Why do older men become bi-curious

[WilliamG]

I've given this some thought over time now...
When I was a young lad, I and many others equated sex with love. Right or wrong I think we'd all gone thru that phase. I remember one girl I was with telling me she "loved me" after she came. It felt awkward. I think I said something lame like "me too". It was our third time together. A few years later in my early twenties I was out with a much older woman. It was a bar meetup. We went to her place and fucked like rabbits. When I came for the last time in her, I blurted out "I love you!". What I meant was I loved the situation we were in at that moment and she was part of it. But she quickly responded with a laugh and said "honey, you don't love me, you love how we fuck."

Now when you love someone AND have great sex... That's the best. But as we go thru life, we have many extreme experiences that put others in perspective. We've had two couples who broke up because the spouse became a "golf widow". My wife and I were not in the best of shape for at least a decade while I was out whitewater kayaking rivers on the weekends. It was hard to include a non paddler on most of the trips. And I could not tell her some of the more dangerous aspects of some trips. The couples that paddled together stayed throughout the time I did it. Us with "kayaking widows" either broke up or reduced our paddling (I reduced my paddling).

Which brings us to the topic of guy meeting a guy... Sucking each others cocks... Then going home like you were at a friends watching football. I know this is not "right". It's not being honest. But it is to me how things evolve for many.

 

[deleted10500801]

A friend who is a psych told me years ago 'If you put a group of men on an island with no women after a while they'll all start fucking each other'. That's pretty much the truth IMO. Reproduction aside, sex for men primarily is about bonding and pleasure.

So men desiring or enjoying physical pleasure with other men, isn't 'bi-curious' - it's just how men connect with each other and it's not 'gay' either.

 

[bi2]

I've given this some thought over time now...
Which brings us to the topic of guy meeting a guy... Sucking each others cocks... Then going home like you were at a friends watching football. I know this is not "right". It's not being honest. But it is to me how things evolve for many.

MM sex is very uncomplicated, simple and easy. Youre totally right, when I get home/leave, its like it never happened, which I think helps making hooking up so much easier without emotional entanglement.

 

[deleted10500801]

MM sex is very uncomplicated, simple and easy. Youre totally right, when I get home/leave, its like it never happened, which I think helps making hooking up so much easier without emotional entanglement.

It can be that way with some women as well. It's referred to as a 'zipless fuck'. But whether these encounters between people of any gender are purely void of power play or emotions is questionable.

 

[LQC]

A friend who is a psych told me years ago 'If you put a group of men on an island with no women after a while they'll all start fucking each other'. That's pretty much the truth IMO. Reproduction aside, sex for men primarily is about bonding and pleasure.

So men desiring or enjoying physical pleasure with other men, isn't 'bi-curious' - it's just how men connect with each other and it's not 'gay' either.

Somebody who also gets it. I thought I was the only one. For males, sex is not about reproduction. It’s about getting off. Sexual arousal and excitement is an intense drug, that males have a naturally hardwired, genetically encoded addiction to. Nature made it that way for a reason. That for every time a male ejaculates his seed, hopefully at least some of those times will be in a pussy, so that reproduction can occur. There is no higher meaning to it than that. And the “bonding” (with other men) is really only, in my view, an effort to try to exponentially multiply the effects of said drug. I have more to say on the entire matter, but I’ll leave it at that.

 

[daftman]

A friend who is a psych told me years ago 'If you put a group of men on an island with no women after a while they'll all start fucking each other'. That's pretty much the truth IMO. Reproduction aside, sex for men primarily is about bonding and pleasure.

So men desiring or enjoying physical pleasure with other men, isn't 'bi-curious' - it's just how men connect with each other and it's not 'gay' either.

good observation!

 

[Cecil56]

I don't think it is getting more bi-curious, as it is feeling more brave and acting on your thoughts. The world is now opening up more and accepting bi stuff. I always had those "thoughts" of mutual penis play. My best friend used to take a bath and have me in their to talk while he bathed. I was always attracted to his cock and balls, just not the male standing in front of me and drying off.

Many times, I wanted to take his dick in my mouth. Never acted on that. One night his parents were gone and we had a sleep over. We got drunk and into bed. I finally reached over to play with his cock. At first, he resisted and said to stop the gay shit.

About my third reach over, he did not resist and was rock hard, Played with him a couple minutes, then went to reach inside, and he pulled down his undershorts to give me full access. Couple minutes later and he felt me up. Pulled mine down, he got some lube and we jerked each other off, until we both shot our loads.

It never happened again and we never mentioned it afterwards. if I could go back in time, It would have happened again!
Still regret that to this day.

 

[bi2]

I don't think it is getting more bi-curious, as it is feeling more brave and acting on your thoughts. The world is now opening up more and accepting bi stuff.

From my limited experience and with only older men who were with women most of their lives, I have found they needed and still wanted sex despite either being seperated/divorced/widowed or partner losing interest. They also want to keep their bi side private/hidden but also wanted the accessibility to a fuck-buddy without being judged. Given I am on the same wavelength of wanting to keep my bi desires hidden, it made hooking up with me an easy proposition without the emotional/drama concerns of being with a new woman.

 

[Perren1000]

I think it's less a matter of "becoming" bi-curious than it is facing and accepting the interests they've had all along but refused to acknowledge. Feelings they probably first noticed and locked away when they hit puberty (likely due to the stigma associated with same sex attraction and or family influence) but as they get older and feel more secure in who they are and their place in life those feelings free from the worry of youth resurface and they accept and/or act upon it. This is my personal opinion at any rate.

 

[CURIOUS_8]

I think it’s a bottled up desire that stays buried for too long and also what helps to bring it out is the problematic dilemma of meeting women and getting them to have sex.

Nowadays, older women want to feel young and they cater to a younger man who fulfills their own desires. They don’t view sex the same way men do. .

With a man, we are easy to find, cut through the bullshit and understand it’s just pleasure without attachment. We are able to switch into pleasure mode, then walk away and resume our normal lives.

I believe at an older age, men might view pleasure from sexual activity as simply as a task. They enjoy the task, but when they get horny, they just want to get off and move on. Other men help to accomplish this efficiently.

True that!

 

[CURIOUS_8]

Humans are sexually fluid and their desires and attractions change over time, nothing to do with human sexuality is ever linear.

Unless you can foretell exactly who you're going to be tomorrow, no one can ever be 100% certain who they'll find themselves attracted to.

That's why older men find themselves more bi-curious as they get older and the same thing happens with gay men.

Amazing

 

[Anime2]

A friend who is a psych told me years ago 'If you put a group of men on an island with no women after a while they'll all start fucking each other'. That's pretty much the truth IMO. Reproduction aside, sex for men primarily is about bonding and pleasure.

So men desiring or enjoying physical pleasure with other men, isn't 'bi-curious' - it's just how men connect with each other and it's not 'gay' either.

Hahahahaha I’m laughing because no word of a lie I’ve been saying this recently. I’m curious haven’t had an experience with a guy but I find men attractive. So with that being said i was with a group and the question that was asked was the world has ended and you were on some island somewhere who would you take the opposite sex or the same sex. I was the only guy that said I would take another guy, the reason being men are productive in those situations we haven’t got time to be emotional it’s about survival I wouldn’t want to have to take care of somebody when I’m also in a crappy situation. This is going to sound so bad but in those types of situations I don’t need a women because her only use is to reproduce and I don’t that. And when it comes to sex let’s be real all those social pressures are out the window it’s just the two of us no society to judge over time we will start having sex let’s be honest

 

[Anime2]

I think it's less a matter of "becoming" bi-curious than it is facing and accepting the interests they've had all along but refused to acknowledge. Feelings they probably first noticed and locked away when they hit puberty (likely due to the stigma associated with same sex attraction and or family influence) but as they get older and feel more secure in who they are and their place in life those feelings free from the worry of youth resurface and they accept and/or act upon it. This is my personal opinion at any rate.

I agree and I’ve said this so many times that most men I think have had thoughts about men have found another guy attractive to a certain extent maybe not enough to act on it. But male sexuality has been bullied over the years for so long that men just keep it inside. So many guys that love women but would want to try being with a man but society says if you do you’re gay so they don’t

 

[Tazman66]

I think I've been bi-curious for a long time. I had sexual encounters with a couple buddies as a teenager. Then I discovered girls (and pussy!) and I was hooked! Been married (happily) for 36+ years and sex is great with her, but I have fantasies about sucking cock and MMF threesomes.
Not sure if I'll ever have the opportunity or not.

 

[flatiron]

midlife crisis / time is running out / fuck i should've been more honest with myself twenty years ago / things were different when i was younger and for many reasons i couldn't come out as bi / man how good is internet porn, i fucking love looking at pics of big dicks / i wonder what another dude's cum tastes like and why didn't i find out when i was at uni when i had half a chance / i love my missus so much but gay porn is so awesome

none of this is wrong. as far as i'm concerned, better late than never.

 

[CURIOUS_8]

My first MM experience was fairly similar...in that my lover was a caring, considerate gay man who allowed me to "take my time" with the whole experience.....was just a wonderful time......

I think this helps a lot. That you be given time with it.



It seems that guys who are not naturally progressed in the comfortability of being pleased by a guy needs to feel they’re doing it of their own volition.



Makes a world of difference if the guy feels comfortable.

A friend who is a psych told me years ago 'If you put a group of men on an island with no women after a while they'll all start fucking each other'. That's pretty much the truth IMO. Reproduction aside, sex for men primarily is about bonding and pleasure.

So men desiring or enjoying physical pleasure with other men, isn't 'bi-curious' - it's just how men connect with each other and it's not 'gay' either.

HA! That’s about right. I’m akin to this profession. Yeah, science is about probability & outcome.



& many of my peers have made similar observations.

It may take some guys longer to admit it than not, since it’s not their first reflexive response, but they eventually get there.



(Don’t get me started on deployment hijinks.)

 

[P Dubble]

I'm not really older, but not young. I started touching my prostate. And I love getting rimmed.

 

[CURIOUS_8]

I'm not really older, but not young. I started touching my prostate. And I love getting rimmed.

Dude. More & more guys are saying this.
some variation of

a guy can't come near my asshole. But man, I stimulated my prostate & lIke that shit.

After that study came out over a decade ago finding that's where the male G' spot is, of course, more dudes were going to go exploring.

 

[Anime2]

I think this helps a lot. That you be given time with it.



It seems that guys who are not naturally progressed in the comfortability of being pleased by a guy needs to feel they’re doing it of their own volition.



Makes a world of difference if the guy feels comfortable.



HA! That’s about right. I’m akin to this profession. Yeah, science is about probability & outcome.



& many of my peers have made similar observations.

It may take some guys longer to admit it than not, since it’s not their first reflexive response, but they eventually get there.



(Don’t get me started on deployment hijinks.)

Army guys I’ve always wondered what happens with you guys because you’re away for months at a time together

 

[Stratavos]

I think I've been bi-curious for a long time. I had sexual encounters with a couple buddies as a teenager. Then I discovered girls (and pussy!) and I was hooked! Been married (happily) for 36+ years and sex is great with her, but I have fantasies about sucking cock and MMF threesomes.
Not sure if I'll ever have the opportunity or not.

you can always raise the idea of an MMF threesome as a birthday present, for either of you.