Is the first time supposed to be special?

[vers_twink]

Hey,

So I'm wondering how you guys first time was. Was it a hook up or someone special?

I'm still a virgin and kinda horny all the time so I'm wondering if I should just embrace the gay hookup culture and hook up. I'm honestly not sure if the 1st time is supposed to be special so I'm wondering what you guys would do if you could go back in time.

Now please do me a favour and don't tell me that it's supposed to be my decision since it's different for everybody.

 

[nomju]

Not special and a bit of a disaster. I couldn't even remember her name. Both legal age, she came onto me after a school social event. Both a bit drunk, back at my parents house. I couldn't get the damn thing inside her. She told me I was much bigger than her boyfriend and I was too big. I ended up with a hand and blow job, so probably didn't technically pop my cherry that day.
If I had my time over again I wouldn't wait for that special girl though.

 

[Mx.Hyde]

Hey,

So I'm wondering how you guys first time was. Was it a hook up or someone special?

I'm still a virgin and kinda horny all the time so I'm wondering if I should just embrace the gay hookup culture and hook up. I'm honestly not sure if the 1st time is supposed to be special so I'm wondering what you guys would do if you could go back in time.

Now please do me a favour and don't tell me that it's supposed to be my decision since it's different for everybody.

I'm in the exact situation as you, idk about you but I'm not even fully out yet so there's this factor too. My dick really wants to hook up with someone no strings attached to just get over with the whole first time thing, but my brain wants a gut I at least have kind of feelings for, wich for me is very rare. Idk if you can relate, you're not alone

 

[halcyondays]

I would not do anything differently if I could go back in time except have more condoms and lube on hand, lol... and we could have done more foreplay.

Wanting the first time to be special sets up unreasonably high expectations which are seldom met. Romantic novels, movies and other myths create these in the minds of many who are left feeling disappointed after. So does porn. Sex isn't porn. You're not watching. You're doing.

It's not going to be perfect especially if both partners are virgins but there are things you can do to help. I got hold of and read The Joy of Sex and The Joy of Gay Sex before hooking up first time. Yeah. I read sex manuals. Actual books. That's how old I am. Boomer.

I hooked up with a woman first so reading The Joy had opened my eyes to the difference between the male and female sexual response to which I had been oblivious. Several years later I hooked up with a guy for the first time. In both cases they asked me if I had ever done it before. When I said no they smiled and said don't worry I'll show you how. So yeah it helped that they were already experienced.

Be honest about it being your first time. Communicate. Before, during and after. Say what you like and don't like even if you're with someone more experienced than you are.

Don't be in a hurry. The first guy I fucked was a bottom. He hadn't had sex in a while and it took him some time to open to me--IOW he got on and off me a half dozen times before he was comfortable fucking continuously. I let him put me on my back so he controlled how much he took how fast. I didn't just jam it in him. I had condoms, he had lube and he had already douched before I got there.

BTW I didn't really like him, lol. We had just met a couple days before and I found him an irritating chatterbox who would not shut up. But he was a cute horny flirt offering me his twink ass and I couldn't resist. Lucky for me fucking him silenced the excessive chatter.

It wasn't special with him because we weren't boyfriends--just two guys who hooked up. At the same time it was special because it was my first time with a guy and he was a good teacher--open and intimate. I still appreciate that forty years later. Literally forty years ago last month.

 

[lbj15]

"Now please do me a favour and don't tell me that it's supposed to be my decision since it's different for everybody."

But this is the honest answer.

Look, I don't know that going to a gay club is the way to start out; I'd guess you'll have more luck on apps or sites w/r/t setting expectations and finding someone to "show you the ropes" as it were. My first time was actually relatively late in life, in a hotel room, planned in advance.

But if the Wal Mart hadn't closed just as I was walking in to buy condoms when I was 16 and my girlfriend said yes (but only once as it would turn out, that night), it would have been in the back seat of a 1973 Mercury Grand Marquis in an empty elementary school parking lot (note I did NOT have sex at 16, so this isn't a story of underage sex). And but for some, ahem, anxiety/whiskey dick it would have happened drunkenly at summer camp and I'd barely remember it.

I don't think subsequent sexual experiences would really be that different for me regardless of which path I'd gone down. The most memorable experiences I've had haven't been my first, or second, or really in my first few years of sexual activity.

So my advice is to find someone your comfortable with. It doesn't have to be "the one," but it should be someone respectful who won't leave you feeling down/uncomfortable/negative about the whole experience.

 

[Evenflow618]

No just let it happen, it gets better.

 

[vers_twink]

I'm in the exact situation as you, idk about you but I'm not even fully out yet so there's this factor too. My dick really wants to hook up with someone no strings attached to just get over with the whole first time thing, but my brain wants a gut I at least have kind of feelings for, wich for me is very rare. Idk if you can relate, you're not alone

Same as you my brain is kinda unsure about the whole thing but my dick definitely wants it. Idk but it's kinda nice to know I'm not alone

 

[chrisrobin]

Hey,

So I'm wondering how you guys first time was. Was it a hook up or someone special?

I'm still a virgin and kinda horny all the time so I'm wondering if I should just embrace the gay hookup culture and hook up. I'm honestly not sure if the 1st time is supposed to be special so I'm wondering what you guys would do if you could go back in time.

Now please do me a favour and don't tell me that it's supposed to be my decision since it's different for everybody.

Yep, it was a nice guy and yep it was special even if the first time he entered me it hurt, but he knew I was a virgin so took it slow, and stretched my hole so he could dive deeper. Once he'd cum he kept his cock in me, went a bit soft then got hard and really fucked me - this time the pain barrier was broken and it was amazing knowing his spunk was flooding inside, me,

 

[HungBtmVegas]

Hey,

So I'm wondering how you guys first time was. Was it a hook up or someone special?

I'm still a virgin and kinda horny all the time so I'm wondering if I should just embrace the gay hookup culture and hook up. I'm honestly not sure if the 1st time is supposed to be special so I'm wondering what you guys would do if you could go back in time.

Now please do me a favour and don't tell me that it's supposed to be my decision since it's different for everybody.

It was special for me because the first man I was ever attracted to and secretly in love with finally told me he wanted me back and we immediately started a sexual relationship, BUT in retrospect, I don't think losing your virginity needs to be "special".

 

[Funky_Tiime_]

Honestly that's what i thought but after a while of just fooling around with guys i decided to get to it with a guy last week and he took my virginity. I usually just had some quick fun before as in guys sucking me off or me sucking them off but that guy last week fucked me for the first time and honestly it was amazing. You just have to find the right person that a) suits your liking, for me i liked him because he was good looking, taller than me and was older (i'm 21 he's 39) and b) not pressure urself into the „The first time should be special“ like yes it was special cause it was the first time i got someone in me but nothing more.

 

[playklax01]

I'm a side, so sex to me is anything 'sexual' in nature, not just penetration. First time 'fooling around' with someone was in college. It was exciting, nervousing, and in the end, just terrible. Being kinda drunk didn't help. He was a nice guy, handsome, a friend of mine. But we both had no idea what we were doing and it showed... Second time was with my mom's friend's son, who I had a total crush on the first time I met him. We only knew each other for a short while. Goofing around one time, one thing led to another, and that time it was special. Just kissing him sent electricity through my body. We were young (19ish) and only lasted a short time together, but it was unforgettable.

So don't be disappointed if the first time isn't all you thought it would be, expectations tend to be high. It could be though, who knows. But it generally tends not to be. Don't worry about it though, it's very common.

 

[lapdog2001]

Hey,

So I'm wondering how you guys first time was. Was it a hook up or someone special?

In my case it was someone special, but it was a surprise. I knew her for about a year, was attracted to her (she knew that) but we were "just friends". We were hanging out, she was sleeping over on the couch (sh had done so before) but I gave here a kiss goodnight, and another, heard some moaning and she welcomed more kisses and thing progressed from there.

Was some of it awkward? Of course, since I was a virgin and she was not. She asked me if I was while relaxing in the after-glow, but the fact I was a virgin didn't disappoint her in any way. If anything, she now had a man who was very much willing to do things her way, to ensure her maximum pleasure, all while I got to be with a beautiful woman whom I really liked.

I'm still a virgin and kinda horny all the time so I'm wondering if I should just embrace the gay hookup culture and hook up. I'm honestly not sure if the 1st time is supposed to be special so I'm wondering what you guys would do if you could go back in time.

The cliche that "everyone is different" is true. Most people (straight, or gay, or anything else) usually regret that their first time was a hookup, while others are glad that they got that first time out of the way so they could now really enjoy whatever came next relationship wise.

If you aren't meeting anyone to date, then maybe a hookup might work for you. How about a friend or a friend? Maybe you can be introduced to someone you might like and let nature take its course?

 

[vers_twink]

In my case it was someone special, but it was a surprise. I knew her for about a year, was attracted to her (she knew that) but we were "just friends". We were hanging out, she was sleeping over on the couch (sh had done so before) but I gave here a kiss goodnight, and another, heard some moaning and she welcomed more kisses and thing progressed from there.

Was some of it awkward? Of course, since I was a virgin and she was not. She asked me if I was while relaxing in the after-glow, but the fact I was a virgin didn't disappoint her in any way. If anything, she now had a man who was very much willing to do things her way, to ensure her maximum pleasure, all while I got to be with a beautiful woman whom I really liked.

The cliche that "everyone is different" is true. Most people (straight, or gay, or anything else) usually regret that their first time was a hookup, while others are glad that they got that first time out of the way so they could now really enjoy whatever came next relationship wise.

If you aren't meeting anyone to date, then maybe a hookup might work for you. How about a friend or a friend? Maybe you can be introduced to someone you might like and let nature take its course

First of thanks for your response now the actual response. Of course there is one or two guys I like and find attractive, the only problem is I think they're str8 and also I think it would be awkward to ask them. Idk about hookups since I'm not sure if I'm gonna regret it or not.

 

[lapdog2001]

First of thanks for your response now the actual response. Of course there is one or two guys I like and find attractive, the only problem is I think they're str8 and also I think it would be awkward to ask them. Idk about hookups since I'm not sure if I'm gonna regret it or not.

If you are out (or they know you are gay), and you think they are straight, then do not pursue them in any way. Or, maybe ask them if they have any single gay friends. You might want to join a social club or be in a situation where you can increase your odds of meeting someone.

 

[stang02]

The pressure is immense. Honestly, I don't remember my first time. We were both virgins, I know it wasn't spectacular. I don't remember my first time with my second partner either. I know I wasn't great in either instance, but it was all practice. I know I'm better now, though. I get told I'm good. That's what matters. Be inexperienced, it's ok.