feeling really envious of other guys w/ bigger dicks

[eaubrouillante]

I think it's more about people wanting what they don't/can't have. Yes, my dick is big, but as fun as compliments are, I have also had problems. I don't get to top as often as I'd like because my penis hurts my partner even with tons of prep. I'm kind of jealous of the smaller/average guys who can have as much anal sex as they'd like without having any problems.

I'm in the same situation! It's all fun and games the idea of having big dick, sucking one is something interesting, but when it comes to penetration it is really frustating! In my case is even worse because I know my partner likes to bottom, but my dick hurts him so...

 

[Cum_is_Great]

You see, my being worse than you in every way is as if I am literally you. And you are those other potential partners whom you feel you are literally nothing to because you are worse than them or because there are others who are better looking, etc.

If you feel it's impossible for others to value you at all, how can you, a person who is better than me in every way see value in me? Just like those other people can't see value in you? This is a serious question, I would love to know the answer.

 

[FrankieGuile]

My feeling do happen to align with reality though. I mean...have you seen the posts on sites like this one? Also, I'm not really attractive enough to talk to women like that at the moment

Obdurateness is not an attractive quality; less so self-pity.

 

[ddgggg]

I'm in the same situation! It's all fun and games the idea of having big dick, sucking one is something interesting, but when it comes to penetration it is really frustating! In my case is even worse because I know my partner likes to bottom, but my dick hurts him so...

Sounds tough.

 

[ddgggg]

Obdurateness is not an attractive quality; less so self-pity.

You don’t get it - why are you always so dismissive? People like hot dudes. If it came out of anyone else’s mouth, I get the impression you wouldn’t have the same reaction.

 

[FrankieGuile]

You don’t get it - why are you always so dismissive? People like hot dudes. If it came out of anyone else’s mouth, I get the impression you wouldn’t have the same reaction.

I can assure you that I have the same reaction to anyone who yammers and complains as ceaselessly as you.

 

[ddgggg]

I can assure you that I have the same reaction to anyone who yammers and complains as ceaselessly as you.

You still don’t get it. Either way, then why proceed to subject yourself to my “ceaseless yammering and complaining”?

 

[Cum_is_Great]

Well, it's apparent you refuse to further interact with me. I can only assume because you think I am nothing.

Its a pity. If you survive until you get a little older, you'll realize how little this really mattered overall and cringe. Your brain is immature, and that's not an insult. Literally the last part of the brain to develop is the part that can reason more logically and not so self centered and emotional. Some take longer than others (or never fully develop at all) but usually fully develops at around age 25 IIRC.

 

[markgaveda]

I'd rather be proud of something that I had a say in the decision rather than something that I had none.

You are absolutely right

 

[ddgggg]

Well, it's apparent you refuse to further interact with me. I can only assume because you think I am nothing.

Its a pity. If you survive until you get a little older, you'll realize how little this really mattered overall and cringe. Your brain is immature, and that's not an insult. Literally the last part of the brain to develop is the part that can reason more logically and not so self centered and emotional. Some take longer than others (or never fully develop at all) but usually fully develops at around age 25 IIRC.

I don't really think I would end up magically thinking different when I hit 25. As is, a lot of people my age don't think this way (not really sure how, though). And how is this cringe? Most people think the same way, but simply don't say the quiet part out loud.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

I don't really think I would end up magically thinking different when I hit 25. As is, a lot of people my age don't think this way (not really sure how, though). And how is this cringe? Most people think the same way, but simply don't say the quiet part out loud.

Of course you don't. You're young and your brain is immature. You think your way of thinking is how everyone thinks. But trust me, if you get older, you'll cringe. (Or you figure out you have a neurological disorder) Anyway be well. I'll see you in your next topic.

 

[markgaveda]

Of course you don't. You're young and your brain is immature. You think your way of thinking is how everyone thinks. But trust me, if you get older, you'll cringe. (Or you figure out you have a neurological disorder) Anyway be well. I'll see you in your next topic.

With age comes experience... This is more a case of being inexperienced, and lacking a more nuanced, and broader perspective.. Maturity more has to do with self-awareness and introspection than some specific type of brain chemistry - the things that are crucial and foundational for personal growth. Anyone at any age can develop them, or completely forgoe them. But feel free to interject if you think that I might be mistaken.

Anyway.. I understand that there there must be so many things that he's currently struggling and grappling with to the point where he might be a little overwhelmed (or not), and I see my long gone past self in him a lot, but he needs to understand that it's okay to be imperfect, and that every single person on Earth is flawed in some sort of way, that he's putting way too much pressure on himself to conform to society's preconceived notions and unrealistic expectations, that everyone's on the same boat, that you can date as an imperfect person, and that you can improve things that you consider to be weaknesses one by one. He just needs to start from somewhere, and take it from there. Striving to be the best there is in some respective category is normal for those with sky high aspirations, but a distinction needs to be made for when those wishes are a little unrealistic, and when they affect your value as a person.

I feel really bad for him, but I'm sure that he'll figure it out eventually.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

With age comes experience... This is more a case of being inexperienced, and lacking a more nuanced, and broader perspective.. Maturity more has to do with self-awareness and introspection than some specific type of brain chemistry - the things that are crucial and foundational for personal growth. Anyone at any age can develop them, or completely forgoe them. But feel free to interject if you think that I might be mistaken.

Anyway.. I understand that there there must be so many things that he's currently struggling and grappling with to the point where he might be a little overwhelmed (or not), and I see my long gone past self in him a lot, but he needs to understand that it's okay to be imperfect, and that every single person on Earth is flawed in some sort of way, that he's putting way too much pressure on himself to conform to society's preconceived notions and unrealistic expectations, that everyone's on the same boat, that you can date as an imperfect person, and that you can improve things that you consider to be weaknesses one by one. He just needs to start from somewhere, and take it from there. Striving to be the best there is in some respective category is normal for those with sky high aspirations, but a distinction needs to be made for when those wishes are a little unrealistic, and when they affect your value as a person.

I feel really bad for him, but I'm sure that he'll figure it out eventually.

Oh I agree with you! It's really unfortunate. He reminds me of my former friend. He has autism and couldn't see perspectives other than his own. He only wanted to date "10/10" women. Got enraged if anyone suggested he try to relax his expectations and standards. He swore up and down he was hideous. The dude was handsome, especially when he had a beard in my opinion. But he let his insecurities get the best of him. He refused to date. He got so obsessed with his percieved lack of value and "uglyness" and more, that he spiraled into suicude attempts.

If OP doesn't have a neurological disorder, then eventually he will figure it out. If not, without proper help and a willingness to change their flawed and obsessed thinking (which OP does not show whatsoever), I'm afraid of the potential consequences.

 

[ddgggg]

Oh I agree with you! It's really unfortunate. He reminds me of my former friend. He has autism and couldn't see perspectives other than his own. He only wanted to date "10/10" women. Got enraged if anyone suggested he try to relax his expectations and standards. He swore up and down he was hideous. The dude was handsome, especially when he had a beard in my opinion. But he let his insecurities get the best of him. He refused to date. He got so obsessed with his percieved lack of value and "uglyness" and more, that he spiraled into suicude attempts.

If OP doesn't have a neurological disorder, then eventually he will figure it out. If not, without proper help and a willingness to change their flawed and obsessed thinking (which OP does not show whatsoever), I'm afraid of the potential consequences.

It's not just about dating for me though, it's just about being seen as attractive and being valued for it. If I don't look attractive enough, if I were to put myself out there, I run the risk of not being seen as enough. At that point, I either become enough or avoid putting myself out there. One of those is more feasible in the near future, and it's not becoming enough. I'm not even sure if I want to be in a relationship with a woman - I'm still figuring out my sexuality, as silly as it sounds.

 

[ddgggg]

With age comes experience... This is more a case of being inexperienced, and lacking a more nuanced, and broader perspective.. Maturity more has to do with self-awareness and introspection than some specific type of brain chemistry - the things that are crucial and foundational for personal growth. Anyone at any age can develop them, or completely forgoe them. But feel free to interject if you think that I might be mistaken.

Anyway.. I understand that there there must be so many things that he's currently struggling and grappling with to the point where he might be a little overwhelmed (or not), and I see my long gone past self in him a lot, but he needs to understand that it's okay to be imperfect, and that every single person on Earth is flawed in some sort of way, that he's putting way too much pressure on himself to conform to society's preconceived notions and unrealistic expectations, that everyone's on the same boat, that you can date as an imperfect person, and that you can improve things that you consider to be weaknesses one by one. He just needs to start from somewhere, and take it from there. Striving to be the best there is in some respective category is normal for those with sky high aspirations, but a distinction needs to be made for when those wishes are a little unrealistic, and when they affect your value as a person.

I feel really bad for him, but I'm sure that he'll figure it out eventually.

And I do appreciate the words, but it just feels like some people are pretty damn near perfection, to say the least. The impact of those people's flaws on how they could be perceived becomes largely negligible. I don't know how I could be okay with myself if I lack so much compared to those other people. Just yesterday, someone called me small, for example. A lot of people on this website wouldn't agree that 7" is actually big/hung. On that one thread where the person replying says whether the person above them was hung or not, some of the people considered not hung were pretty much the same size as me.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

It's not just about dating for me though, it's just about being seen as attractive and being valued for it. If I don't look attractive enough, if I were to put myself out there, I run the risk of not being seen as enough. At that point, I either become enough or avoid putting myself out there. One of those is more feasible in the near future, and it's not becoming enough. I'm not even sure if I want to be in a relationship with a woman - I'm still figuring out my sexuality, as silly as it sounds.

I didnt tell his whole life story. It wasnt just about dating for him either. You haven't said a single thing he hasn't. I actually got through to him but he said he didnt want to take my advice or change because he thought it made him weak or feel stupid. *shrug*.

He also thought his over 8 inch dick was small and pathetic. He refused to workout anymore because of an injury which made his muscle look "abnormal".

Your reasonings seem logical to you. Delusional to everyone else without some sort of rational explanation why a person would keep thinking this way. But while you are in this state of mind, nothing will convince you otherwise unless you want to try to change your perspective. I'm no longer going to say anything different than this if we interact, as that is the solution. If you want to be a brick wall and stubborn, then I can accommodate. I've learned how to interact with such people.

 

[Evenflow618]

@cumisgreat we are beating a dead corpse already

 

[ddgggg]

@cumisgreat we are beating a dead corpse already

you don’t get it either

 

[MisterB]

you don’t get it either

Hello my friend. Haven't heard from you in our ongoing PM in a while.

I'm sad to see it appears you've spiraled again into quite the cesspool of self-pity.

Since you are back to square one, let me make some observations from our PM conversation as well as the many public threads you've created and posted in:

1. Your Gynecomastia: You've mentioned several times you suffer from gynecomastia. That's something you can overcome. From Google:

Does gynecomastia go away?

Gynecomastia usually goes away without medical treatment. The breasts flatten out within a few months to a couple of years. If gynecomastia is very severe, there is medicine that can help. And if gynecomastia lasts past puberty, surgery can reduce the size of the breasts.

I suggest you google it yourself and read up about it. If you haven't already, I suggest you see a Doctor and see what would be best to treat your particular case. In other words, stop talking about it and get busy. Take action. First step: See a Doctor.

2. Your Looks: What you look like is based on genetics. You can maximize your appearance with good grooming. A good haircut. Taking care of your skin. Good grooming is paramount to helping you feel and look your best.

Lots of on-line stylists you can Google for ideas on how to dress. And if money is a consideration which is normal, there are a lot of affordable clothes that look sharp. If you can afford to, hire an image consultant for advice and guidance.

3. Your Height: 5' 9". There is not much you can do about that. We are as tall or short as our genetics dictate. You could get a bit taller as you are only 20. Or you could be at your full height.

One thing I learned is my life is that there are many things we cannot change about ourselves. Height is one and penis size is another, unless you want to see a penis enlargement doctor, which I don't recommend.

4. Your Penis: Most of us commenting here have peeped your gallery; we've seen your penis. Of which you've posted several pictures. And for someone whose main complaint has been the size of his penis, your complaint my friend is bogus. As I and others have repeatedly told/reminded you, you have a large penis.

So let's stop with your continued lament that you don't have a large penis; that you have a small penis. It's not true.

5. Your Body: As we've discussed via PM and many others have said, that can be changed. As I've told you several times now in our PM, it takes work. Hard work. Commitment and dedication. Time.

Time is one constant in our lives. You are 20. Prime age to get started in the gym and build some good muscle. In five years you will be 25. What will you have to show for that time?

Will you get busy and do the work or will you continue to post about all your problems here while doing nothing? A perfect scenario would be for you, instead of lamenting your current situation, is to get busy and work out and tell us about your progress. But that means you have to take action. Get busy. Away from the keyboard.

Hire a personal trainer, a good one, who will assess your body type and help you develop a training regimen that will maximize achieving your goals. It's worth the money! To learn how to lift correctly. That form is more important than how much weight you throw around.

6. Your Diet:

Your diet is as important if not more so than your lifting regimen. You do not gain muscle in the gym. You tear down the muscle when you lift. That muscle then repairs and grows depending upon what you feed it.

A knowledgeable personal trainer is able to also provide you with nutritional advice and guidance. What to eat when to maximize your muscle growth/development. What to eat to help you bulk up or slim down, whichever is your goal.

Protein is your friend. If you are lifting regularly, you should take in about 3/4 to 1 gram of protein for each pound you weigh.

It's often hard to eat enough protein, so a protein shake or protein bar is a good substitute. So is eating 5 meals a day. Spaced out about 3 or so hours apart. This helps keep you from getting hungry between meals.

7. Your Mind/Psyche: This is the area you should start to work on NOW. Ask yourself this question: Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? If not, then you need to get busy and work to change that thought process.

Your current mindset it extremely negative. Past time for that to change IF you really want to change. And that will take work. And time.

Find a good therapist. One skilled in helping people like you with mind/body image issues. It's crucial you get out of your own way if you are to achieve the goals you routinely lament you have yet don't seem to be taking any action to achieve.

8. Reality: You are unique. There is no one else on this planet like you. You are able-bodied. You have the ability to overcome everything you've mentioned repeatedly as a roadblock to your happiness.

You are now at a crossroads and it's up to you which direction you choose.

You can continue down the road of wallowing self-pity lamenting all that you perceive to be wrong with you.

OR

You can get busy and meet these perceptions head on. I have given you a good roadmap to follow.

But what I and others here cannot do is do the work for you. You have to get yourself in the game and take action to make yourself into what you believe to be the ideal self.

And that means dealing with reality. That there will always be someone taller. More muscular. More handsome. Better educated. But other than height and looks, pretty much all else is achievable. Some people have to work harder to achieve their goals.

Just as some people are natural athletes, some are naturally predisposed genetically to pack on muscle. There are more people like you and me who aren't. Yet people like us have done just that because they didn't lament their current state of appearance, but rather, got busy and did the work. You too can do that. But you have to really want that. Walk your talk!!!

TL;DR: it's time to shit or get off the pot.

Either a) get busy and start the process to achieve your goals.

Or b) continue to rue your current lot in life.

And if b is sadly your choice, please do all of us a favor and NOT post anymore about it here at LPSG. As one Member said above: That horse is dead.

Let me close by sharing two of my life mantras that have served me well, especially times when I'm not feeling the best about myself:

1. Life is Too Short Not to be Happy; and

2. IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME.

I sincerely hope you will take all I've said in the spirit in which I've offered it. I want you to succeed. I want to to be happy in your own skin.

But facing reality and dealing with overcoming your obstacles is only something you can do.

Best of luck to you on your life's journey. And again, please no more of your self-pity posts. They don't help you. At all!

 

[ddgggg]

Hello my friend. Haven't heard from you in our ongoing PM in a while.

I'm sad to see it appears you've spiraled again into quite the cesspool of self-pity.

Since you are back to square one, let me make some observations from our PM conversation as well as the many public threads you've created and posted in:

1. Your Gynecomastia: You've mentioned several times you suffer from gynecomastia. That's something you can overcome. From Google:

Does gynecomastia go away?

Gynecomastia usually goes away without medical treatment. The breasts flatten out within a few months to a couple of years. If gynecomastia is very severe, there is medicine that can help. And if gynecomastia lasts past puberty, surgery can reduce the size of the breasts.

I suggest you google it yourself and read up about it. If you haven't already, I suggest you see a Doctor and see what would be best to treat your particular case. In other words, stop talking about it and get busy. Take action. First step: See a Doctor.

2. Your Looks: What you look like is based on genetics. You can maximize your appearance with good grooming. A good haircut. Taking care of your skin. Good grooming is paramount to helping you feel and look your best.

Lots of on-line stylists you can Google for ideas on how to dress. And if money is a consideration which is normal, there are a lot of affordable clothes that look sharp. If you can afford to, hire an image consultant for advice and guidance.

3. Your Height: 5' 9". There is not much you can do about that. We are as tall or short as our genetics dictate. You could get a bit taller as you are only 20. Or you could be at your full height.

One thing I learned is my life is that there are many things we cannot change about ourselves. Height is one and penis size is another, unless you want to see a penis enlargement doctor, which I don't recommend.

4. Your Penis: Most of us commenting here have peeped your gallery; we've seen your penis. Of which you've posted several pictures. And for someone whose main complaint has been the size of his penis, your complaint my friend is bogus. As I and others have repeatedly told/reminded you, you have a large penis.

So let's stop with your continued lament that you don't have a large penis; that you have a small penis. It's not true.

5. Your Body: As we've discussed via PM and many others have said, that can be changed. As I've told you several times now in our PM, it takes work. Hard work. Commitment and dedication. Time.

Time is one constant in our lives. You are 20. Prime age to get started in the gym and build some good muscle. In five years you will be 25. What will you have to show for that time?

Will you get busy and do the work or will you continue to post about all your problems here while doing nothing? A perfect scenario would be for you, instead of lamenting your current situation, is to get busy and work out and tell us about your progress. But that means you have to take action. Get busy. Away from the keyboard.

Hire a personal trainer, a good one, who will assess your body type and help you develop a training regimen that will maximize achieving your goals. It's worth the money! To learn how to lift correctly. That form is more important than how much weight you throw around.

6. Your Diet:

Your diet is as important if not more so than your lifting regimen. You do not gain muscle in the gym. You tear down the muscle when you lift. That muscle then repairs and grows depending upon what you feed it.

A knowledgeable personal trainer is able to also provide you with nutritional advice and guidance. What to eat when to maximize your muscle growth/development. What to eat to help you bulk up or slim down, whichever is your goal.

Protein is your friend. If you are lifting regularly, you should take in about 3/4 to 1 gram of protein for each pound you weigh.

It's often hard to eat enough protein, so a protein shake or protein bar is a good substitute. So is eating 5 meals a day. Spaced out about 3 or so hours apart. This helps keep you from getting hungry between meals.

7. Your Mind/Psyche: This is the area you should start to work on NOW. Ask yourself this question: Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? If not, then you need to get busy and work to change that thought process.

Your current mindset it extremely negative. Past time for that to change IF you really want to change. And that will take work. And time.

Find a good therapist. One skilled in helping people like you with mind/body image issues. It's crucial you get out of your own way if you are to achieve the goals you routinely lament you have yet don't seem to be taking any action to achieve.

8. Reality: You are unique. There is no one else on this planet like you. You are able-bodied. You have the ability to overcome everything you've mentioned repeatedly as a roadblock to your happiness.

You are now at a crossroads and it's up to you which direction you choose.

You can continue down the road of wallowing self-pity lamenting all that you perceive to be wrong with you.

OR

You can get busy and meet these perceptions head on. I have given you a good roadmap to follow.

But what I and others here cannot do is do the work for you. You have to get yourself in the game and take action to make yourself into what you believe to be the ideal self.

And that means dealing with reality. That there will always be someone taller. More muscular. More handsome. Better educated. But other than height and looks, pretty much all else is achievable. Some people have to work harder to achieve their goals.

Just as some people are natural athletes, some are naturally predisposed genetically to pack on muscle. There are more people like you and me who aren't. Yet people like us have done just that because they didn't lament their current state of appearance, but rather, got busy and did the work. You too can do that. But you have to really want that. Walk your talk!!!

TL;DR: it's time to shit or get off the pot.

Either a) get busy and start the process to achieve your goals.

Or b) continue to rue your current lot in life.

And if b is sadly your choice, please do all of us a favor and NOT post anymore about it here at LPSG. As one Member said above: That horse is dead.

Let me close by sharing two of my life mantras that have served me well, especially times when I'm not feeling the best about myself:

1. Life is Too Short Not to be Happy; and

2. IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME.

I sincerely hope you will take all I've said in the spirit in which I've offered it. I want you to succeed. I want to to be happy in your own skin.

But facing reality and dealing with overcoming your obstacles is only something you can do.

Best of luck to you on your life's journey. And again, please no more of your self-pity posts. They don't help you. At all!

Thanks for the response. I know this isn't how I should be thinking, but I don't know what to do otherwise. I've tried things to improve my situation and my mindset, and I'm still trying to do them, and they haven't worked and aren't working. To address what you said:

1) I had gynecomastia for several years (since I was a preteen) and I had recently asked my doctor about it - she said that it wouldn't go away without surgery, which I can't afford right now.

2) I take care of my appearance, but even then, I still lack compared to other people. My facial structure just lacks compared to other people (namely my nose, forehead, head shape, and to an extent, lips).

3) I know this is most likely the height I'll be stuck with, but I genuinely can't accept it. Most people think that being 6' or over is more attractive, more masculine etc. and thus, that's another way I lack compared to other people immutably.

4) I was called small on here, and I asked on that chat app Sidechat I had mentioned a while back if my size would be considered big, and not everyone agrees that my size would be big/hung. Sure, I might be above average, but not enough above average compared to other guys. I'm practically nothing compared to A LOT of guys on here, Reddit, Twitter, and elsewhere. People in general hardly agree that 7" is big, and my flaccid/ball size aren't helping my case either.

5 and 6) I'm trying to change my body through changing my eating habits and upping my physical activity. I'm trying to moderate fried/sugary foods at the moment and increase how much protein I eat. Even while I'm venting on here, I still going to the gym / BJJ like we talked about. In all fairness, just because I do one, doesn't mean I can't do the other. But until it is the case that I'm in shape like a lot of the guys on here and elsewhere and IRL, I still lack compared to them. Actively working towards changing myself has yet to stop me from feeling bad about myself. I'm already behind people my age and people younger than me when it comes to getting in shape as is. Sure, I'm still going to put effort it, but I'm arguably already failing. My gynecomastia is inherently making my physique worse. My muscle insertions are probably going to make my physique worse.

7 and 8) I don't really know how to change my mindset. I've tried meds, reducing social media, talking to my parents, talking to a therapist, thinking of myself differently, and none of it has really helped. I genuinely don't like myself, and I'm nothing compared to other people. My uniqueness brings practically nothing to the table compared to other people, even when I've tried (and am still trying!) to make that not be the case. I've seen guys talk about how once they got in shape from going to the gym or just became attractive enough, that they were able to feel good about themselves. I'm imagining that confidence is built from a combination of external and internal factors, the latter being derived from the former. I understand that my posts come off a unproductive, but they help me at least a bit in the moment just to vent out how I feel and talk to other people about it since to be fair, this would be pretty awkward to bring with my parents / a therapist. I don't really know how I could possibly see worth within myself if anything and everything I do is going to be done A LOT better than someone else here, as shown multiple times.

Believe me, I would like to not think this way about things, but I really don't know how to. Every time I try to be positive or discipline myself, any ounce of improvement I make feels meaningless compared to where other people already are and where they have been .