I feel like we are in urgent need of understanding what bisexuality is.

[Alex57]

I agree with you but others who feel similarly may not agree with your pegging not being a gay act. Nor do they allow someone a chance to explore their sexuality.

You even said it yourself, if a guy has a desire to so something sexual with a man, even if he doesnt act on it, he is bisexual. Trying to figure your sexuality means there's a desire and even if not acting on it, he is no longer straight. He is bisexual and needs to label himself accordingly.

Also apologies if I ever say YOU ____ i really mean "people who tend to be really invested in proper sexuality labels in general" and not personally you or anyone in this topic. Ive just read up on and spoken with many people over the years on such a thing.

I feel it is great to have people introspect and maybe even fully accept theur true bisexuality but I really think its the stigma assumptions from other people that makes them avoid it. Their life is vastly more convenient just saying they are straight. It may not be entirely honest and I dont condone it but I can understand it. Women will not mess with bisexual men so they will deny forever to keep being able to have a chance to be with them

It is very deceptive to lie to women about you sexual orientation. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you if they knew the real you? The stigma against bisexuals are created by bisexuals perpetuating these stereotypes. I find it very disturbing because I always see a pattern where bisexuals never take accountability for their actions or call out each other on these deceptive behaviour. If bisexuals want to change the narrative, the power is in their hands. They not only need to stop being deceptive to women but homosexual men also. I’m now seeing even more gay men avoiding bi men because of bad experiences with them.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

It is very deceptive to lie to women about you sexual orientation. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you if they knew the real you? The stigma against bisexuals are created by bisexuals perpetuating these stereotypes. I find it very disturbing because I always see a pattern where bisexuals never take accountability for their actions or call out each other on these deceptive behaviour. If bisexuals want to change the narrative, the power is in their hands. They not only need to stop being deceptive to women but homosexual men also. I’m now seeing even more gay men avoiding bi men because of bad experiences with them.

Yep that's true. However assuming all bi men are like the ones you hear of in a negative light is literally discrimination and bigotry so be wary! Also you have to remember that bisexuality is a spectrum for HUMAN sexuality not just men. So to vilify bisexuals based on the *bad bisexual MEN* only, id also very unfair.

All I ask is to self reflect and be mindful of accidentally being bigoted, even if it feels justified. Remember, just about every bigoted person never felt they were bigoted; or that they felt that their bigotry was justified in their eyes.

 

[WilliamG]

So here's my opinion: If a man has a female partner and has some form of sex (hand job, oral, anal...) with another man while with his straight partner. And she does not know about it... He is a cheater. That is the crux of this issue no? That's the elephant in the room. I would add this to the guys that get online and stroke with other guys if the partner is not aware of it. That is still cheating no? So because of this truth, many like to say "bi-curious" "mostly straight", or a host of other names. It's tough to admit one is not being truthful. I know it is for me. Sexual behavior ebbs and flows in ones life. I know mine has. So yes, I am a cheating bisexual because of my actions. And this is a forum about sexuality. Cheating is a separate issue. Yes, a large number of bi folks are in straight relationships and cheating with men. But that does not mean we don't have opinions about our sexuality does it?

But this all said, if you remove the cheating aspect of it... I believe there are various flavors of bisexuality regardless of the infidelity aspect.

 

[FrankieGuile]

So here's my opinion: If a man has a female partner and has some form of sex (hand job, oral, anal...) with another man while with his straight partner. And she does not know about it... He is a cheater. That is the crux of this issue no? That's the elephant in the room. I would add this to the guys that get online and stroke with other guys if the partner is not aware of it. That is still cheating no? So because of this truth, many like to say "bi-curious" "mostly straight", or a host of other names. It's tough to admit one is not being truthful. I know it is for me. Sexual behavior ebbs and flows in ones life. I know mine has. So yes, I am a cheating bisexual because of my actions. And this is a forum about sexuality. Cheating is a separate issue. Yes, a large number of bi folks are in straight relationships and cheating with men. But that does not mean we don't have opinions about our sexuality does it?

But this all said, if you remove the cheating aspect of it... I believe there are various flavors of bisexuality regardless of the infidelity aspect.

You had me until your last line. There is one "flavor" of bisexuality and that is the one where you engage in sexual relations with women and men.

 

[Alex57]

Yep that's true. However assuming all bi men are like the ones you hear of in a negative light is literally discrimination and bigotry so be wary! Also you have to remember that bisexuality is a spectrum for HUMAN sexuality not just men. So to vilify bisexuals based on the *bad bisexual MEN* only, id also very unfair.

All I ask is to self reflect and be mindful of accidentally being bigoted, even if it feels justified. Remember, just about every bigoted person never felt they were bigoted; or that they felt that their bigotry was justified in their eyes.

Calling out the bad behaviours in any group isn’t bigoted. This nonsense is getting tiring. I also call out gay men when they do shitty things. Instead of getting offended, why not try to work on changing bad behaviours and not cuddle them.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

Calling out the bad behaviours in any group isn’t bigoted. This nonsense is getting tiring. I also call out gay men when they do shitty things. Instead of getting offended, why not try to work on changing bad behaviours and not cuddle them.

Hmm... I'm not offended in the least. And I never said you DON'T do those things. Just saying to be wary. It seems you're a being a bit sensitive at a neutral point being made...

 

[ILoveGames48]

In these past couple of years I've been seeing more and more people misunderstanding the label of bisexual and other sexual/romantic iterations.

Thread after thread, post after post, tweet after tweet of "gay" men saying they find a specific thing about women sexually attractive, or a specific sexual act with women to be enticing or even desirable. The same thing with "straight" men feeling the same thing about men.

I feel that these ppl say stuff like this because they truly don't understand what being bisexual means.

They think that a bisexual person must be 50% attracted to men and 50% attracted to women and because they mostly feel attracted to one of the sexes (gender?), they choose to identify with one of the more known sexual orientations (Gay/Straight) even though they don't belong in them.

Bisexual ppl can be 99% attracted to men or women and still be bi. There are also different romantic iterations like homoromantic/heteromantic that people are simply not aware of.

This leads to a bunch of bisexual men pushing the narrative that, for example, gay men can be find women sexually attractive and still "remain" gay. Or the same with str8 men.

We should urge ppl to better research sexual and romantic orientations, I think it's very important.

Doesn’t have to be 50 50 .. I am 80 20 .. like men more but still makes me bi because I still interested and have sex with women ..

Trying to put a percentage on that is like a guy saying he is 99 percent straight 1 percent gay.. the only thing people see is the gay part and say he is gay ..

 

[Call_Me_Dave]

Doesn’t have to be 50 50 .. I am 80 20 .. like men more but still makes me bi because I still interested and have sex with women ..

Trying to put a percentage on that is like a guy saying he is 99 percent straight 1 percent gay.. the only thing people see is the gay part and say he is gay ..

This is why I think using the proper term of bi is important. If people just use the incorrect label/word/term, people are more and more likely to be a “closet bi” and miss opportunities due to mislabeling. The more people properly call themselves bi, the more the term will be normalized and hopefully whatever stigma attached to it will wane. At least, one would hope.

 

[WilliamG]

You had me until your last line. There is one "flavor" of bisexuality and that is the one where you engage in sexual relations with women and men.

Then dude... You have never hooked up with another bi guy! There are those that only give and or receive. There are some that do anal. Some that don't. Some like to kiss. Some that only stroke with other guys. Sure we are all BI. But if you use that simple pretense on a meetup (have you ever had one?) you or he might be quite disappointed. That is why we have sub classes (to use a simple term). Geez man... I just don't get your point of this. Move on with your life about what we call ourselves.

 

[FrankieGuile]

Then dude... You have never hooked up with another bi guy! There are those that only give and or receive. There are some that do anal. Some that don't. Some like to kiss. Some that only stroke with other guys. Sure we are all BI. But if you use that simple pretense on a meetup (have you ever had one?) you or he might be quite disappointed. That is why we have sub classes (to use a simple term). Geez man... I just don't get your point of this. Move on with your life about what we call ourselves.

I think all of what you describe is covered by engaging in sexual relations with women and men. I'm not sure if you're trying to counter my point or reinforce it.

 

[WilliamG]

I think all of what you describe is covered by engaging in sexual relations with women and men. I'm not sure if you're trying to counter my point or reinforce it.

You answered NONE of my questions in my comment. I'm done.

 

[FrankieGuile]

You answered NONE of my questions in my comment. I'm done.

If you had used question marks and asked questions, rather than making statements bordering on tirade, I would have addressed them.

 

[malakos]

Well, there is a question of significant and negligible levels of interest/attraction.

If a predominantly homosexual man, for example, found some women mildly sexually intriguing, but not to the point that this ever expressed outwardly in his sex life, nor did it become a pervasive feature of his inner life (his thoughts), then there really would be no use in him identifying as "Bi" rather than "Gay", even if on the degrees of sexual orientation model it might be true that he's 99/1.

Someone identifying / being identified as bisexual makes sense only if it is found that he has a pervasive pattern of some significant sexual interest in both sexes.

 

[15153321]

Well, there is a question of significant and negligible levels of interest/attraction.

If a predominantly homosexual man, for example, found some women mildly sexually intriguing, but not to the point that this ever expressed outwardly in his sex life, nor did it become a pervasive feature of his inner life (his thoughts), then there really would be no use in him identifying as "Bi" rather than "Gay", even if on the degrees of sexual orientation model it might be true that he's 99/1.

Someone identifying / being identified as bisexual makes sense only if it is found that he has a pervasive pattern of some significant sexual interest in both sexes.

Yeah, exactly, and I think most ppl on this thread would agree with you. That's not contested.

 

[chpoof]

Yeah, exactly, and I think most ppl on this thread would agree with you. That's not contested.

Totally. Very well said by malakos.

 

[Jjsurp99]

I wonder if people actually argue this in real life

 

[Bringthekink79]

I don't how anyone could misunderstand. Especially, now, with the broad range of preferences. I am bi, but heavily lean to the gay side because I've had my fill of women playing head games. Most of the time (99.9%) of I can get off to the thinking about cocks. That last .1%, the thought of a woman can get me going, but, end up finishing to the thinking of cocks. Now, trans men. I've never been with one.

 

[malakos]

Yeah, exactly, and I think most ppl on this thread would agree with you. That's not contested.

So then what is lacking in our understanding of bisexuality? It seems like I gave a fairly straightforward account of how Straight, Gay, and Bi identities are differentiated, and you say most in this thread would agree with it.

 

[15153321]

So then what is lacking in our understanding of bisexuality? It seems like I gave a fairly straightforward account of how Straight, Gay, and Bi identities are differentiated, and you say most in this thread would agree with it.

I don't wanna come off as rude but, have you read the rest of the thread?
We've talked about this before.
Maybe I should've used a different title, though.

 

[Tight_End_SC]

I consider myself to be bi. There are times when I enjoy sexual intercourse with women. I also enjoy giving head to a few guys. There is only one man that I will bottom for. If I am watching porn, the scenes that get me off usually are those with male and females having sex. I don't dwell on it, just go with what I like. Call me what you want, I just know what I like.