Do you believe in labels? I think I'm bisexual, because gay and straight don't feel right to me.

[Aety]

I don't really put much stock in labels. I'm sexually attracted to both sexes, but I'd sooner get hard from seeing a beautiful woman than a hot guy. I've never been romantically interested in any man, but I prefer sucking cock than eating pussy.

When it comes to penetration, I don't have much interest in fucking a guy, but I love fucking a girl's ass as well as having a hung guy bury his cock in mine.

I'm fortunate I have a wife who loves being fucked hard and who loves fucking me with a strap on.

 

[FrankieGuile]

I've always been sexually attracted to dudes. I've just never called it "attraction". I went to an all-boys high school, and I would get the butterflies whenever I saw a good-looking classmate of mine. I've never acted on those feelings, because I again I didn't know that it was an attraction. In college, I've had huge crushes on guys and girls. That was when I was like, "Ok yeah, definitely not straight. I'm attracted to guys as well". I would have a bigger crush on a guy than a girl by looking at their Instagram and staring at them when I see them on campus. Went on dating apps, with settings to "Likes: Guys and Girls". For some reason I just couldn't click with any of the guys though. I don't picture myself dating a guy.
I definitely like girls. Romantically, I've always wanted a girlfriend. To go on dates with her, go to the movies with her, cuddle with her. It just wouldn't feel right having a girlfriend, without telling her my "gay" side though. This is probably just my internalized biphobia, but if I do get a girlfriend I wouldn't want her to know about my gay side. This is when I feel like I should "revert" to being completely straight. Straight though, just doesn't feel right to me. I KNOW I'm attracted to guys. But, I'm definitely not gay, even sometimes I think I am. I really like girls, I want a girlfriend. These labels are so confining, that I don't relate to any of them. Bisexual feels closest to home. I like girls romantically, but wouldn't mind maybe drunk kissing or drunk making out with a guy I find attractive. I also relate to Kit Connor from Heartstopper, which definitely solidifies the bisexual label. There are days when my male attraction is really strong, when I think I'm gay, and some days I really want to cuddle with a girlfriend, when I think I'm straight but it doesn't feel right calling myself that.

Just wanted to rant, hope to hear some comforting advice and words from you all.

To answer your question directly, "yes," I believe in labels because they exist. People use them. People use them as a way to describe things that fall into common categories, like one's sexuality. One may not like the label being used to describe them, but that does not necessarily invalidate the label. One can choose one's own label, but that does not necessarily compel others to adopt it. One can say, "I don't believe in labels," but that does not mean they do not exist and will not be used.

 

[Doosp]

I've been in that phase where I was ashamed for being attracted to guys and tried to ignore/push that feeling as if i do it long enough they're gonna go away lol I ended up getting tired of lying to myself.

Sexuality is a spectrum you can label yourself what you're comfortable with: bi, pan, heteroflexible, queer or you can simply say that you're not straight

 

[FrankieGuile]

I've been in that phase where I was ashamed for being attracted to guys and tried to ignore/push that feeling as if i do it long enough they're gonna go away lol I ended up getting tired of lying to myself.

Sexuality is a spectrum you can label yourself what you're comfortable with: bi, pan, heteroflexible, queer or you can simply say that you're not straight

According to lots of research data easily accessed on the Internet, sexuality is not a "spectrum" for at least 90% of the U.S. population which identifies as straight, meaning (in those surveys) only and exclusively being attracted to a member of the opposite sex. It is more accurate to say that "sexuality can be a spectrum for a few in the minority." Implying that sexuality is, in fact, "a spectrum" when that spectrum only applies to outliers, defies the data and denies the identity of the great many who identify as straight.

 

[Trybogus01]

I view myself and so do does my fuckbuddy as 100% straight. Although we are 100% bi.

From my point of view, do what makes you feel comfortable and that of your partner.

My fuckbuddy and I have no need to be open and label ourselves as bi. There is nothing to gain and a lot to lose. There is the unncessary social attention and stigmitization of being openly bi male, so its not like it enhance or improves the quality of our lives in any capacity.

Biwomen are celebrated and embraced, its respected and given the bagde of exploring their sexuality. Bimen are not viewed in this manner by society.

My fuckbuddy and I are private and discrete in our activities and importantly we are both happy and satisfied with the arrangement. If our arrangement works and is satisfying why would there be a need to be open about it? Neither of us want to risk or place in jeopardy our current arrangement.

Are you both married or do you have girlfriends?

 

[ManchesterTom]

I will be honest with her, and tell her that I have been attracted to guys. I'm sorry, but I just don't think I see her "sharing" me with another guy. I'm only into monogamous relationships. Similar to straight couples, I would find it weird if a guy would allow his girlfriend to be with another guy. If she's my girlfriend I would be loyal to her and only her. Sure I'll also find other girls and even guys attractive, but I wouldn't wanna sleep with them while I'm in a relationship.

Most women even if they have feelings for you will run a mile when they find out that their partner is attracted to something they can't compete with.

 

[Stephenmass]

I will be honest with her, and tell her that I have been attracted to guys. I'm sorry, but I just don't think I see her "sharing" me with another guy. I'm only into monogamous relationships. Similar to straight couples, I would find it weird if a guy would allow his girlfriend to be with another guy. If she's my girlfriend I would be loyal to her and only her. Sure I'll also find other girls and even guys attractive, but I wouldn't wanna sleep with them while I'm in a relationship.

I admire this statement. If you are honest with her from the start, there is nothing to hide or feel guilt over while in the relationship. She knew going into a relationship with you what you describe here. Only thing I'd advise being careful of is while I admire the statement you just made, if your desire for men gets to the "I wonder what it would be like to be with a man" stage, it could be hard to not find out while committed. I call it supersurfacing. If you are not in a relationship now, potentially find out now so it's "out of your system" even if only to know who you are completely. It sounds as if there is something holding you back from discovering yourself more. There's plenty of men who are in married or relationships with women who are going off to get some with a guy. Discover you so you know you better and it does sound as if you have some guilt for having same sex attraction. Accept yourself for whatever you are and don't restrict yourself to labels, unless you decide yourself on that label. Hope that makes sense. If your avatar is you, you would not have problems with either sex in terms of attraction both ways. Your a nice looking guy.

 

[FrankieGuile]

I admire this statement. If you are honest with her from the start, there is nothing to hide or feel guilt over while in the relationship. She knew going into a relationship with you what you describe here. Only thing I'd advise being careful of is while I admire the statement you just made, if your desire for men gets to the "I wonder what it would be like to be with a man" stage, it could be hard to not find out while committed. I call it supersurfacing. If you are not in a relationship now, potentially find out now so it's "out of your system" even if only to know who you are completely. It sounds as if there is something holding you back from discovering yourself more. There's plenty of men who are in married or relationships with women who are going off to get some with a guy. Discover you so you know you better and it does sound as if you have some guilt for having same sex attraction. Accept yourself for whatever you are and don't restrict yourself to labels, unless you decide yourself on that label. Hope that makes sense. If your avatar is you, you would not have problems with either sex in terms of attraction both ways. Your a nice looking guy.

Can you put a dimension on your assertion that "plenty of men who are in married or relationships with women who are going off to get some with a guy?" How many, or what percentage, of those men do you quantify as "plenty." One study from the National Health Interview Survey (NHIS) found that 0.7% American adults identify as bisexual. Another study combined five U.S.-based surveys to estimate that 1.4% of adult males identify as bisexual. Is this what you mean by "plenty?" It just doesn't seem like "plenty" even despite the very broad definition of "bisexual" in the survey as “the capacity for emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction to more than one sex or gender." By that definition any man who loves his brother is bisexual!

 

[Stephenmass]

Can you put a dimension on your assertion that "plenty of men who are in married or relationships with women who are going off to get some with a guy?" How many, or what percentage, of those men do you quantify as "plenty." One study from the National Health Interview Survey (NHIS) found that 0.7% American adults identify as bisexual. Another study combined five U.S.-based surveys to estimate that 1.4% of adult males identify as bisexual. Is this what you mean by "plenty?" It just doesn't seem like "plenty" even despite the very broad definition of "bisexual" in the survey as “the capacity for emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction to more than one sex or gender." By that definition any man who loves his brother is bisexual!

First off, I wouldn't think of anything sexual with any family member. So let's get that off the table. Ridiculous. I am talking about men who are looking for hookups, NOT the general population. I am talking about the "population" on m2m hookup sites. From my own experience, I'd say 50% of the guys out there are married, yes to a woman. Maybe they are gay guys using their wife as "beards", who knows. Maybe they are bisexual, who knows. I didn't talk about bisexuality directly. I simply said for him to figure out who he is and so forth. If he's bisexual, it's all good. If he is gay, it's all good. If he is straight, it's all good. I don't really give two shits what he is tbh. I simply was telling him while he is FREE to find out because he has no current attachments, it may be a good idea to figure out who he is. I got the impression he had never acted out with a male to male in real life and felt there may be more to his story is all. And now while he has no attachments is a great time to find out. From personal experience unless she has full knowledge (assuming he marries in the future) sneaking around is no fun. So I guess, long story short, plenty. And I'll stand by it. I know because I don't play with married guys. Once they say married (and I don't care if it's to a woman or a guy) I say thanks, but no thanks.

 

[Stephenmass]

Can you put a dimension on your assertion that "plenty of men who are in married or relationships with women who are going off to get some with a guy?" How many, or what percentage, of those men do you quantify as "plenty." One study from the National Health Interview Survey (NHIS) found that 0.7% American adults identify as bisexual. Another study combined five U.S.-based surveys to estimate that 1.4% of adult males identify as bisexual. Is this what you mean by "plenty?" It just doesn't seem like "plenty" even despite the very broad definition of "bisexual" in the survey as “the capacity for emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction to more than one sex or gender." By that definition any man who loves his brother is bisexual!

Not trying to "poke the bear" here but I'd find these studies and percentages BS tbh. Statistics can say whatever you want them to say as long as you find the right study. And I don't think the statement towards the end includes brother to begin with. Only the emotional end maybe, but I've never had romantic or physical attraction to my brother. I'm surprised the "Kinsey" study wasn't included here.

 

[FrankieGuile]

Not trying to "poke the bear" here but I'd find these studies and percentages BS tbh. Statistics can say whatever you want them to say as long as you find the right study. And I don't think the statement towards the end includes brother to begin with. Only the emotional end maybe, but I've never had romantic or physical attraction to my brother. I'm surprised the "Kinsey" study wasn't included here.

I'm not a "bear" so no worries about poking me; yours was only a honest and genuine challenge.

Whereas it is fair and good to scrutinize and doubt any study or survey, doing so does not render them "BS" and especially not when they are conducted by reputable organizations and researchers and show consistent outcomes. However, I would characterize as "BS" the wholesale rejection of such outcomes just because they do not support dogmatic orthodoxy or desired narratives.

In an otherwise thoughtful post, I detected a subtle attempt to advance a false and unsupported narrative; to wit, "plenty of men who are in married or relationships with women who are going off to get some with a guy?" I've cited only two studies that tend to counter that notion but, for the sake of intellectual honesty, I wanted to allow for the possibility that "plenty" was a biased and, perhaps, hopeful, exaggeration. Hence, my question, which has gone unanswered, so I'll make my point.

It is simply unnecessary to exaggerate the population of men identifying as bisexual, or assert, in a twist of tortured logic, that a great many men are secretly or latently bisexual, in order to justify one's own self being bisexual. The membership enrollment of a club does not justify its virtue. It causes me to wonder if people prone to such exaggeration or denial have the self-respect and backbone to determine their own identity and blaze their own path.

 

[Stephenmass]

I'm not a "bear" so no worries about poking me; yours was only a honest and genuine challenge.

Whereas it is fair and good to scrutinize and doubt any study or survey, doing so does not render them "BS" and especially not when they are conducted by reputable organizations and researchers and show consistent outcomes. However, I would characterize as "BS" the wholesale rejection of such outcomes just because they do not support dogmatic orthodoxy or desired narratives.

In an otherwise thoughtful post, I detected a subtle attempt to advance a false and unsupported narrative; to wit, "plenty of men who are in married or relationships with women who are going off to get some with a guy?" I've cited only two studies that tend to counter that notion but, for the sake of intellectual honesty, I wanted to allow for the possibility that "plenty" was a biased and, perhaps, hopeful, exaggeration. Hence, my question, which has gone unanswered, so I'll make my point.

It is simply unnecessary to exaggerate the population of men identifying as bisexual, or assert, in a twist of tortured logic, that a great many men are secretly or latently bisexual, in order to justify one's own self being bisexual. The membership enrollment of a club does not justify its virtue. It causes me to wonder if people prone to such exaggeration or denial have the self-respect and backbone to determine their own identity and blaze their own path.

I answered your question thoroughly in two posts. Simply put, the "population" I was referring to are those who seek m2m hookups, relationships, whatever. I was not referring to the general population. Statistics as you know can be manipulated to show whatever the writer wants them to show. I don't have the time or patience to look at studies, especially sexual orientation studies or whatever you want to call it studies. They are NEVER accurate. Next time I'll make it clearer to more or less say those seeking m2m whatevers, etc. That way there will be no confusion. As you know I am sure, on hookup apps or whatever, I don't know the total number of "users" of that app. So I cannot give percentages as you can on studies taken by whoever answered the study. Even on those, people are not truthful so the study becomes useless. I know my own identity if that was directed at me. I also have plenty of self respect and backbone to my convictions. That said, yes there are PLENTY. Even you, based on your percentages here 50/50, have to admit even to you the percentages you gave are way too low.

 

[FrankieGuile]

I answered your question thoroughly in two posts. Simply put, the "population" I was referring to are those who seek m2m hookups, relationships, whatever. I was not referring to the general population. Statistics as you know can be manipulated to show whatever the writer wants them to show. I don't have the time or patience to look at studies, especially sexual orientation studies or whatever you want to call it studies. They are NEVER accurate. Next time I'll make it clearer to more or less say those seeking m2m whatevers, etc. That way there will be no confusion. As you know I am sure, on hookup apps or whatever, I don't know the total number of "users" of that app. So I cannot give percentages as you can on studies taken by whoever answered the study. Even on those, people are not truthful so the study becomes useless. I know my own identity if that was directed at me. I also have plenty of self respect and backbone to my convictions. That said, yes there are PLENTY. Even you, based on your percentages here 50/50, have to admit even to you the percentages you gave are way too low.

I don't "know," and I don't agree, that "statistics as you know can be manipulated to show whatever the writer wants them to show" and believe it is tired dogma to believe as much. In fact, I reject that proposition entirely and believe people are more intelligent and more discerning and not so easily fooled. Apparently, you believe otherwise.

 

[Stephenmass]

I know otherwise. Depending on the intended audience, a good statistician can always make their statistics more favorable for it's target audience. You are entitled to reject what you want as will I. People that have the intelligence to at least challenge the facts will find either of two things. They mostly agree or long story short, the supposed facts are, in fact, BS.

 

[FrankieGuile]

I know otherwise. Depending on the intended audience, a good statistician can always make their statistics more favorable for it's target audience. You are entitled to reject what you want as will I. People that have the intelligence to at least challenge the facts will find either of two things. They mostly agree or long story short, the supposed facts are, in fact, BS.

How convenient for you that the fact you find "BS" are the ones that do not suit your beliefs. Some call it close-minded but I just call it obdurate. I pity the courtroom that has you as a jurist, ignoring a mountain of evidence that counters your preconceptions.

 

[Stephenmass]

How convenient for you that the fact you find "BS" are the ones that do not suit your beliefs. Some call it close-minded but I just call it obdurate. I pity the courtroom that has you as a jurist, ignoring a mountain of evidence that counters your preconceptions.

Like I said, you can believe what you want to believe but I also have the right to believe what I believe as well. A courtroom? While what we are discussing has nothing to do with a courtroom or evidence for that matter, we all interpret what we have in front of us for evidence. FWIW, I do believe that every defendant in a courtroom are innocent until proven guilty. That's why they have here usually 12 jurors and discussion before handing out a verdict, unless it's a hung jury (no pun intended).

 

[krazykaizen]

How convenient for you that the fact you find "BS" are the ones that do not suit your beliefs. Some call it close-minded but I just call it obdurate. I pity the courtroom that has you as a jurist, ignoring a mountain of evidence that counters your preconceptions.

Like I said, you can believe what you want to believe but I also have the right to believe what I believe as well. A courtroom? While what we are discussing has nothing to do with a courtroom or evidence for that matter, we all interpret what we have in front of us for evidence. FWIW, I do believe that every defendant in a courtroom are innocent until proven guilty. That's why they have here usually 12 jurors and discussion before handing out a verdict, unless it's a hung jury (no pun intended).

No need to argue here my dudes, just wanted to post a thread on how sometimes I also like dick and not just pussy lol

 

[Stephenmass]

No need to argue here my dudes, just wanted to post a thread on how sometimes I also like dick and not just pussy lol

I know man. Not quite sure why it turned into what it did. Turned a molehill into a mountain. In any event, as I said a few times, he can believe what he wants to, that's his right and I can believe what I want to, that's my right. I thought it would end there.

 

[FrankieGuile]

No need to argue here my dudes, just wanted to post a thread on how sometimes I also like dick and not just pussy lol

Your predilection was not the issue. The issue was the unsupported contention that "plenty of men who are in married or relationships with women who are going off to get some with a guy?" There is no data to back up such an opinion, and substantial data refuting such an opinion. So, as opinions go, it is an ignorant one.

 

[Stephenmass]

So if I don't agree with you it's ignorant? I wasn't ignorant to you responding yet you can't resist getting that last word in. So take the last word and we are done here.