Do you believe in labels? I think I'm bisexual, because gay and straight don't feel right to me.

[krazykaizen]

However, I also have fairly specific profiles of what type of man I am attracted to and what type of woman I am attracted to, otherwise I don't feel any type of attraction towards any of them.

Same here man. I'm kinda picky in terms of that hahaha.

I'm generally only attracted to masculine, athletic men, and strong-willed, curvy/voluptuous women (I could say I like having "things to hold onto").

I'm into the same types of dudes. For women, I prefer more or less the same, except I'd prefer older.

I have never fallen in love, and I am quite lazy in looking for or trying to have something quite formal with someone (invest time and resources), although I admit that sometimes one feels alone and wants to have someone to give as a gift.

Me neither man, never had that "feeling" with someone, but I've had pretty strong crushes on people. Just never that "in love" feeling.

Something curious that I have discovered about my attraction to men is that in 90% of cases, the men that I am sexually attracted to are usually the profile of a man that I would also like to be like, it is like an aspirational libido.

Dude that is exactly what I've been thinking these past few months. Even when I was younger I would be attracted to guys I would wanna be, and copy their physique/mannerisms. Aspirational libido is such a great term because it describes my turn on specifically.

 

[mateo.fdl]

Same here man. I'm kinda picky in terms of that hahaha.

I'm into the same types of dudes. For women, I prefer more or less the same, except I'd prefer older.

Me neither man, never had that "feeling" with someone, but I've had pretty strong crushes on people. Just never that "in love" feeling.

Dude that is exactly what I've been thinking these past few months. Even when I was younger I would be attracted to guys I would wanna be, and copy their physique/mannerisms. Aspirational libido is such a great term because it describes my turn on specifically.

That "aspirational libido" thing is interesting.

Sometimes there are some men that I also would like fuck and I wouldn't like to look like them

Hhowever those men that I really like a lot and that I would sometimes dream of having a relationship with, are ALWAYS men that generate the feeling in me of "how great it would be to see myself like him, and how much I want to have something with him", like "I like his upper body and touch/kiss it, and I also would like also have a upper body like him ...". Actually the guys that more horny make me are the guys that "have more things that I would like to have"

Usually athletes and sport guys are my favorites, I see them and is like "OMG, I want have sex with him and also I want look like him"

About age, I have not a preference meanwhile they are hot

 

[Triplexintx]

This is exactly what I'm thinking. If my girlfriend and I have an amazing sex life then there's no need to look for a guy to satisfy me.

To each their own, but I don't like when guys use being bisexual as an excuse to cheat on their wives.

 

[LeadingE]

Labels have their place in society. But they shouldn't define you. I always use the analogy of a spice rack: each spice is labeled so everyone can have an IDEA of what to expect. The label can give a sense of what might happened if used, but not give a complete story. It is up to the use of the spice, not the label. In a nutshell, it prevents misunderstandings. Unfortunately, our society today has labels completely identifying a person to include their personality, desire, needs. But it shouldn't be that way.

I also believe (just my opinion) that true bisexual people are more mentally advanced. I do not believe that sex = love or sex = loyalty or sex = commitment. Sex is just sex. Yes, I have a wife who has the same beliefs. I'm a lucky man for sure. We've played together. We've played separately. We've pretty much done it all. But at the end of the day, we tell each other everything. That is loyalty. That is love. When we have sex, there is nothing about love. It is purely a physical attraction at work. Me getting up and turning on the coffee pot in the morning for my wife while she's in the shower is love. Me getting in the shower to fuck her is sex, lust. That's the difference IMO. We're 20+ years together and still going strong because we both understand and believe our opinions on sex, love, labels, loyalty, communication.

For you, being labeled "bi" is just you being categorized in the spice rack. But it definitely does not have to represent (and does not actually) who you are as a total person. Bi does not define your personality, communication skills, loyalty, mental stability, coping mechanisms, societal beliefs, religious beliefs, work ethics....etc etc. YOU the person determine that.

So wear the label, but YOU define yourself.

 

[bud77]

Labels belong on soup cans not people. We all live in a spectrum and it’s not always fixed on either end or even in the middle. It slides
Attractions and urges are not the same as sex. Until you’ve fully experienced both genders you won’t know what your needs or desires really are which is ok. Totally different intensities. Enjoy both Technically I’m tri-sexual. Will try anything once; twice if I like it. Lol. Explore now and don’t wait til you wonder what you missed. Have fun!

 

[Wannabee]

I've always been sexually attracted to dudes. I've just never called it "attraction". I went to an all-boys high school, and I would get the butterflies whenever I saw a good-looking classmate of mine. I've never acted on those feelings, because I again I didn't know that it was an attraction. In college, I've had huge crushes on guys and girls. That was when I was like, "Ok yeah, definitely not straight. I'm attracted to guys as well". I would have a bigger crush on a guy than a girl by looking at their Instagram and staring at them when I see them on campus. Went on dating apps, with settings to "Likes: Guys and Girls". For some reason I just couldn't click with any of the guys though. I don't picture myself dating a guy.
I definitely like girls. Romantically, I've always wanted a girlfriend. To go on dates with her, go to the movies with her, cuddle with her. It just wouldn't feel right having a girlfriend, without telling her my "gay" side though. This is probably just my internalized biphobia, but if I do get a girlfriend I wouldn't want her to know about my gay side. This is when I feel like I should "revert" to being completely straight. Straight though, just doesn't feel right to me. I KNOW I'm attracted to guys. But, I'm definitely not gay, even sometimes I think I am. I really like girls, I want a girlfriend. These labels are so confining, that I don't relate to any of them. Bisexual feels closest to home. I like girls romantically, but wouldn't mind maybe drunk kissing or drunk making out with a guy I find attractive. I also relate to Kit Connor from Heartstopper, which definitely solidifies the bisexual label. There are days when my male attraction is really strong, when I think I'm gay, and some days I really want to cuddle with a girlfriend, when I think I'm straight but it doesn't feel right calling myself that.

Just wanted to rant, hope to hear some comforting advice and words from you all.

I'm old enough that I don't label anyone anymore like youth might. While I consider myself hetero have a fetish for transexuals meaning quality women who look and act the part. Have thought about trying to find a man who would fulfill some sexual release haven't done that and probably won't. I know gays and have acquaintances who are Bi with good conversations on the subject. The what I call normal dating scene has turned into a farce with even the older crowd either in the business or just plain idiots lol. Had an FWB at one point and we clicked great till she said she wanted to get married. We are still friends but she moved on and is very happy in her life. So I have some videos I get my visuals with and play, you might say it's sad but it's better then playing some of the games people play. Sorry for the rant, hope everyone has a great day!

 

[Iag1024768]

I agree with most of what has been said above. Label are worthless! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels the same way as all of you. I had a high school crush on a male classmate, but never acted on it because he didn't seem interested. I've also had crushes on female classmates. I ended up marrying a women over 33 years ago. We lived together for 2 years before marriage and I told her I was bisexual before we got married. I don't think she understands to this day. I've never been with a man. I came very close several times, but road blocks always got in the way. I would say I'm more gay than straight, but fell in love with a woman first. I've always regretted not trying something with the male classmate. My brain always does the what ifs. I do wonder if I had, what would my life look like today? I explained it one day to a gay friend (his selected label) that I'm on the fence, and can play on both sides of the fence. I think I fall in love with the person, and it doesn't matter what sex they are. I also believe that I'm more enlightened than most. I've never cared what anyone thinks of me, so fear is not a factor that stops me from coming out. I truly believe it is no one else's business! I have told a few friends, and to my surprise they didn't care.

 

[Richard the lionheart]

I'm old enough that I don't label anyone anymore like youth might. While I consider myself hetero have a fetish for transexuals meaning quality women who look and act the part. Have thought about trying to find a man who would fulfill some sexual release haven't done that and probably won't. I know gays and have acquaintances who are Bi with good conversations on the subject. The what I call normal dating scene has turned into a farce with even the older crowd either in the business or just plain idiots lol. Had an FWB at one point and we clicked great till she said she wanted to get married. We are still friends but she moved on and is very happy in her life. So I have some videos I get my visuals with and play, you might say it's sad but it's better then playing some of the games people play. Sorry for the rant, hope everyone has a great day!

I agree with you

 

[WilliamG]

There are LOTS of partnered bi men out there. This really changes the field. For them (myself included), sex with a guy is more about the activity. Not any kind of romance. Scratch the itch... Then move on till the itch comes back.

 

[DoYouLikeMe]

I view myself and so do does my fuckbuddy as 100% straight. Although we are 100% bi.

From my point of view, do what makes you feel comfortable and that of your partner.

My fuckbuddy and I have no need to be open and label ourselves as bi. There is nothing to gain and a lot to lose. There is the unncessary social attention and stigmitization of being openly bi male, so its not like it enhance or improves the quality of our lives in any capacity.

Biwomen are celebrated and embraced, its respected and given the bagde of exploring their sexuality. Bimen are not viewed in this manner by society.

My fuckbuddy and I are private and discrete in our activities and importantly we are both happy and satisfied with the arrangement. If our arrangement works and is satisfying why would there be a need to be open about it? Neither of us want to risk or place in jeopardy our current arrangement.

I wish I had this.

 

[bi2]

I wish I had this.

I actually believe the reason why we have been hooking up for the last few years and remained with each other, is simply because its just easy convenient uncomplicated sex with no dramas whatsoever.

Our "relationship" is just a purely physical carnal one that we both enjoy. He is a strong dominant alpha masculine top, I am very much a feminine passive submissive bottom. He is much larger, taller and older than me as well with decades between in us in age difference. Our "chemistry" is a result of him pleasing and satisfyin me and vice versa.

I have been away with him, when he has had work interstate. Even in a public setting where no one knows us, there is no need to display public forms of affection when he is horny and wants to fuck, its unnecessary and it adds complications. If anything being like platonic male friends in public, makes the sex even hotter behind closed doors.

Thats not to say we have not had "fun" in a public setting, but its done in a very discreet manner with almost zero chance of anyone seeing us.

 

[bi2]

There are LOTS of partnered bi men out there. This really changes the field. For them (myself included), sex with a guy is more about the activity. Not any kind of romance. Scratch the itch... Then move on till the itch comes back.

Its why I love my occasional hookups with my fuckbuddy, its uncomplicated and when its over, we go our seperate ways till the next time we are available. Its purely a physical outlet for both of us.

 

[DoYouLikeMe]

I actually believe the reason why we have been hooking up for the last few years and remained with each other, is simply because its just easy convenient uncomplicated sex with no dramas whatsoever.

Our "relationship" is just a purely physical carnal one that we both enjoy. He is a strong dominant alpha masculine top, I am very much a feminine passive submissive bottom. He is much larger, taller and older than me as well with decades between in us in age difference. Our "chemistry" is a result of him pleasing and satisfyin me and vice versa.

I have been away with him, when he has had work interstate. Even in a public setting where no one knows us, there is no need to display public forms of affection when he is horny and wants to fuck, its unnecessary and it adds complications. If anything being like platonic male friends in public, makes the sex even hotter behind closed doors.

Thats not to say we have not had "fun" in a public setting, but it’s done in a very discreet manner with almost zero chance of anyone seeing us.

So fucking hot. Again, wish I were in your shoes!

 

[bi2]

So fucking hot. Again, wish I were in your shoes!

Thank you, very sweet of you to say.

It was really just by pure luck that we "found" each other on Silverdaddies.

He was looking for a discrete bottom guy around his age in his 60s and was very flattered that I was interested and showed attention. We then exchanged messages for about a month, making sure we were both on the same page of what we wanted. We finally met up for coffee in a public but discrete setting just to make sure, I guess we were both real and genuine from both our ends. He knew I was very nervous and shy, so there was very low expectations of how our coffee date would go. I think the bottom line, no pun intended, was while the coffee date was understandably short, we were both happy with what we saw. A few days later he invited me over to his place and that was the begining of our fuckbuddy relationship.

We have been hooking up since 2020.

 

[DoYouLikeMe]

Thank you, very sweet of you to say.

It was really just by pure luck that we "found" each other on Silverdaddies.

He was looking for a discrete bottom guy around his age in his 60s and was very flattered that I was interested and showed attention. We then exchanged messages for about a month, making sure we were both on the same page of what we wanted. We finally met up for coffee in a public but discrete setting just to make sure, I guess we were both real and genuine from both our ends. He knew I was very nervous and shy, so there was very low expectations of how our coffee date would go. I think the bottom line, no pun intended, was while the coffee date was understandably short, we were both happy with what we saw. A few days later he invited me over to his place and that was the begining of our fuckbuddy relationship.

We have been hooking up since 2020.

I need to follow your lead and do the same. Congrats on having a great situationship. Sounds like the perfect setup.

 

[bi2]

I need to follow your lead and do the same. Congrats on having a great situationship. Sounds like the perfect setup.

Im sure it helps our fuckbuddy arrangement, that being a submissive bottom, Im always accomodating and prefer and enjoy following his lead and direction. It also helps us that he is a very strong older dominant alpha top, so him having all that masculine energy makes my ability to happily comply so much easier. I know it turns him on having all that power and control over me and for me I get pleasure of being dominated. So naturally we have enjoyed being together in our roles whenever we can hookup for MM sex.

I think with us both being bi and private and discrete helps, as neither of us are there for any emotional connection, its the pure pleasure of MM sex that we enjoy.

 

[ivanl]

I've always been sexually attracted to dudes. I've just never called it "attraction". I went to an all-boys high school, and I would get the butterflies whenever I saw a good-looking classmate of mine. I've never acted on those feelings, because I again I didn't know that it was an attraction. In college, I've had huge crushes on guys and girls. That was when I was like, "Ok yeah, definitely not straight. I'm attracted to guys as well". I would have a bigger crush on a guy than a girl by looking at their Instagram and staring at them when I see them on campus. Went on dating apps, with settings to "Likes: Guys and Girls". For some reason I just couldn't click with any of the guys though. I don't picture myself dating a guy.
I definitely like girls. Romantically, I've always wanted a girlfriend. To go on dates with her, go to the movies with her, cuddle with her. It just wouldn't feel right having a girlfriend, without telling her my "gay" side though. This is probably just my internalized biphobia, but if I do get a girlfriend I wouldn't want her to know about my gay side. This is when I feel like I should "revert" to being completely straight. Straight though, just doesn't feel right to me. I KNOW I'm attracted to guys. But, I'm definitely not gay, even sometimes I think I am. I really like girls, I want a girlfriend. These labels are so confining, that I don't relate to any of them. Bisexual feels closest to home. I like girls romantically, but wouldn't mind maybe drunk kissing or drunk making out with a guy I find attractive. I also relate to Kit Connor from Heartstopper, which definitely solidifies the bisexual label. There are days when my male attraction is really strong, when I think I'm gay, and some days I really want to cuddle with a girlfriend, when I think I'm straight but it doesn't feel right calling myself that.

Just wanted to rant, hope to hear some comforting advice and words from you all.

You don't necessarily need to label yourself. That being said, labels can certainly give us a better understanding of who we are.

Perhaps you can look into the Split attraction model? For some people, attraction takes many forms. Sexual, Romantic, Aesthetic... as an asexual, sex-neutral, panromantic, kinky dude, I don't give a shit about sex and it doesn't add to a relationship for me, but I can fall in love with or have a crush on anyone regardless of gender. At the same time, I'm attracted to lean, masculine bodies because they're my idea of eye candy - but the thought of sexual activity or even jerking off to naked photos of them never really crosses my mind (vanilla sex does nothing for me, but put them in chains and ropes and I instantly get hard lmao) - and this is again separate from romantic attraction, because I've definitely had crushes on plus-sized ladies before!

So yeah, you could just be homosexual but heteroromantic.

 

[cavalaomarciano]

I've always been sexually attracted to dudes. I've just never called it "attraction". I went to an all-boys high school, and I would get the butterflies whenever I saw a good-looking classmate of mine. I've never acted on those feelings, because I again I didn't know that it was an attraction. In college, I've had huge crushes on guys and girls. That was when I was like, "Ok yeah, definitely not straight. I'm attracted to guys as well". I would have a bigger crush on a guy than a girl by looking at their Instagram and staring at them when I see them on campus. Went on dating apps, with settings to "Likes: Guys and Girls". For some reason I just couldn't click with any of the guys though. I don't picture myself dating a guy.
I definitely like girls. Romantically, I've always wanted a girlfriend. To go on dates with her, go to the movies with her, cuddle with her. It just wouldn't feel right having a girlfriend, without telling her my "gay" side though. This is probably just my internalized biphobia, but if I do get a girlfriend I wouldn't want her to know about my gay side. This is when I feel like I should "revert" to being completely straight. Straight though, just doesn't feel right to me. I KNOW I'm attracted to guys. But, I'm definitely not gay, even sometimes I think I am. I really like girls, I want a girlfriend. These labels are so confining, that I don't relate to any of them. Bisexual feels closest to home. I like girls romantically, but wouldn't mind maybe drunk kissing or drunk making out with a guy I find attractive. I also relate to Kit Connor from Heartstopper, which definitely solidifies the bisexual label. There are days when my male attraction is really strong, when I think I'm gay, and some days I really want to cuddle with a girlfriend, when I think I'm straight but it doesn't feel right calling myself that.

Just wanted to rant, hope to hear some comforting advice and words from you all.

Labels exist to make easier for us to describe ourselves, not for us to fit in them. So it's ok, choose whatever you feel like.

But I did not see you describe any sexual activity with men or women? Have you ever had sex or even made out with both? Becuase it REALLY helped me understand my attraction when I was a teenager to have sex with both women and men and experience what I really liked at that point and whom I was most attracted to.

 

[Daution]

labels r gross. bisexuality is the worse one. just say ur fluid

 

[bigboaster]

labels r gross. bisexuality is the worse one. just say ur fluid

"Labels are gross". Proceeds to suggest a label. Um okay.. lol