I wanted an unfiltered glimpse into the male sexual psyche...

[Drifterwood]

Generalisations are usually wrong. Or was it right?

 

[AllieHeidi]

Generalisations are usually wrong. Or was it right?

It was.

 

[Drifterwood]

It was.

I spent twenty years being a bit of a man whore, and ten being a total slut. I would guess that half the women I was with who were under forty were cheating on someone and of those over forty, the vast majority. It’s a guess because it’s not really a topic of conversation in those situations.

I think you’d be quite surprised how similarly men and women behave when no one’s looking. The stats on men and women‘s sexual behaviour are converging. This isn’t because women have changed in the last thirty years of my adult life, but rather they are simply being more honest now.

 

[Evenflow618]

I spent twenty years being a bit of a man whore, and ten being a total slut. I would guess that half the women I was with who were under forty were cheating on someone and of those over forty, the vast majority. It’s a guess because it’s not really a topic of conversation in those situations.

I think you’d be quite surprised how similarly men and women behave when no one’s looking. The stats on men and women‘s sexual behaviour are converging. This isn’t because women have changed in the last thirty years of my adult life, but rather they are simply being more honest now.

Totally dude we are the same.

 

[AllieHeidi]

I spent twenty years being a bit of a man whore, and ten being a total slut. I would guess that half the women I was with who were under forty were cheating on someone and of those over forty, the vast majority. It’s a guess because it’s not really a topic of conversation in those situations.

I think you’d be quite surprised how similarly men and women behave when no one’s looking. The stats on men and women‘s sexual behaviour are converging. This isn’t because women have changed in the last thirty years of my adult life, but rather they are simply being more honest now.

Whatever.

 

[Drifterwood]

 

[AllieHeidi]

I'm not sure what the message is that you're trying to convey by linking a performance of this particular piece, but ok.

 

[Drifterwood]

I'm not sure what the message is that you're trying to convey by linking a performance of this particular piece, but ok.

Joy.

People used to find joy here rather than being a home for the bitter.

Incidentally, I’m not sure you can parallel gay and straight men’s sexuality, as indeed you don’t by your prejudice against bi men. So, this being a gay man’s website probably isn’t the best place for your science.

Thanks for your time, I’m leaving your thread in peace.

 

[AllieHeidi]

this being a gay man’s website

This is just a website about large penises. Gay men happen to frequent the site for that reason. But it is hardly a "gay man's site." There are men from all sexual orientations, here.

And I don't have prejudice against bi men or any men, for that matter. I just see that for what they are.

 

[AllieHeidi]

*I just see them for what they are.

 

[huguest]

My findings basically just confirmed what I already knew:

1. Most men are not capable of feeling love without engaging in sex, but they are capable of engaging in sex without feeling love.

2. Most men are willing to go without love as long as they are getting sex, but they are not willing to go without sex even if they are loved and actively receiving love from their partner.

3. Bisexual men should be avoided by women at all costs as they are the most likely to cheat compared to 100% straight men. They are more likely to cheat because they tend to seek sexual gratification like most men, and since men, in general, are easier to access for casual sex, they are more likely to cheat with men.

4. Remain alone and get cats. Lots and lots of cats.

Strangely, I do agree with your points, although the word "most men" is pejorative and do project your thought because you "already knew".
I find it, uncalled-for to just drop that on a site filled with men, surely provoking was you goal?!

Different brain chemistry for men and women, If sex is important for men and love (emotion) is important for women, it doesn't mean one is worst then the other, just that it not the same priority. Most important, it's not because we don't have the same priority that we can't consider the women side.

You could be as astounded to find the "deep psychic" of women in general. The way they use sex to get their goal, manipulate men for money and so on.

I'm not here to argue with you, just underline it's unclear if your goal is to just point out the bad side of the opposite sex to get your frustration out.

There is bad people men or women. I would be as much astounded if you could point out the good side too, since you did a deep dive in the male psychic.

Men do need to hear women point out their good side too if you want them to change. in a society where men are tagged as "bad" nothing good will come out of it.

 

[AllieHeidi]

Strangely, I do agree with your points

Cool.

Different brain chemistry for men and women, If sex is important for men and love (emotion) is important for women, it doesn't mean one is worst then the other, just that it not the same priority.

This is a very diplomatic way to explain an unfortunate and, frankly, rather tragic dichotomy. Well done.

it's unclear if your goal is to just point out the bad side of the opposite sex to get your frustration out.

I was genuinely curious and have always found men puzzling in this area. I wanted to better understand them. What I've seen on this site and numerous others has been mildly disappointing and only served to fuel an already jaded state of mind.

I would be as much astounded if you could point out the good side too, since you did a deep dive in the male psychic.

On any other issue such as work ethic and contributions to STEM fields, sure. On the issue of romantic partnerships, love, and emotional connection? I wish I could, man. Seriously.

Men do need to hear women point out their good side too if you want them to change. in a society where men are tagged as "bad" nothing good will come out of it.

I'm just some random woman on the internet with enough emotional baggage to fill a freight train who isn't even sexually attracted to men. My opinions about them are relative and hold very little weight in the grand scheme of things. Men will survive my bitter and inane little rants just fine, I assure you.

 

[dreambridger]

On this website you're only getting the data pool of males with an exhibitionist inclination, which doesn't represent all men. There are many out there that prefer modesty and wouldn't be comfortable in this community.

I think gay and bi men are more common on this site because they're generally more expressive about sexuality and more likely to have exhibitionist leanings.

 

[AllieHeidi]

On this website you're only getting the data pool of males with an exhibitionist inclination, which doesn't represent all men.

What I've seen on this site and numerous others has been mildly disappointing

The data pool isn't just from this website. That would just be bad science. There are several others. The biggest (and first) stop was Reddit.

This site was, honestly, my final stop.

Also, I am not referring to the exhibitionist content. I'm referring to their actual thoughts on relationships; specifically fidelity. And across the board, the unfiltered thoughts about that issue and personal anecdotes have been appalling. Especially the martyr/victim complex pattern I keep running into from self-professed adulterers. Open relationships and marriages are obviously not included.

 

[huguest]

Cool.




This is a very diplomatic way to explain an unfortunate and, frankly, rather tragic dichotomy. Well done.




I was genuinely curious and have always found men puzzling in this area. I wanted to better understand them. What I've seen on this site and numerous others has been mildly disappointing and only served to fuel an already jaded state of mind.



On any other issue such as work ethic and contributions to STEM fields, sure. On the issue of romantic partnerships, love, and emotional connection? I wish I could, man. Seriously.



I'm just some random woman on the internet with enough emotional baggage to fill a freight train who isn't even sexually attracted to men. My opinions about them are relative and hold very little weight in the grand scheme of things. Men will survive my bitter and inane little rants just fine, I assure you.

Well, I would say it's unfair and destructible to tag men as "bad" in a whole just because you got enough emotional baggage to fill a freight train. I been hurt by women's for years in a sexless marriage and manipulative relation and I stayed faithful. who say women are not as bad but in a different way.

You don't see me doing a vendetta on the forum. I invite you to get help, only when your be at peace with your male side that thing will change.

 

[dreambridger]

The data pool isn't just from this website. That would just be bad science. There are several others. The biggest (and first) stop was Reddit.

This site was, honestly, my final stop.

Also, I am not referring to the exhibitionist content. I'm referring to their actual thoughts on relationships; specifically fidelity. And across the board, the unfiltered thoughts about that issue and personal anecdotes have been appalling. Especially the martyr/victim complex pattern I keep running into from self-professed adulterers. Open relationships and marriages are obviously not included.

Reddit doesn't exactly include the best of humanity either, to put it lightly.

As someone else in the thread all ready stated there may be some confirmation bias, searching for examples to match how you all ready feel. I don't want to add to those ganging up on you about it, since there's plenty of that, though I understand why they are. Figure take a civil approach instead of bashing you for misandry right off the bat, though I do think it says something about culture that it's more socially acceptable to express these opinions about men than it is to express negativity about women.

anyway I should add I strongly think it is wrong to lie to your partner about anything including adultery, however I feel sympathetic towards men who may feel trapped in a marriage for circumstantial reasons like children and feel they might not have another option for satisfaction than cheating, and I'm especially sympathetic towards closeted bisexual men whose wives wouldn't accept them if they knew. That doesn't make cheating right of course, but it does make it understandable from my point view. I do think sexual dissatisfaction is a reason to end a relationship or at least bring up to your partner the possibility of opening up the relationship, and I think it's very important for couples to not be afraid or ashamed to have that conversation. I think boys are told right off the bat that their sex drive won't necessarily be understood by females, which influences them to live with more shame about it, which may make it harder for them to open up about their sexual feelings to their female partners and more likely to hide things. As you could guess from my set of opinions here that if it is true that men put far more emphasis on sexual happiness than women do, that doesn't make men terrible, just different. Open-mindedness and compassion about that may help you in future relationships.

Anyway take my thoughts as you will, hopefully you don't see me as a terrible person as I try not to be, i attempt to understand as many different perspectives as I can.

 

[Magnum10x2]

For whatever it's worth, I've found MANY (most) women to be slutty freaks in the bedroom but when in public, they have the ability to act classy and more dignified than most men. Guys like to brag and need their egos fed... women are a bit different on this one -- they don't seem to care about their egos.

As far as love is concerned, everyone wants love - regardless of gender or preference.

 

[seventiesdemon]

Some are imaginative, some are not, some explore, some don't, some care, some don't....there is no individual male Psyche.

 

[AllieHeidi]

Well, I would say it's unfair and destructible to tag men as "bad" in a whole just because you got enough emotional baggage to fill a freight train.

Please refer to a post where I specifically state that men are "bad." I don't ever recall making such a statement. I've merely insinuated that I understand male nature and due to my own nature and issues I, as an individual, am objectively incompatible with the male sex as a whole.

I feel sympathetic towards men who may feel trapped in a marriage for circumstantial reasons like children and feel they might not have another option for satisfaction than cheating, and I'm especially sympathetic towards closeted bisexual men whose wives wouldn't accept them if they knew.

I have no sympathy for cheaters of either sex. Men tend to cheat for sexual reasons, women tend to cheat for emotional reasons. Obviously, there are exceptions, but in general, this is usually how it works. If a man isn't getting enough sex, and he's a weak person, he will likely cheat. If a woman isn't getting enough attention or emotional support, if she's a weak person, she will cheat. I have sympathy for neither. Be an adult and just leave.

I've only been focusing on understanding the male perspective because I am not a male and have had enough of the female perspective on infidelity (female friends, acquaintances, family members, etc.) to last me a lifetime.

Regardless of what someone is missing, I don't sympathize with cheaters. I don't care how "trapped" they feel. Get a spine and leave the relationship.

hopefully you don't see me as a terrible person as I try not to be, i attempt to understand as many different perspectives as I can.

If you've never cheated on a partner, I don't think you're a bad person. If you have, I think you're a bad person. I don't care what the sex of the person is, if they've ever cheated, I think they're a bad person. Again, the focus is on males because I'm not male and have always had difficulty understanding males, relating/connecting to them, and wanted to better my understanding.

 

[AllieHeidi]

Some are imaginative, some are not, some explore, some don't, some care, some don't....there is no individual male Psyche.

Doesn't this technically mean there is an "individual male psyche?" Not to adopt the condescending Google search query tone but...

Did you mean there is no collective male psyche?