My marriage isn’t exactly sexless but must be pretty close to any definition of a severely mismatched sex drive. Always has been. After years of reading the books and my own counseling (she point blank refuses marriage counseling) I feel I’ve done all the things I’m meant to do. Consider her, listen to her, make her feel safe and wanted, show her body respect, take the lead from her for what she wants sexually….. but I have discovered what she wants is a platonic marriage with a housemate rather than a lover. So, while my interest in men has always been there, it has in recent years escalated. Affairs with women seem like emotional cheating. But sex with a bloke is just getting off. Odd I should say that because I do have developed some great friendships with men I play with. It certainly breaks the ice and you do form close brotherly bonds and trust when you share dick. But the relationship is far more transactional.
my problem now is that if my wife found out - it would all be about me “being gay”. And not about the true issue, the fact that she has used sex throughout our relationship to manipulate. While we do (still) have hot sex when she deigns to grant me some, she can go long periods without needing it. Occasionally after you oi much champagne she lets herself go, but the sun and moon and all the planets of the universe have to be in alignment and I have to have not said any one of a thousand careless triggers during the last week…..
The chances of any calm and honest discussion about my bisexuality without it turning to - blame on me - are about as likely as me getting two fucks this month.