It's Shallow to Always Decline any Sexual Contact with Someone Who is HIV+?

[AlteredEgo]

I disagree. Functionally zero is not actually zero. To state otherwise is to lie. What are the odds of having sex with a person who is HIV pos if the two candidates are a person who sexually discriminates against those known to carry disease, practices safer tecniques correctly and every time, and submits to regular testing and chooses only partners who do the same, and whose most recent round of testing was all negative, or a person who definitely has tested positive for HIV at some point? With one candidate there is a small chance the virus is carried at all. With the other? 100% chance the virus is carried. Do you. Fuck all the HIV positive lovers you want. Mitigate risks how you see fit. But I'm less likely to co tract HIV from a partner where the virus isn't present in the first place, because zero is always smaller than negligible. Always. That's just math.

 

[TomCat84]

I disagree. Functionally zero is not actually zero. To state otherwise is to lie. What are the odds of having sex with a person who is HIV pos if the two candidates are a person who sexually discriminates against those known to carry disease, practices safer tecniques correctly and every time, and submits to regular testing and chooses only partners who do the same, and whose most recent round of testing was all negative, or a person who definitely has tested positive for HIV at some point? With one candidate there is a small chance the virus is carried at all. With the other? 100% chance the virus is carried. Do you. Fuck all the HIV positive lovers you want. Mitigate risks how you see fit. But I'm less likely to co tract HIV from a partner where the virus isn't present in the first place, because zero is always smaller than negligible. Always. That's just math.

NOTHING in life is risk free. Do you demand 100% safety and ZERO risk with anything else in life? That is what I mean by functionally zero. It brings it down to the level of risk of anything else in your life.

"With one candidate there is a small chance the virus is carried at all. With the other? 100% chance the virus is carried. "

And the small chance the other is carrying the virus can mean they are in the early stages of the infection where viral levels are sky high and so is your risk of sero converting.

"But I'm less likely to co tract HIV from a partner where the virus isn't present in the first place, because zero is always smaller than negligible. Always. That's just math."

Absolutely- but you placed a massive amount of qualifiers on your choice of sexual partners. My only qualifier is that the person is poz and undetectable. You have so many other conditions that must be met. That is the reason your choice isnt about science or facts.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Nothing is risk free. Correct. So you have to manage risk. My risk management strategy involves layers and redundancy. It does not leave room for having sexual contact with people who know for sure they have ANY sexually transmitable infections. You are beating a dead horse. I'm not going to change. I am the only person I know who has had as many partners as I have had without contracting anything. I asked if this type of discrimination struck folks here as shallow or not. Your answer is yes. And that is enough. The rest of this is tedious.

 

[ManchesterTom]

The highest demographic for new cases of Hiv is in Hetro women. Yeah your system may be working for you. . for now. . I hope it does. . I hope people do not lie to you, because having HIV is Not fun. Enjoy your fun and games posts. . enjoy your alter ego online, or whatever. . be safe, know your status.

Completely correct Mister Slave -

AIDS is a complete horror story where I live. It is not all that prevalent in the White community, but within the black community it is rampant. We have one of the heaviest infection rates in the world. Appx 50%.

Even with such frightening odds, people are as promiscuous as ever.

I have had the displeasure of having to translate a doctors diagnosis more than once to black people, and then monitor their ARV regimen.

Some of the people become affected mentally by the ARV medication. No one on this forum is mentioning personality changes, and other side effects of the medication.

No one is mentioning the accidental infection though people cutting themselves in the workplace. I have 2 HIV positive people whom I employ, and both of them have cut themselves or scraped themselves accidentally whilst working with tools. When this happens, I speak to the person who has been cut, and remind them to apply proper covering to the wound and also to disinfect their working area with bleach.

 

[someperson]

what if you had sex with people you thought were safe but were not?? hmmm?? people lie. .

you can get sued for damages (personal injury )if you don't tell the person maybe even jail time (in this state upto 8 years) as well...

 

[TomCat84]

Nothing is risk free. Correct. So you have to manage risk. My risk management strategy involves layers and redundancy. It does not leave room for having sexual contact with people who know for sure they have ANY sexually transmitable infections. You are beating a dead horse. I'm not going to change. I am the only person I know who has had as many partners as I have had without contracting anything. I asked if this type of discrimination struck folks here as shallow or not. Your answer is yes. And that is enough. The rest of this is tedious.

Your risk management sucks- you arent managing risk at all- which is why I said it is for your piece of mind only. Your available pool of partners includes people who are MORE likely to transmit something to you than the one whose HIV is under control. THAT is what you arent getting.

"I'm not going to change."

That is fine. I am not trying to get you to change. Im just trying to get you to see that you actually are not doing anything meaningful to reduce your risk. As long as you are honest with yourself, everything is cool.

" I am the only person I know who has had as many partners as I have had without contracting anything. "

That doesnt say anything about your strategy. It just means youve survived russian roulette longer than everyone else, assuming what youre saying is true.

"I asked if this type of discrimination struck folks here as shallow or not. Your answer is yes."

FALSE. I never said it was shallow. I think its quite clear I think your views are asinine and stupid.

 

[AlteredEgo]

You may continue to beat a dead horse all on your onsies. I do not agree with you, and am out of polite ways of saying so.

 

[TomCat84]

You may continue to beat a dead horse all on your onsies. I do not agree with you, and am out of polite ways of saying so.

It doesnt matter whether you agree with me or not. Whether you are doing any meaningful risk reduction or not is scientifically provable- it isnt just a matter of opinion.

 

[heirtothewind]

JEEZUS -- are all people just sex objects? We can all talk and be friendly, even to HIV people, without jumping into bed. I believe we are fast losing the art of conversation as well as the benefits of personal interaction to the acronyms of texting and other technologies.

No - it is not shallow to protect yourself from HIV. Yes- it is shallow to reject conversation with someone because of HIV, disability, or looks which do not meet your conception of ideal beauty.

 

[AlteredEgo]

JEEZUS -- are all people just sex objects? We can all talk and be friendly, even to HIV people, without jumping into bed. I believe we are fast losing the art of conversation as well as the benefits of personal interaction to the acronyms of texting and other technologies.

No - it is not shallow to protect yourself from HIV. Yes- it is shallow to reject conversation with someone because of HIV, disability, or looks which do not meet your conception of ideal beauty.

You're projecting and failed to read the entire thread. This thread isnt about friendship, though most of us agreed we could befriend, and even share physical acts of affection with friends of opposite status. This thread is only concerned, however, with choosing sexual partners.

 

[Sklar]

My boyfriend is HIV+ and I am not.

I used to feel the same way. That I could only be friends with someone who is HIV+ and not have sex with them.

Then, I met him and he rocked my world.

I educated myself on what it means when someone says the are HIV+ but undetectable.

Turns out I was letting fear and ignorance get in my way.

Am I advocating everyone run out and have sex protected or unprotected with someone who is HIV+?

Absolutely not.

It's a decision you have to make for yourself.

For me, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Sklar

 

[auspoz]

Brilliantly put^^^

 

[Devken]

This topic is disgusting... who the fuck do you think you are if you think you are entitled to have sex with someone who has very valid and very personal reasons to not have sex with you based on a deadly disease you're carrying.

You are not entitled to sex, people are however, entitled to decline you. They aren't shallow, you are for demanding that other people abandon their own judgment because you want to fuck them.

 

[sizefreak248]

We all have the right to choose with whom we have sex...true. How we go about it is also a choice. I see all kinds of posts on the net from guys looking for action with other guys where there are statements like "drug/disease free" and "clean, expect the same".
When did "clean" become synonymous with being HIVneg? In my book, clean simply means you've showered. Implying anything else is ridiculous. HIPpoz individuals are not dirty because of their status.

 

[ZingZong1987]

It's a tricky one... If you're hiv negative then of course you have to be careful/weary...condoms aren't 100% safe in preventing HIV transmission or unwanted pregnancy's or STD transmission! It must be very difficult for an hiv positive person to come to terms with his/her diagnosis in terms of the effect it will have on his/her sex life (and choice in sexual partners). So no I dont think its shallow I think its just being careful( but respectful to the HIV postive person's feelings).

 

[auspoz]

And despite sklar's brilliantly expressed perspective on stigma, the fuckwits return.

YES, Devken, it IS my right to have sex. And no: it is NOT your right to stigmatise me further.

Besides, sounds like you'd be a dud root and impersonal. That was fun in my 20s, but now: meh. Rather something more meaningful. Your fear comes from zero understanding. Ever rooted anyone? Then YOU may have been infected. Think about it. It could be YOU.

Actually, maybe you are HIV+ and you don't know.

I survived the shock of my positive diagnosis. Don't run to me if you get HIV. Oh, and if you fuck anyone it's entirely possible that you could.

 

[ZingZong1987]

It's a tricky one... If you're hiv negative then of course you have to be careful/weary...condoms aren't 100% safe in preventing HIV transmission or unwanted pregnancy's or STD transmission! It must be very difficult for an hiv positive person to come to terms with his/her diagnosis in terms of the effect it will have on his/her sex life (and choice in sexual partners). So no I dont think its shallow I think its just being careful( but respectful to the HIV postive person's feelings).

 

[Lord_of_Goon]

And despite sklar's brilliantly expressed perspective on stigma, the fuckwits return.

YES, Devken, it IS my right to have sex. And no: it is NOT your right to stigmatise me further.

Besides, sounds like you'd be a dud root and impersonal. That was fun in my 20s, but now: meh. Rather something more meaningful. Your fear comes from zero understanding. Ever rooted anyone? Then YOU may have been infected. Think about it. It could be YOU.

Actually, maybe you are HIV+ and you don't know.

I survived the shock of my positive diagnosis. Don't run to me if you get HIV. Oh, and if you fuck anyone it's entirely possible that you could.

Wow. There u go attacking again. Good for u.

 

[TomCat84]

Just like to point out I have said repeatedly in this thread that it is everybody's right to choose whoever they want to have sex with whenever and however (as long as there is consent). My only other point was to not pretend your reason for not fucking a poz guy is based on anything but your own peace of mind- the "ick" factor if you will. Like I said, if you refuse to have sex with a poz guy even if their infection is under control (i.e. undetectable and on meds), but you will have sex with neg guys as long as they say they are neg, your position is not grounded in scientific realities. Its not that youre shallow, its that youre ignorant. As long as you are honest- "I am not comfortable having sex with poz guys- then everything is kosher.

 

[AlteredEgo]

We all have the right to choose with whom we have sex...true. How we go about it is also a choice. I see all kinds of posts on the net from guys looking for action with other guys where there are statements like "drug/disease free" and "clean, expect the same".
When did "clean" become synonymous with being HIVneg? In my book, clean simply means you've showered. Implying anything else is ridiculous. HIPpoz individuals are not dirty because of their status.

Is that what is meant by "clean" in personal ads? Wow. I always thought it meant properly bathed. Color me naive. LOL Yeah, that's awful.

And despite sklar's brilliantly expressed perspective on stigma, the fuckwits return.

YES, Devken, it IS my right to have sex. And no: it is NOT your right to stigmatise me further.

Besides, sounds like you'd be a dud root and impersonal. That was fun in my 20s, but now: meh. Rather something more meaningful. Your fear comes from zero understanding. Ever rooted anyone? Then YOU may have been infected. Think about it. It could be YOU.

Actually, maybe you are HIV+ and you don't know.

I survived the shock of my positive diagnosis. Don't run to me if you get HIV. Oh, and if you fuck anyone it's entirely possible that you could.

Yes. You have the right to pursue sex. And, I hope you are lucky enough to receive sexual fulfillment. You do not have the right to receive sex, especially from any one particular person. No one does, irrespective of HIV status. Otherwise, putting your dick into someone who declined would not be rape. This is very basic.