At the end of the night during a Bachelor party, four of us left a strip club. My one buddy had been drinking a ton of beer, I was unfortunately the designated driver and as we were in the parking lot, he stops and says “ if I don’t piss now, I’ll be filling your back seat. As he stumbled to get his button fly jeans opened he moaned, shit I’m gonna piss myself, how bout some help guys!? So the others were hammered to care, I undid his button and then he struggled to pull out what looked like a 7 inch uncut, fat limp dick. He pissed for what seemed like five minutes, then kept shaking it as he laughed. Our other friend said “ pal, I’d heard you had a horse cock, but wtf?” He muttered something about “ family curse, too big for some pussies”.
I was lucky to get all 3 of them into my vehicle and drive them home. He sat in the front passengers seat and kept asking to go back to the club to get one of the dancer’s phone numbers. He was so drunk, yet all horned up from plenty of lap dances, that he kept rubbing that monster thru his jeans. I told him, I don’t need you to blow in my new suv. At a stop light, with his window down, he did yell out to some girls, “ hey sweetie, wanna ride my nine incher?”....yeah, I’m guessing he was being honest. That was quite the 20 minute drive.