Do Bisexual men actually settle down with men?

[therebrand]

I'm not convinced.
From personal experience, every bi man I was with ended up using me and then ran when a woman came along.
So I stopped dating bisexual men - until meeting my current boyfriend (who's bi).
I'm pansexual, myself.

But I still have certain feelings about bi men - I don't know if it's the truth or just a generalization.
So, tell me - Am I wrong to think that it's extremely rare for bi men to settle down with men?
Or is it wrong to think bi men date men and rarely settle down with women?
Because I've been played so much by bi men in the past (all except one, were hookups several years ago), that all I want is a gay, trans or pan guy at this point.
Hell, even DL/questioning men will be fine.
As long as I don't end up played and heartbroken again, anything else will do.

But please remember to focus on the discussion of bisexual men settling down with men, and how prevalent (or non-prevalent) it is in today's generation.

Option 2: If that subject is too boring, we can discuss how prevalent DL and bi porn stars are, and how many of them start out "straight" and end up dating or settling down with men, later in life.
I find that fascinating, too.

 

[isawyounaked]

Well, not sure about the opinion of others, but im bi and I want to end with a man. My boyfriend is aware of my sexuality, he is gay, and everything is ok.

 

[therebrand]

Well, not sure about the opinion of others, but im bi and I want to end with a man. My boyfriend is aware of my sexuality, he is gay, and everything is ok.

It's great to know there's one good man out there.
I dumped my bi ex a few hours ago - I got so tired of my bi exes using me to cheat with women.
I can't date bi men anymore and it's left me with trust issues.

 

[JJJason27]

I mean, I'm bi and only interested in men for sex but I'm very upfront about it. Regardless of how good the sex is, I would never string along a guy who's interested in a relationship, firstly because I'm not an asshole, and secondly because I don't know if I could even fake it. Romance, emotional intimacy, whatever you wanna call it, doesn't come easily for me with men as it does with women.

 

[chpoof]

It's pretty well understood that nearly all bi guys end up settling down with a woman. Not long after I first joined this community, another member (bisexual man) said something like 80-90% of bi guys always choose women. So that would leave 10-20% who would potentially end up with a man. So I think it does sometimes happen, but it's pretty uncommon.

To the OP: Since you're pan, wouldn't that mean that you too, potentially, could choose to settle down with a woman? Just curious.

 

[therebrand]

It's pretty well understood that nearly all bi guys end up settling down with a woman. Not long after I first joined this community, another member (bisexual man) said something like 80-90% of bi guys always choose women. So that would leave 10-20% who would potentially end up with a man. So I think it does sometimes happen, but it's pretty uncommon.

To the OP: Since you're pan, wouldn't that mean that you too, potentially, could choose to settle down with a woman? Just curious.

I have 2 boyfriends currently.
There is one woman I have a crush on, but I bet she doesn't remember me (we almost met 7 years ago, but there was a snowstorm in my area, so we weren't able to meet).
We haven't spoken ever since.
It's wild, trying to get in touch with her.

 

[chpoof]

I have 2 boyfriends currently.
There is one woman I have a crush on, but I bet she doesn't remember me (we almost met 7 years ago, but there was a snowstorm in my area, so we weren't able to meet).
We haven't spoken ever since.
It's wild, trying to get in touch with her.

How do you think your boyfriends would be react if you ended up reconnecting with her and decided you'd rather be with her instead of them?

 

[bigboaster]

I'm not convinced.
From personal experience, every bi man I was with ended up using me and then ran when a woman came along.
So I stopped dating bisexual men - until meeting my current boyfriend (who's bi).
I'm pansexual, myself.

But I still have certain feelings about bi men - I don't know if it's the truth or just a generalization.
So, tell me - Am I wrong to think that it's extremely rare for bi men to settle down with men?
Or is it wrong to think bi men date men and rarely settle down with women?
Because I've been played so much by bi men in the past (all except one, were hookups several years ago), that all I want is a gay, trans or pan guy at this point.
Hell, even DL/questioning men will be fine.
As long as I don't end up played and heartbroken again, anything else will do.

But please remember to focus on the discussion of bisexual men settling down with men, and how prevalent (or non-prevalent) it is in today's generation.

Option 2: If that subject is too boring, we can discuss how prevalent DL and bi porn stars are, and how many of them start out "straight" and end up dating or settling down with men, later in life.
I find that fascinating, too.

From personal experience (and gauging most of the replies on this site on the very subject you're addressing here). No it isn't merely a stereotype that they typically settle with women.

It does seem to be a general consensus. I'm sure someone can cook up whatever theories they want about why that is.

My only contention with this conversation is the assumption that bi men will ALWAYS string along gay men intentionally or "use them for sex" and it always comes off very biphobic and ignorant to me.

Sure some bi guys might have been assholes who "lead a guy on" to leave him later on. But it's not "most bi guys". That is genuine stereotype and a false one perpetuated often by burned homosexuals who got dumped.

I think it's much more likely the terms of these relationships were not clear and is more likely just mutual miscommunication about commitment and boundaries.

 

[therebrand]

How do you think your boyfriends would be react if you ended up reconnecting with her and decided you'd rather be with her instead of them?

There is no instead.
I'd date all 3 of them.
I'm polyamorous.
This isn't about me - I made this thread for all of you.

 

[isawyounaked]

Well, humm, one of my bi friends once told me that he feels confy as bottom with guys, not as top. Like he could be "vulnerable" with boys, but with girls, he feels like they are delicate and need to be protected, so there is when he feels moved by feelings and love. So, its like some bi guys feels that other guys are like friends, companions, and sexmates, but girls are the ones to be in love.
And i kinda understand because, I being bisexual, im gay romantic. Maybe most of bi guys are straigt romantic.
Less think and more enjoy life guys.

 

[twojoints]

I've been with my bi partner for 8 years.

 

[therebrand]

I've been with my bi partner for 8 years.

Are you married to him?
Or still in a LTR? (Long term relationship)

 

[twojoints]

Are you married to him?
Or still in a LTR? (Long term relationship)

We plan on getting married, just would prefer to spend the money on something else. His mom would love us to though.

 

[therebrand]

We plan on getting married, just would prefer to spend the money on something else. His mom would love us to though.

Elope and go to a Justice of the Peace.
My parents did, and so will I.
I'm not flashy, so I'd much rather elope.

 

[XavierLDN]

Hey bi guy here, and married to a guy. We are together for 15 years now. I do have a desire with to get with women but def will not swap my husband for a woman

 

[Urien]

Personally, more than half my body count is from bi guys. I often prefer having sex with bi guys because I think the differences between us make sex much hotter. (I love my gay boys don't get me wrong)

Of these hundreds of bi guys, 80-90% did end up with women (they did not lead me on). I only entered in a relationship with one, it was practically an accident but we fell for one another. I was 24 and he was 27. Just reminiscing about it now refills me with joy from that period. My most passionate/hot relationship.

It lasted 3.5-4 years, but one July 12th at noon, and he called me all stressed and on the verge of tears only to tell me that he is sorry for what he is about to say, which was that he was about to get married (like that day). I went all stoic on him and wished him the best. The truth was it crushed me to be left that way and for a woman. In retrospect, I believe it affected me so badly because I could never give him what she can and that hurt. The very idea of love was destroyed to me. It took me years to recover from this enough to date again.

So yeah, if you like bisexual/heteroromantic guys the highs are high but the lows are really low. I think it's important to establish from the get go if this bi guy is hetero or bi romantic if you actually want to get serious. Back then these words did not even exist.

I do wish that these bi guys would at least consider a gay relationship. Maybe our reputation is awful, but some gay men are homemakers, and they can both provide and nurture. Especially when they are a bit older. They can be stabilizing force which is what a lot of these men want from these heterosexual relationships.

As much as the sex with these men is great, I can't help but think I am a fetish to them. Just a fetish to them.

Anyway, I think as I got older I learned this lesson, only a gay man can really love you the way you want if you let them. So, find yourself a nice and good man who is funny (and happens to be gay - or mostly gay xD).

 

[therebrand]

Hey bi guy here, and married to a guy. We are together for 15 years now. I do have a desire with to get with women but def will not swap my husband for a woman

I must say, you're one in a million.
I dumped my bi ex yesterday, because he cheated 5 times in our 1 year relationship.
I'm still trying to heal from the resentment & trust issues he gave me.
I love him, but when he wants to settle down, then I will date him.
Until then - he's just immature.
He'll use the next girl, the way he used me.
I date to find a husband, not the village slut (I told him that directly).

 

[678wsb]

I don't plan on settling down ever, but I'm only sexually into men while I'm sexually/romantically into women. I don't think I could ever see myself with a man.

 

[Urien]

I don't think I could ever see myself with a man.

Could please elaborate on what it is about men that makes you think "I can't build a home, family, life with this person because they are a man"?

Have you pondered the question that the reason you cannot romantically love other men is because you may not love yourself - a man?

 

[678wsb]

Could please elaborate on what it is about men that makes you think "I can't build a home, family, life with this person because they are a man"?

Have you pondered the question that the reason you cannot romantically love other men is because you may not love yourself - a man?

You're right. I don't love myself, but I don't think that's the main driver. I've never felt anything but lust for men. Never once have I thought "I'd marry him," which I think all the time with women. Women and men are built differently physically and mentally. I've never connected emotionally to men like I have women.