I feel like we are in urgent need of understanding what bisexuality is.

[Call_Me_Dave]

I come here looking for pretense, and this thread is hunting ground abundant with game. The poster was referring to anyone claiming a sexual identity not approved by that poster's personal experience. I stand by my posts.

Discernment in reading for subtle false narratives is also very important.

Tell me where it said all bisexual people are liars. I’ll wait, but won’t hold my breath.

 

[Andrej_u]

I am bisexual. I am mostly attracted to men, I've always been with men or transgender men and only a couple times with non-binary people. Romantically, I fall in love with men, but I could fall in love with someone who is non-binary or trans. I doubt I could fall in love with a cis woman, but you never know. Sexually I do find some women attractive, and I could go into more detail about genital preference and so on.

This is my sexuality, and 4 lines of text were not enough to fully describe it. I am ready to tell the full story to people who are interested, and to my friends.
However, saying "gay" gives an 80% approximation of my sexuality, in just 3 letters. It also approximates my social sexuality better, as you'll see me do a lot of gay things like having sex with men, and you don't see me do bisexual stuff, at least up to now. And I've actually thought I was 100% gay for a certain part of my life, before realising that I do have some attraction for some women. (It's more complex than this... If anyone wants me to expand, feel free to write to me in private).

This is what labels are: they are tools to simplify our lives and communicate faster. They are not meant to be 100% accurate: white wine is not white, it's yellow! There are a lot of different shades of yellow too... And yet the label "white" is enough in everyday communication, unless you're a wine connoisseur.

So yeah, I use both labels "gay" and "bisexual with preference for men" depending on the context, the depth of the conversation, the person I'm talking to, and so on. Just like one could say "I'm American" in one situation and "I'm 1/4 Cherokee, 1/3 German, half Filipino, my Nana is from Calabria and I can cook Pierogi" in another context.

So my thought process is, bisexual men that are more gay leaning but still feel attracted to women insist on calling themselves gay for some reason or the other whilst still actively seeking out and being with women. Not only that, they go to the lengths of shaming actual gay men for not wanting to be with women and calling them close-minded and using arguments like "you should just open your mind and try it" or "you haven't met the right woman". That, to me, is a form of conversion therapy, since gay men are being shamed and ridiculed for being sexually attracted solely to other men.

1) Those people should screw themselves
2) Thankfully I've personally never experienced this type of bigotry. Is it very common? Does it come in a certain circle of people, or is it pervasive?

 

[FrankieGuile]

Tell me where it said all bisexual people are liars. I’ll wait, but won’t hold my breath.

Tell me where I said it said "all bisexual people?" The omission of qualifiers in the statement that "...people aren't honest with themselves" makes it a blanket statement that does not require the word "all" to be understood. How is this for a retort: People are honest with themselves regarding their sexual identity. It's a more accurate statement than yours because it takes people at their word and does nothing to impose a narrative on them they might reject just because you think differently from them. Now you can exhale; but please, turn your head, in case you haven't brush your teeth in a while.

 

[chpoof]

I am bisexual. I am mostly attracted to men, I've always been with men or transgender men and only a couple times with non-binary people. Romantically, I fall in love with men, but I could fall in love with someone who is non-binary or trans. I doubt I could fall in love with a cis woman, but you never know. Sexually I do find some women attractive, and I could go into more detail about genital preference and so on.

This is my sexuality, and 4 lines of text were not enough to fully describe it. I am ready to tell the full story to people who are interested, and to my friends.
However, saying "gay" gives an 80% approximation of my sexuality, in just 3 letters. It also approximates my social sexuality better, as you'll see me do a lot of gay things like having sex with men, and you don't see me do bisexual stuff, at least up to now. And I've actually thought I was 100% gay for a certain part of my life, before realising that I do have some attraction for some women. (It's more complex than this... If anyone wants me to expand, feel free to write to me in private).

This is what labels are: they are tools to simplify our lives and communicate faster. They are not meant to be 100% accurate: white wine is not white, it's yellow! There are a lot of different shades of yellow too... And yet the label "white" is enough in everyday communication, unless you're a wine connoisseur.

So yeah, I use both labels "gay" and "bisexual with preference for men" depending on the context, the depth of the conversation, the person I'm talking to, and so on. Just like one could say "I'm American" in one situation and "I'm 1/4 Cherokee, 1/3 German, half Filipino, my Nana is from Calabria and I can cook Pierogi" in another context.

Thanks for your detailed explanation. This is why I think conversations like this are so important. I have far more respect for a person who chooses to label or describe himself in the way you do than someone who force fits a label to himself and contradicts it through his actions, or who changes the meaning of a label to suit his own purpose. "Mostly gay" or "bisexual with a preference for men" is pretty clear cut, and if anyone cares enough about you to want more information, they can ask.

One of the first guys I met during my early coming out days had just ended a long-term relationship with another man, and I remember him saying to me, "I'm attracted to women too, but my dominant attraction is to men." He never used a label to describe himself, but that told me pretty much everything I needed to know about him, at least in that conversation. He was a great guy too. Hate that I lost track of him over the years.

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

Great

Tell me where I said it said "all bisexual people?" The omission of qualifiers in the statement that "...people aren't honest with themselves" makes it a blanket statement that does not require the word "all" to be understood. How is this for a retort: People are honest with themselves regarding their sexual identity. It's a more accurate statement than yours because it takes people at their word and does nothing to impose a narrative on them they might reject just because you think differently from them. Now you can exhale; but please, turn your head, in case you haven't brush your teeth in a while.,

Great, you win! BRB, I must now apologize to all people, since I obviously called every human being dishonest. Because clearly that is what I meant. After all, it should be clear by the onslaught of people who are angry with me. I bow to your superior clarity.

 

[FrankieGuile]

Great

Great, you win! BRB, I must now apologize to all people, since I obviously called every human being dishonest. Because clearly that is what I meant. After all, it should be clear by the onslaught of people who are angry with me. I bow to your superior clarity.

No one asked for an apology but I'm glad you're repentant. Perhaps, in the future, you'll resist the temptation to project your sexual desires and preferences onto others.

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

No one asked for an apology but I'm glad you're repentant. Perhaps, in the future, you'll resist the temptation to project your sexual desires and preferences onto others.

What in the everlovibg fuck are you talking about? I’m projecting exactly zero sexual desires of mine. Not sure where you got that from, or if you’re just looking to argue for some reason. Nor am I “ “projecting preferences” onto anyone. If anything, I was promoting people be more accurate/honest in their preferences so they can better fulfill their wants and needs. It was a great thread to start.

The only person that seems to have any issue with my comments is you. Not everyone agrees with me, and that’s more than ok. It’s why I wrote anything, for different opinions and perspectives. But no one else has taken anything I, or anyone for that matter, as poorly as you. This thread was educational and eye opening and hopefully resourceful for people. I hope that for the sake of the OP it gets back on track and remains as useful as it started.

 

[FrankieGuile]

What in the everlovibg fuck are you talking about? I’m projecting exactly zero sexual desires of mine. Not sure where you got that from, or if you’re just looking to argue for some reason. Nor am I “ “projecting preferences” onto anyone. If anything, I was promoting people be more accurate/honest in their preferences so they can better fulfill their wants and needs. It was a great thread to start.

The only person that seems to have any issue with my comments is you. Not everyone agrees with me, and that’s more than ok. It’s why I wrote anything, for different opinions and perspectives. But no one else has taken anything I, or anyone for that matter, as poorly as you. This thread was educational and eye opening and hopefully resourceful for people. I hope that for the sake of the OP it gets back on track and remains as useful as it started.

I found nothing educational or eye opening in the thread. Mostly, it's just a rehash of the same, tired narratives from those not embracing their sexuality or questioning the sexual preferences of men who identify as straight. I am specifically excluding the posts from those who embrace who they are without trying to claim others are secretly not who they are, or falsely claiming their sexuality is preferred in greater numbers than is supported by data.

 

[15153321]

I found nothing educational or eye opening in the thread. Mostly, it's just a rehash of the same, tired narratives from those not embracing their sexuality or questioning the sexual preferences of men who identify as straight. I am specifically excluding the posts from those who embrace who they are without trying to claim others are secretly not who they are, or falsely claiming their sexuality is preferred in greater numbers than is supported by data.

Bruh, if you don't find anything educational about this thread, why are you still here?
I ask you again, do you not have anything better to do with your life then to come online specifically looking for a fight?
Everyone here was having a civil conversation, sharing different points of view on a specific subject.
You came in, guns ablaze, purposefully misinterpreting what ppl are saying, acting like an entitled prick and calling out ppl for something they quite literally did not do.
Just go away!

 

[FrankieGuile]

Bruh, if you don't find anything educational about this thread, why are you still here?
I ask you again, do you not have anything better to do with your life then to come online specifically looking for a fight?
Everyone here was having a civil conversation, sharing different points of view on a specific subject.
You came in, guns ablaze, purposefully misinterpreting what ppl are saying, acting like an entitled prick and calling out ppl for something they quite literally did not do.
Just go away!

I am here to point out the pretense, presumption and preposterousness of some of the posts. That's why I'm here...bruh.

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

I am here to point out the pretense, presumption and preposterousness of some of the posts. That's why I'm here...bruh.

Have you not noticed the high level of civility on all posts, with the combative exception of yours? Self awareness is a great life tool. This thread is fun and informative and contains multiple viewpoints, all of which are valid. Either calm the fuck down and stop being so combative, or leave the thread alone and leave it for those who want to learn and have positive discourse. OP deserves this thread to not get dragged through hell and back. I’ll gladly leave this thread if it means you’ll stop poisoning it.

 

[skizzage]

I keep hearing about these gay men calling other gay men bigots for not sleeping with women but I’ve never actually seen any proof that this is some widespread thing.

Is this actually happening or is it just paranoia? Can someone show me somewhere (not on fucking Twitter) where this actually happened? It just seems like a VERY online experience.

 

[15153321]

I keep hearing about these gay men calling other gay men bigots for not sleeping with women but I’ve never actually seen any proof that this is some widespread thing.

Is this actually happening or is it just paranoia? Can someone show me somewhere (not on fucking Twitter) where this actually happened? It just seems like a VERY online experience.

To be fair, most of cases I've witness of that have happened on twitter and reddit.
That doesn't make it any less valid, as a lot of times, what happens online bleeds into real life.
You can believe in whatever you want though!

 

[skizzage]

Thanks. I figured it was just Twitter induced hysteria and not something that’s actually happening to real people in any significant number.

 

[15153321]

Thanks. I figured it was just Twitter induced hysteria and not something that’s actually happening to real people in any significant number.

Just because it happens mainly on twitter, doesn't mean it doesn't happen in real life.
But hey, you clearly don't agree with what is being said here, so that's fine. Continue with your day and I'll continue with mine

 

[FrankieGuile]

Have you not noticed the high level of civility on all posts, with the combative exception of yours? Self awareness is a great life tool. This thread is fun and informative and contains multiple viewpoints, all of which are valid. Either calm the fuck down and stop being so combative, or leave the thread alone and leave it for those who want to learn and have positive discourse. OP deserves this thread to not get dragged through hell and back. I’ll gladly leave this thread if it means you’ll stop poisoning it.

You have your opinion but not the power to tell me what to say or how to say it. You are also not the arbiter of what is civil. To that point, I use no profanity, which is very unlike many other posters. My contributions are valid, no matter you object to them, and I'll continue making them.

 

[MisterB]

MODERATOR NOTICE​

Enough with the off topic back and forth between a few Members here that's gotten personal.

Any more such content will be removed and offending Members will be thread banned.

Now let's please get this thread back on track to the topic.

Thanks
B

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

MODERATOR NOTICE​

Enough with the off topic back and forth between a few Members here that's gotten personal.

Any more such content will be removed and offending Members will be thread banned.

Now let's please get this thread back on track to the topic.

Thanks
B

Thank you, and apologies for not knowing when to shut up earlier.

 

[zabakingboy]

OR...stop labeling people. Easy.

 

[15153321]

OR...stop labeling people. Easy.

Oh, yes, that would resolve every problem.