Interracial Relationships

[halcyondays]

because i think that is better to date somebody with whom you have many things in common, not only hobbies and music, but also traditions and culture and yes race plays a role in all of that.

I get that for you. But why do you say "everyone should stay with their own"?

my perspective is that is better for everybody if everyone stays with their own.

This sounds racist because you're no longer speaking for yourself and your individual preferences.

So I ask again. Why?

 

[4388301]

because i think that is better to date somebody with whom you have many things in common, not only hobbies and music, but also traditions and culture and yes race plays a role in all of that.

Given various circumstances surrounding my past, there are plenty of folk more in touch with the culture that my ethnic background is affiliated with than me. Also tons of people that speak the language for my ethnicity that are not the ethnic demographic I belong to. So. Uh. You are discriminating by race for yourself which is one thing but is worse in that you think/believe "is better for everybody if everyone stays with their own". Why is it better? Some ppl may not respect other person's culture sure, but it is not a blanket thing. If am interested in someone, is part of it to learn about them, their family, their culture, etc. Maybe that is not the norm, but do not think it is impossible to find either.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

No answer?

Again... Why is it better?? Make bigoted statements, expect to get called out.

I'm biracial. What the fuck of it?

 

[Mule]

mmmm, i think that i would be a little bit uncomfortable with somebody who doesn´t speak spanish. does that make sense?

I'm not asking you to tell me "why?" I was advising you to ask yourself "why?" You have to answer that in your own mind, without any social expectation so you can be honest with yourself.

If you find that your answer is discriminatory or demeaning, you can then work on fixing that. You don't have to prove anything to me. Just yourself, and then strive for self-improvement if it is necessary.

 

[emmyfan]

If that's your preference bruh and what floats your boat so be it, it's not racist to find a particular race sexually attractive and not others.

I'm white English but find all creeds and colours attractive, especially enjoy myself some sexy chocolate from time to time but that's just me.
Don't let anyone tell you what you should be sexually attracted to, it's your preference man.

Please don't say "enjoy myself some sexy chocolate from time to time." It is very degrading.

 

[Apolo1998]

I get that for you. But why do you say "everyone should stay with their own"?



This sounds racist because you're no longer speaking for yourself and your individual preferences.

So I ask again. Why?

because i thin

No answer?

Again... Why is it better?? Make bigoted statements, expect to get called out.

I'm biracial. What the fuck of it?

I don´t have a problem with other people having interracial relationships, so chill, all i´m saying is that i´m a little bit tired of people suggesting that i HAVE to be open to date someone from other race and if i´m not into that sort of thing then it means that i´m racist??

 

[halcyondays]

i HAVE to be open to date someone from other race and if i´m not into that sort of thing then it means that i´m racist??

Of course you don't HAVE to but it sounded racist when you said "It's better if everyone stays with their own."

You're free to have/express that opinion. What might be better is not speaking for everyone.

 

[Mike hung]

Please don't say "enjoy myself some sexy chocolate from time to time." It is very degrading.

All the women I fuck with endorse and actively encourage such terms of endearment and affection, far from, quite the opposite of finding it in any way degrading. Not one single woman has ever even hinted at such and actively use terms in reference to myself such as their 'White King', should I find that offensive bruh? Because I don't!

 

[Apolo1998]

Of course you don't HAVE to but it sounded racist when you said "It's better if everyone stays with their own."

You're free to have/express that opinion. What might be better is not speaking for everyone.

you´re right, thank you

 

[EquusAZ]

The very nature of this topic brings up anxiety in people as already seen. Why? Because it's making us look at a topic that is uncomfortable, racism. If you have any reason why you should or should not be with someone based on race or skin color, then it is a racist reason. People are more than their skin color or where they come from.

White people (talking to my fellow whites here) have a tendency to post "is it racist" threads because they are all about proving that they are not racist. The pure fact of the matter is that if you are white, and born into a country that benefited from slavery, and where non-white people struggle against racism, then you are indeed a racist. Its not that you intentionally went out to become one one, its because society, or in this case your habitus, made you one. You were brought up in a 'white is better' culture. Look around you, at TV, adds on the internet, the neighborhood you live in, who your close friends are (white vs black), your family and their ideals (regardless if you identify with them). More than likely this habitus of yours is more than 50% white. And those white people are usually the ones in positions of power, of financial superiority, and have a say in what gets printed, who gets the job, and hands out the grades. People tend to be what their society molds them into.

Sure, there are a lot of people out there who choose to be racist and spout our white "superiority" but I'm not talking about them. Those racists are easy to spot. That's another issue. Active VS passive racism. I'm not talking about them.

No - I'm talking about people like ME. I don't intend to be racist, but society has made me one just like everyone else. If you think you aren't racist, you probably are, you just don't realize it. The only thing we can do is actively work to NOT be racist. Question why we do certain things, examine our own motives, and act against what we can rationally determine within our own minds to be our inherent biases to NOT be racist.

So if you are drawn to BBC, if you like BBW. If you are predisposed to click on the 'is it racist' threads only to defend your own racism then chances are you're just denying what inherently exists instead of working to correct the issue.

And that, my friends, is racism.

Robin DiAngelo: How 'white fragility' supports racism and how whites can stop it - CNN



I'm in an interracial relationship. These times are not easy, and they are very uncomfortable, and they are making us all (white people) reassess our biases. Just own up to them, and address them. Its hard, and it takes work. But you need to do it!

 

[Infernal]

The pure fact of the matter is that if you are white, and born into a country that benefited from slavery, and where non-white people struggle against racism, then you are indeed a racist.

So many of us are white and born in a country that benefitted from slavery where non-white people struggle against racism every single day, and without knowing us personally, our values, our personal histories, what we believe in and stand for, you have decided that we are ALL racists?

 

[EquusAZ]

So many of us are white and born in a country that benefitted from slavery where non-white people struggle against racism every single day, and without knowing us personally, our values, our personal histories, what we believe in and stand for, you have decided that we are ALL racists?

It isn't that I decided it by any means. Its a bias that affects us all. Some of us consciously and some of us unconsciously. We are shaped by the community and the society that we are born into. People who do not view themselves as racist, and who work to not be racist are actually working to suppress those inclinations and injustices. That doesn't mean those inclinations and attitudes have gone away, they are still burried inside the psyche. Only actively being aware of your own inclinations - however big or small is the way to combat this issue.

You are absolutely correct - I do not know you, or your values, histories etc. You could be a paragon for virtue and anti-racist policies. But it doesn't change the fact that there has been a bias within the society you were raised in for over 400 years and that it can have an effect on all of us.

Publications | Robin DiAngelo, PhD

 

[HorseHung40's]

That is a personal decision, and, is up to you. It is all a matter of physical attraction.

For those of you, who disagree with me, would you date a person who doesn't fit your definition of beauty? Likely not.

 

[Hatt_101]

Having a preference isn't racist. However saying, "that is better for everybody if everyone stays with their own", actually does veer into racism.

My opinion, since OP was just stating his..

Saying "people should stick to their own kind" or whatever the fuck is racist.

That's not him saying what he thinks is best for HIMSELF. It's him saying what he thinks of others when they are in an interracial relationship. He's judging others negatively based on their race, and personal choice. He's the fucking racist.

Pretty much this.
having a preference is fine everybody has them. But when you start saying what other people should do ya it sounds pretty racist and your friends shock is warranted

 

[Hatt_101]

because i think that is better to date somebody with whom you have many things in common, not only hobbies and music, but also traditions and culture and yes race plays a role in all of that.

From your name I'm guessing that you are born in 1998 you are a young person as well by your logic you should never have a relationship with someone older or younger than you since you're gonna have more in common with a person your own age.

You're from Chile so I don't know how things are over there but where I'm from, it is very multicultural so just because someone is a different ethnicity doesn't mean we don't have a lot of things in common. My group of friends are all different and we are friends because we have things in common that includes black brown, white and Asian.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

All the women I fuck with endorse and actively encourage such terms of endearment and affection, far from, quite the opposite of finding it in any way degrading. Not one single woman has ever even hinted at such and actively use terms in reference to myself such as their 'White King', should I find that offensive bruh? Because I don't!

Maybe use those phrases with those women then.

Plenty of people who are not those women do find that phrasing offensive as fuck.

 

[bigdickstripper]

.... people should choose what they feel is right for them and not waste time or energy bickering or publishing they're opinions on how other people choose for themselves.

Phrases like "people should stick to their own kind" implies there are other kinds than human kind and is, as a statement, interfering in a persons liberty to choose for themselves what they feel is appropriate.

Why the fuck should I have a strong opinion on if someone that is not me chooses this mate or that mate?

I just hope that people manage to make good choices that make them happy.

Iand.... interracial porn is damn hot!

 

[Infernal]

You are absolutely correct - I do not know you, or your values, histories etc. You could be a paragon for virtue and anti-racist policies. But it doesn't change the fact that there has been a bias within the society you were raised in for over 400 years and that it can have an effect on all of us.

I'm no paragon of virtue. I'm a flawed human being who works hard at checking his privilege, helping my fellow man, and trying to be the best version of myself that I can from one day to the next. I live my life by anti-racist policies that I try to enforce on myself and gently nudge others into following along. Sometimes that gently nudge has involved publicly taking my adult step-children to task for the words that come out of their mouth. Years ago I embarrassed my step-son in public for dropping the N-word. Recently I got a text from him letting me know he finally gets it. I'm trying, and that's all I can do.

 

[EquusAZ]

Years ago I embarrassed my step-son in public for dropping the N-word. Recently I got a text from him letting me know he finally gets it. I'm trying, and that's all I can do.

And that's what I'm talking about right there. This is something we all have to do! I doubt you raised him to be racist, but he engaged in that kind of activity - calling him on it is absolutely the right thing to do. Self-policing and policing each other, taking an active role and not being passive about it.

 

[Infernal]

And that's what I'm talking about right there. This is something we all have to do! I doubt you raised him to be racist, but he engaged in that kind of activity - calling him on it is absolutely the right thing to do. Self-policing and policing each other, taking an active role and not being passive about it.

He was an adult when I came along, so I had no hand in raising him. He's also a textbook definition of narcissistic personality disorder. Dealing with someone who can see no wrong in themselves, yet only wrong in others is a challenge. I blame a lot of it on his maternal grandfather. He always had something derogatory to say about someone and it was almost always related to their nationality. My husband also had an inappropriate sense of humor and didn't realize that he frequently crossed the line between being funny and offensively ignorant. Progress is a slow process, but I'm working on him too.