I feel like we are in urgent need of understanding what bisexuality is.

[15153321]

In these past couple of years I've been seeing more and more people misunderstanding the label of bisexual and other sexual/romantic iterations.

Thread after thread, post after post, tweet after tweet of "gay" men saying they find a specific thing about women sexually attractive, or a specific sexual act with women to be enticing or even desirable. The same thing with "straight" men feeling the same thing about men.

I feel that these ppl say stuff like this because they truly don't understand what being bisexual means.

They think that a bisexual person must be 50% attracted to men and 50% attracted to women and because they mostly feel attracted to one of the sexes (gender?), they choose to identify with one of the more known sexual orientations (Gay/Straight) even though they don't belong in them.

Bisexual ppl can be 99% attracted to men or women and still be bi. There are also different romantic iterations like homoromantic/heteromantic that people are simply not aware of.

This leads to a bunch of bisexual men pushing the narrative that, for example, gay men can be find women sexually attractive and still "remain" gay. Or the same with str8 men.

We should urge ppl to better research sexual and romantic orientations, I think it's very important.

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

In these past couple of years I've been seeing more and more people misunderstanding the label of bisexual and other sexual/romantic iterations.

Thread after thread, post after post, tweet after tweet of "gay" men saying they find a specific thing about women sexually attractive, or a specific sexual act with women to be enticing or even desirable. The same thing with "straight" men feeling the same thing about men.

I feel that these ppl say stuff like this because they truly don't understand what being bisexual means.

They think that a bisexual person must be 50% attracted to men and 50% attracted to women and because they mostly feel attracted to one of the sexes (gender?), they choose to identify with one of the more known sexual orientations (Gay/Straight) even though they don't belong in them.

Bisexual ppl can be 99% attracted to men or women and still be bi. There are also different romantic iterations like homoromantic/heteromantic that people are simply not aware of.

This leads to a bunch of bisexual men pushing the narrative that, for example, gay men can be find women sexually attractive and still "remain" gay. Or the same with str8 men.

We should urge ppl to better research sexual and romantic orientations, I think it's very important.

It seems like a good portion of people are hesitant to call themselves bi for some reason. There are countless threads here talking about straight guys looking to meet up and blow each other, but can’t say the word bi. It’s not a curse word, or a bad thing, yet folks are afraid to label themselves as such. You are right in that they seem to have this line in the sand that you need to cross to be “really no”, and they don’t meet that criteria. Call me old fashioned, but I thought that if you were sexually attracted to men and women, you were bi. I know there is more to it these days, but having a sliding scale, “you must be this gay to call yourself bi” seems a bit silly and dishonest.

 

[chpoof]

It seems like a good portion of people are hesitant to call themselves bi for some reason. There are countless threads here talking about straight guys looking to meet up and blow each other, but can’t say the word bi. It’s not a curse word, or a bad thing, yet folks are afraid to label themselves as such. You are right in that they seem to have this line in the sand that you need to cross to be “really no”, and they don’t meet that criteria. Call me old fashioned, but I thought that if you were sexually attracted to men and women, you were bi. I know there is more to it these days, but having a sliding scale, “you must be this gay to call yourself bi” seems a bit silly and dishonest.

Very well said. People tend to make it far more complicated than it needs to be. Also (as I've stated in other posts), men have a tendency to label themselves by how they want others to perceive them instead of how they are naturally wired.

Along those same lines, why is there not even an option for members on this forum to select "bisexual" as their orientation? It's never made sense to me why everyone is shoehorned into picking a number on a scale between straight and gay. I've never understand how you can apply a number to an orientation anyway. 99%? Why not 97% or 92%? There are guys on here whose profiles indicate they're 80% gay and they call themselves gay, while others in the same percentile call themselves bisexual, yet neither has to option to do so in their own profile.

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

Very well said. People tend to make it far more complicated than it needs to be. Also (as I've stated in other posts), men have a tendency to label themselves by how they want others to perceive them instead of how they are naturally wired.

Along those same lines, why is there not even an option for members on this forum to select "bisexual" as their orientation? It's never made sense to me why everyone is shoehorned into picking a number on a scale between straight and gay. I've never understand how you can apply a number to an orientation anyway. 99%? Why not 97% or 92%? There are guys on here whose profiles indicate they're 80% gay and they call themselves gay, while others in the same percentile call themselves bisexual, yet neither has to option to do so in their own profile.

My guess is that even if there was a bi option, so few would actually use it. So many men (here especially) refuse to even mutter that “b word”, and come up with some long winded version that says anything but bi. It should be an option, though. Maybe people might stigmatize themselves less when they can just click a button to best identify themselves.

 

[15153321]

My guess is that even if there was a bi option, so few would actually use it. So many men (here especially) refuse to even mutter that “b word”, and come up with some long winded version that says anything but bi. It should be an option, though. Maybe people might stigmatize themselves less when they can just click a button to best identify themselves.

It's such a weird thing. I feel like a lot of ppl ignore that side of biphobia. It's almost like they're scared of using the label that literally describes them.

 

[chrisrobin]

Its not just the definition of what is bisexual but what are the meaning or all these other titles of sexual orientation.

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

It's such a weird thing. I feel like a lot of ppl ignore that side of biphobia. It's almost like they're scared of using the label that literally describes them.

I think deep, heavy denial of being “un-straight” is where the main problem lies. They would rather alter definitions than use the age old term that fits them to a T, so they can still call themselves straight.

 

[15153321]

I think deep, heavy denial of being “un-straight” is where the main problem lies. They would rather alter definitions than use the age old term that fits them to a T, so they can still call themselves straight.

But that's the thing, it doesn't just happen to str8 ppl. For a community that prides itself on being inclusive, plenty of "gay" men simply cannot admit they're not actually gay and like to be with women. It seems kinda weird but I think they feel some sort of comfort and security by clinging onto that label but it sucks because, as I've mentioned before, it pushed the narrative that gay men have sex with women, which is, categorically, not the case.

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

But that's the thing, it doesn't just happen to str8 ppl. For a community that prides itself on being inclusive, plenty of "gay" men simply cannot admit they're not actually gay and like to be with women. It seems kinda weird but I think they feel some sort of comfort and security by clinging onto that label but it sucks because, as I've mentioned before, it pushed the narrative that gay men have sex with women, which is, categorically, not the case.

Good point. Never meant to say it happens exclusively to the non gay side. Being a straight guy, I felt like I should speak from that vantage point. And here I stupidly thought that being bi would be great, you’re doubling your dating pool! Apparently not… I’ll likely never understand the fear/hesitance to use that term.

 

[15153321]

Good point. Never meant to say it happens exclusively to the non gay side. Being a straight guy, I felt like I should speak from that vantage point. And here I stupidly thought that being bi would be great, you’re doubling your dating pool! Apparently not… I’ll likely never understand the fear/hesitance to use that term.

Your point is very much appreciated! It's nice, in a way, to be able to see that not only gay ppl feel this way and it's nice to be able to share different perspectives on the subject!

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

Your point is very much appreciated! It's nice, in a way, to be able to see that not only gay ppl feel this way and it's nice to be able to share different perspectives on the subject!

I’ve always just found it odd/strange/maddening that people, especially here, can’t see the silliness in calling yourself straight and asking around for other straight dudes to duck around with. I guess it’s fantasy related, but at what point do you come to the realization that if I’m a guy, who fucks women, and is prowling for dick, that I’m a bisexual man? Maybe I’m just a party pooper and can’t get into that fantasy. Oh well.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

I’ve always just found it odd/strange/maddening that people, especially here, can’t see the silliness in calling yourself straight and asking around for other straight dudes to duck around with. I guess it’s fantasy related, but at what point do you come to the realization that if I’m a guy, who fucks women, and is prowling for dick, that I’m a bisexual man? Maybe I’m just a party pooper and can’t get into that fantasy. Oh well.

Disclaimer: I am high and may not be abke to articulate my points and thoughts well. Also mind my tone as I am not meaning to be aggressive or argumentative!

My thoughts and hypothesis on the matter: the main issue here for straight men is women. I'm not talking about the guys who call themselves straight but suck a dick every weekend. I'm talking about a guy who is straight but likes prostate play. Or admitted getting a bj from a dude once and never again. Or they like ____ that gets them labeled gay(or bisexual)

Women have said if they hint even a bit of homosexual activity from a man, they are no longer attractive. I totally understand you guys wanting to have more people accept the bisexual term but its the inherent assumptions of people that scare them away.

According to you guys and others who are adamant about people labeling themselves as bisexual and even not needing to put a percentage, a vast majority of humanity is now bisexual. Does that help anything..? Not really. Because now people are assuming because I got hard watching a woman orgasm solo, I'm suddenly bisexual. I dont want to do anything sexual with a woman. I don't pursue women. I mostly enjoy male-male sex or male solo sex. But occasionally watching a woman having genuine pleasure and orgasms while having sex is hot to me.

If a straight guy said he liked to watch guys cum solo or that he likes being pegged, he would be labeled as a bisexual in denial. That's not fair on him.

Its a little ironic you guys mentioned that you think its silly that someone must be an arbitrary percentage or amount of "gay" to be bisexual but simultaneously apply 100% as the percentage needed to be able to claim being gay or straight.

You say others are wrong making a line needed to be crossed and simultaneously insisting YOUR line is the true line that was already crossed. Its not that you are complaining a line is drawn. You just think they passed it long time ago and are writing a SECOND line further away.

 

[CoburnAisling]

You make good points, yep. I call myself pan, rather than bi. I know people say that bi is inclusive of more than just male/female, but I'm autistic and extremely literal, and I just can't fucking do it, lol. Bi means two, so for me it's easier to use the pan label. I don't argue with other people anymore, though, as I've accepted that my literalism doesn't have to mandate other people's realities.

But yeah, I'm married to a cis man. I'm a cis man. My porn stash is 100% male right now (though I've been thinking about making a new section...), but I've jerked off while looking at some pussy before. And to both trans men and trans women. Generally my mind just sort of makes shit up that makes sense, imagines a scenario, and off I go, lol.

So every once in a while, I just randomly look at something other than cis men for a little fun variety, usually before swapping back to one of my standards to finish. Last time was just yesterday, actually, masturbating to a beer can cock with the head just peaking out of a super aroused (I love when you can see the mound of hardness around her vulva, mimicking an erection) pussy with lips spread wide around the thick rod.

Anyway, I need a break. What were we talking about?

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

Disclaimer: I am high and may not be abke to articulate my points and thoughts well. Also mind my tone as I am not meaning to be aggressive or argumentative!

My thoughts and hypothesis on the matter: the main issue here for straight men is women. I'm not talking about the guys who call themselves straight but suck a dick every weekend. I'm talking about a guy who is straight but likes prostate play. Or admitted getting a bj from a dude once and never again. Or they like ____ that gets them labeled gay(or bisexual)

Women have said if they hint even a bit of homosexual activity from a man, they are no longer attractive. I totally understand you guys wanting to have more people accept the bisexual term but its the inherent assumptions of people that scare them away.

According to you guys and others who are adamant about people labeling themselves as bisexual and even not needing to put a percentage, a vast majority of humanity is now bisexual. Does that help anything..? Not really. Because now people are assuming because I got hard watching a woman orgasm solo, I'm suddenly bisexual. I dont want to do anything sexual with a woman. I don't pursue women. I mostly enjoy male-male sex or male solo sex. But occasionally a woman having genuine pleasure and orgasms while having sex is hot to me.

If a straight guy said he liked to watch guys cum solo or that he likes being pegged, he would be labeled as a bisexual in denial. That's not fair on him.

Its a little ironic you guys mentioned that you think its silly that someone must be an arbitrary percentage or amount of "gay" to be bisexual but simultaneously apply 100% as the percentage needed to be able to claim being gay or straight.

You say others are wrong making a line needed to be crossed and simultaneously insisting YOUR line is the true line that was already crossed. Its not that you are complaining a line is drawn. You just think they passed it long time ago and are writing a SECOND line further away.

Exploring one’s sexuality is different than having a true desire for one something. Many people need to/choose to explore their sexualities to better find their identities, and that’s great. That is done so they can figure out who they truly are. That’s what we are not talking about here. Pegging isn’t a gay act, as it’s performed (typically) with a man and woman. Not so I care about a %. If I didn’t have to, I wouldn’t.

If a “straight” man has any desires, or is turned on by other men, I would consider them bi. It doesn’t matter if they actually go out and blow/fuck guys, they just have the desire and attraction to men and women. Which is cool. No shame in that at all.

I’m not adamant about people labeling themselves bi. I’m suggesting that people be more introspective and honest when it comes to their desires and sexual preferences. That’s all. The more people do it, it may become less stigmatized.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

I don't argue with other people anymore, though, as I've accepted that my literalism doesn't have to mandate other people's realities.

Thank you for this! Ultimately this is the real issue! I don't mean to say this to shut down discussion but ultimately its people mandating other people's lives. It doesn't affect us personally at all.

 

[15153321]

Disclaimer: I am high and may not be abke to articulate my points and thoughts well. Also mind my tone as I am not meaning to be aggressive or argumentative!

My thoughts and hypothesis on the matter: the main issue here for straight men is women. I'm not talking about the guys who call themselves straight but suck a dick every weekend. I'm talking about a guy who is straight but likes prostate play. Or admitted getting a bj from a dude once and never again. Or they like ____ that gets them labeled gay(or bisexual)

Women have said if they hint even a bit of homosexual activity from a man, they are no longer attractive. I totally understand you guys wanting to have more people accept the bisexual term but its the inherent assumptions of people that scare them away.

According to you guys and others who are adamant about people labeling themselves as bisexual and even not needing to put a percentage, a vast majority of humanity is now bisexual. Does that help anything..? Not really. Because now people are assuming because I got hard watching a woman orgasm solo, I'm suddenly bisexual. I dont want to do anything sexual with a woman. I don't pursue women. I mostly enjoy male-male sex or male solo sex. But occasionally watching a woman having genuine pleasure and orgasms while having sex is hot to me.

If a straight guy said he liked to watch guys cum solo or that he likes being pegged, he would be labeled as a bisexual in denial. That's not fair on him.

Its a little ironic you guys mentioned that you think its silly that someone must be an arbitrary percentage or amount of "gay" to be bisexual but simultaneously apply 100% as the percentage needed to be able to claim being gay or straight.

You say others are wrong making a line needed to be crossed and simultaneously insisting YOUR line is the true line that was already crossed. Its not that you are complaining a line is drawn. You just think they passed it long time ago and are writing a SECOND line further away.

Whilst I understand your PoV and it makes sense when it pertains to straight men, with all the expectations and judgements and prejudices from society, your argument doesn't really apply to gay men.

From what I understood, you're saying that some ppl are straight and might like to be pegged or watch a guy cum but they're still straight, and it makes sense to me, but gay men, that are part of a community that prides itself on being inclusive to all, and that feel attraction to women (even if it's just a little bit) but still refuse to rightly use the label "bisexual" make no sense to me.

Attraction is a chemical reaction in the brain. A gay man would not have a chemical reaction that would cause arousal towards a woman because they simply don't find women to be sexually attractive. I, for once, cannot see a woman in a sexual manner, period. There's no ifs, ands or buts, it is simply inconceivable to me. If a gay man finds a woman to be sexually attractive, they're not gay, thus, they shouldn't use that label.

And then again, you might say "Oh, but I only find women attractive in certain situations", that is still bisexuality! Because you don't have to be 50% attracted to women and 50% attracted to men to be bisexual. You can even prefer to date men (homoromantic) and still be attracted to women, only sometimes. You're still bisexual.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

Exploring one’s sexuality is different than having a true desire for one something. Many people need to/choose to explore their sexualities to better find their identities, and that’s great. That is done so they can figure out who they truly are. That’s what we are not talking about here. Pegging isn’t a gay act, as it’s performed (typically) with a man and woman. Not so I care about a %. If I didn’t have to, I wouldn’t.

If a “straight” man has any desires, or is turned on by other men, I would consider them bi. It doesn’t matter if they actually go out and blow/fuck guys, they just have the desire and attraction to men and women. Which is cool. No shame in that at all.

I’m not adamant about people labeling themselves bi. I’m suggesting that people be more introspective and honest when it comes to their desires and sexual preferences. That’s all. The more people do it, it may become less stigmatized.

I agree with you but others who feel similarly may not agree with your pegging not being a gay act. Nor do they allow someone a chance to explore their sexuality.

You even said it yourself, if a guy has a desire to so something sexual with a man, even if he doesnt act on it, he is bisexual. Trying to figure your sexuality means there's a desire and even if not acting on it, he is no longer straight. He is bisexual and needs to label himself accordingly.

Also apologies if I ever say YOU ____ i really mean "people who tend to be really invested in proper sexuality labels in general" and not personally you or anyone in this topic. Ive just read up on and spoken with many people over the years on such a thing.

I feel it is great to have people introspect and maybe even fully accept theur true bisexuality but I really think its the stigma assumptions from other people that makes them avoid it. Their life is vastly more convenient just saying they are straight. It may not be entirely honest and I dont condone it but I can understand it. Women will not mess with bisexual men so they will deny forever to keep being able to have a chance to be with them

 

[Cum_is_Great]

Whilst I understand your PoV and it makes sense when it pertains to straight men, with all the expectations and judgements and prejudices from society, your argument doesn't really apply to gay men.

From what I understood, you're saying that some ppl are straight and might like to be pegged or watch a guy cum but they're still straight, and it makes sense to me, but gay men, that are part of a community that prides itself on being inclusive to all, and that feel attraction to women (even if it's just a little bit) but still refuse to rightly use the label "bisexual" make no sense to me.

Attraction is a chemical reaction in the brain. A gay man would not have a chemical reaction that would cause arousal towards a woman because they simply don't find women to be sexually attractive. I, for once, cannot see a woman in a sexual manner, period. There's no ifs ands or buts, it is simply inconceivable to me. If a gay man finds a woman to be sexually attractive, they're not gay, thus, they shouldn't use that label.

And then again, you might say "Oh, but I only find women attractive in certain situations, that is still bisexuality! Because you don't have to be 50% attracted to women and 50% attracted to men to be bisexual. You can even prefer to date men (homoromantic) and still be attracted to women, only sometimes. You're still bisexual.

I am not bisexual. I am not in denial. I am gay. But hearing a human in sexual throws of pleasure is hot! I don't think a gay man enjoying straight porn is bisexual but according to your strict logic, they are. That also means straight men who enjoy straight porn is bisexual too. The logic breaks apart when such rigidity is applied!

You're just 100% gay, not 99% gay! I put the 1% because I can enjoy straight porn but according to you I am now bisexual and should label myself as such accordingly which just I dont understand... @Call_Me_Dave do you agree I am bisexual?

 

[15153321]

It doesn't affect us personally at all.

But it does, because "gay" men that insist on clinging to the label of gay whilst fucking women left and right are creating a new form of conversion therapy where they convice themselves and others that gay men can, should and do fuck women.
Not only that, some of them go out of their way to shame actual gay men for not wanting to be with women, calling us close-minded.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

But it does, because "gay" men that insist on clinging to the label of gay whilst fucking women left and right are creating a new form of conversion therapy where they convice themselves and others that gay men can, should and do fuck women.
Not only that, some of them go out of their way to shame actual gay men for not wanting to be with women, calling us close-minded.

That isnt a direct consequence of not policing others sexuality though. That is ignorance and gullibility of people. Id suggest trying to focus on that angle than police what people call themselves. Honestly because of how subjective this all is, its difficult to fight on this end of whst does and doesnt constitue as gay straight or bi.

I dont deny this stuff happens but it still isnt affecting you directly. You husband or SO will still be yours. You still will find men who are gay to be with. You can still talk before hand to find out if they are actually just bisexual and go about keeping persuing a relationship or not. You can just say you just dont fuck women and nothing changes on your part. Its not like even if for some reason people think gay men can like women sexually you are forced to. They just are ignorant, ya know? No skin off your bones