Why do older men become bi-curious

[223790]

Maybe what happens is when these men who have always found men attractive get older they just don’t care anymore

Also, it is more acceptable now than it ever was before. That’s the case where I live.

 

[Anime2]

Also, it is more acceptable now than it ever was before. That’s the case where I live.

Definitely not here in London. I think media gives the illusion that it is but it’s still very difficult for straight guys to explore there curiousities. So many straight are exploring it in secret and scared of being exposed. I think that’s why we have phases like bromance so that straight guys don’t feel judged while still having an affectionate relationship with a male friend

 

[manju]

We don't control whom we find sexually attractive. We only control whether or not to act upon it.

At some point despite everything and everyone telling you "NO!", you give in to pleasure and discover all the nay sayers were wrong.

 

[HorseHung40's]

I have had encounters with quite a few married men, who have said, "I wished that I had gone with a man sooner, but times and attitudes being what they were...."

From reading between the lines, I felt as if all of them were very repressed gay men, who only married to avoid being the victims of social stigma. By middle age, many had reached a point in their lives at which they refused to wait any longer to experience sex with another man. More than once, I heard, "I feel alive for the first time in a very long time."

 

[Acratopotes]

From reading between the lines, I felt as if all of them were very repressed gay men, who only married to avoid being the victims of social stigma. By middle age, many had reached a point in their lives at which they refused to wait any longer to experience sex with another man. More than once, I heard, "I feel alive for the first time in a very long time."

But if they really were gay, how did they maintain marriage to a woman at all, unless it was an unconsummated marriage of convenience? To have been able to function with a woman surely there must be some level of attraction to women, surely? But maybe it's about where, on the Kinsey scale, you draw the line between gay and bisexual. The kind of man you refer to may be a Kinsey 5?

 

[Anime2]

But if they really were gay, how did they maintain marriage to a woman at all, unless it was an unconsummated marriage of convenience? To have been able to function with a woman surely there must be some level of attraction to women, surely? But maybe it's about where, on the Kinsey scale, you draw the line between gay and bisexual. The kind of man you refer to may be a Kinsey 5?

Completely agree and this is where the problem lies. We don’t listen when a man talks about what he likes sexually. Society has decided that men are hyper sexual beings that are always on heat and love women finish. Anything outside of that you must be gay. If a man isn’t that sexual active he’s gay, if a guy isn’t seen to have girls around him he’s gay when in actual fact there’s a strong chance he’s shy and intimidated by girls, he likes ass play with his girlfriend oh why does he like that he must be gay. So when a guy loves women but likes male bonding of any kind yep he’s gay he’s been hiding it deep down when that’s not the case at all. We need to give men the room to breath and just be

 

[Cappy_Dick]

I've found that many older men who become bisexual, do so because so many older women loose interest in sex. Not because they were a life long closeted gay. The formula is pretty simple. A guy needs his cock sucked. Women his age have either lost interest, or use sex as a manipulation. they start to think that letting a guy do it wouldn't be so bad and returning the favor wouldn't be so bad to perpetuate the exchange. Most actually find after trying it that they enjoy giving as much as they do getting. These guys aren't interested in more than a friendship with secret head swapping. They aren't looking for a relationship. They aren't interested in anal sex. Just a I'll suck yours if you suck mine situation. Most of these guys either had no prior interest with guys, or may have had a buddy they did the same thing with when young and weren't getting any pussy. Many guys had buddy play when young, but largely forgot about it when they started getting pussy on a regular basis, When the pussy supply as older men starts getting few and far between, what they had done many years ago, or what they knew some of their buddies did starts sounding very appealing. It's like a lesbian friend of mine once said: A hand is a hand and a mouth is a mouth. Friends helping each other cum is just sex. It has nothing to do with being straight or gay.. We need less labels and more understating in the world,

xx

 

[223790]

But if they really were gay, how did they maintain marriage to a woman at all, unless it was an unconsummated marriage of convenience? To have been able to function with a woman surely there must be some level of attraction to women, surely? But maybe it's about where, on the Kinsey scale, you draw the line between gay and bisexual. The kind of man you refer to may be a Kinsey 5?

In my experience, I can't say that I'm really gay, I'm just bi-curious as the title states. I still get turned on by and attracted to women, so I'm still interested in having sex with them. I still look at a hot woman's figure, ass and tits and like what I see. I also like what I see when I see a hot guy naked or clothed. Their physique, ass and cock (if I'm lucky enough to see it) are also a turn on for me. I've never actually had sex with another guy, but if the opportunity presented itself, I would be interested. It would have to be a guy I'm really attracted to though, not just any guy. There is one guy in particular that I'm totally hot for now. I've been lucky enough to be naked with him in a non-sexual way more times than I can count in the gym locker room and open shower. Would I want to upend my entire life and be exclusively with men though? Not really. I could try sex with a guy only to find out that I don't really enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I also like the qualities that are exclusive to women.

 

[HorseHung40's]

But if they really were gay, how did they maintain marriage to a woman at all, unless it was an unconsummated marriage of convenience? To have been able to function with a woman surely there must be some level of attraction to women, surely? But maybe it's about where, on the Kinsey scale, you draw the line between gay and bisexual. The kind of man you refer to may be a Kinsey 5?

I never got into such discussions with them. That is truly up to them. Maybe this is a question that you want to post on here.

 

[slowsucknj]

We don't control whom we find sexually attractive. We only control whether or not to act upon it.

At some point despite everything and everyone telling you "NO!", you give in to pleasure and discover all the nay sayers were wrong.

Perhaps the best analogy, you nailed it Manju. Short and to the point. IMO

 

[mineaminea]

But if they really were gay, how did they maintain marriage to a woman at all, unless it was an unconsummated marriage of convenience? To have been able to function with a woman surely there must be some level of attraction to women, surely? But maybe it's about where, on the Kinsey scale, you draw the line between gay and bisexual. The kind of man you refer to may be a Kinsey 5?

Because they fantasized about being with men. Sexual behavior does not necessarily equate to sexual attraction. There are plenty of men who have known they were exclusively attracted to men, but had the capacity to function with women while fantasizing about the same sex. It is similar to a heterosexual man who is not attracted to a specific woman, but he fantasizes about having sex with the women he finds attractive.

There are truly gay men who are not exclusively gay, but some degree of bisexual, who have been in long term relationships with women. However, there are men who are gay, but could perform with women when necessary.

 

[Jeff Martin]

My Bi attraction happened by accident.......I was getting leg cramps in my thighs and longing for a relaxing massage, not sexual but preferred to not be clothed so the massage lady could see what she was doing.......but I discovered a lot of women are uncomfortable with men's bodies ( or just don't like men ) and the massage was very insincere and unenthusiastic.......saw a massage ad online by what appeared to be an asian male sex worker....did not want sex, but thought he's a man, so he will not be uncomfortable with my body....WOW, what a revelation !...so relaxing, from the very first moment when we undressed, no shame, no worry about them disapproving of our maleness......got a million $ massage for just $100.......enjoyed it so much I thanked him by sucking on him....he was my size, it was like sucking on myself, and so relaxing for both of us....I will never choose a female massage again !

 

[mako shark]

Guys get older and they still remain horny. Women get older and start to "forget" about us so we go looking... I'm not sure it matters whose hand or mouth is around our dick but.... for some like myself we just don't aren't attracted to a guy and prefer the opposite sex for intercourse but they get harder to find as we get older!

 

[deleted1292188]

I Think because they discover the beauty for the body without any difference between women or men

 

[brandon38]

It true the older I get the more think about men how beautiful they are I just want try one time see I would like it but probably want happen but guess more of fantasy than anything.

 

[Bittydrew]

It true the older I get the more think about men how beautiful they are I just want try one time see I would like it but probably want happen but guess more of fantasy than anything.

Know what I say the heck with the stupid rules having sex with a man is beautiful with the right partner and no shame in it go for it....

 

[ScubaSkier]

I have known I am bi as long as I can remember but as I grew older I find the desires keep getting stronger. I tend to think that part of it is boredom of hetro sex, that and we have stared at our own cock all our lives, maybe we want to get to know another mans cock in a way we have never been able to with our own.

This is a great thread. I can relate very personally to many of these stories. There were strong prohibitions implanted in me as a young man (I'm in my late 60's now). As I realized that I was sexually interested in men much more than women, I wondered why I was different. I prayed and prayed but of course nothing happened except tears. I did have a friend that would occasionally JO with me. I loved it and could have gone 2x to his 1 due to the excitement. I did like girls though, and was really excited by them. It took a girl grabbing my hard cock that I finally got the courage to move to full on sex and wow what fun. I did marry twice, and the sex (especially with the second woman) was great. The gay feelings were always there though, and I used porn to get off. It wasn't cool though when these beat-off mags were found in my tax files (why was she going through my tax files?). That was a bad night and we eventually decided to split. Although she was mad (this is wife #1) and had a really strong temper, it was OK since I was gay. She was a decorator and had many gay friends. But when I found another woman and had a really great passionate affair with her, wife #1 went nuts with anger. We're not cordial now. The second lady and I had a very strong sexual relationship. We eloped and immediately got pregnant. We did as any couple in love - we screwed at every opportunity. These feelings eclipsed all others. The blaze of passion did calm down; they all do I believe. I started to think of guys again, and found the gym. That was quite a fine outlet for me, and I got off regularly with other men there - most were in committed relationships male or female - and these acts were on the down-low. I was even invited by one of the guys I knew from church to join his group at the hunting lease. He assured me that I'd enjoy myself, and I'm sure I would have although doubted that much hunting actually occurred. I did go to the coast for a fishing trip with another guy and it was sex sex sex. We did fish, but the rest of the time we were very busy. Frankly, I was exhausted when I left. So I did therapy and men's groups along with couples counseling. At no time did anyone question my sexuality. They supported my journey towards acceptance. The marriage ended and eventually we became close friends. We parented two children and it has turned out pretty well; they're both independent and have themselves had therapy - a good thing.

Along the way I found massage. Not only did that keep me sane and help provide regular touch and usually a release, it kept me limber. I also met some fine men that way along with a few real nuts. It's been fun to reminisce about some of these experiences and I've posted them here in other forums.

Everyone has their own journey and every journey is unique. I like to think that everybody cooks at their own speed. Asked "when did I know" I respond that at some level I always did. I just didn't want to think about it so I ignored it until I couldn't. In American society it's very hard to be "bi" so I identify as gay and only think of sex with women as a fantasy now. It seems that you have to pick a lane, and I wish that weren't the case but it is for those of my generation. There was so such thing as pansexual or sexual fluidity. If there had been, that option would have been nice.

I appreciate the sharing here.

 

[kcdave]

I resemble your remarks.

I have had encounters with quite a few married men, who have said, "I wished that I had gone with a man sooner, but times and attitudes being what they were...."

From reading between the lines, I felt as if all of them were very repressed gay men, who only married to avoid being the victims of social stigma. By middle age, many had reached a point in their lives at which they refused to wait any longer to experience sex with another man. More than once, I heard, "I feel alive for the first time in a very long time."

 

[Capitolhillguy]

I resemble your remarks.

I have done erotic massage for 35 years. Most of my clients were bi. We are talking thousands of men. The vast majority of them indicated that they didn't try bi sex till they were over 35 or 40. I think they become more accepting of parts of themselves that don't "fit" as they get older. I am somewhat bi and was married when I was very young. I am mostly gay now. Bi men appear to be less ageist than gay men. I had many more gay clients in my 30's.

 

[Richard Licks]

I didn't start with men until my early sixties. I still get enough sex from my wife but I've always had a fascination with cocks besides my own. When I was young I wouldn't dare fool around with men for fear of becoming homosexual. By the time I reached my 60's I was confident enough with my sexuality that I could explore other options. I joined Silverdaddies and posted a picture of my cock and balls. No face shots. LOL. I was amazed at the response. So I chose a man who lived within driving distance. We met for coffee, talked about a lot of things. After a couple of meetings I felt comfortable enough to go back to his house. His wife was working. He had retired. I sucked his cock, he sucked mine. I was inexperienced and probably didn't do a good job. He was very experienced. I have never been serviced the way he serviced me. I thought I'd feel guilty but I didn't. I don't feel guilty to this day. My only regret is that I didn't start earlier.

I to started late and regret it now. Now I think about all the dicks I could have sucked and asses I could have fucked, makes me sad.