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Gay Guy And Married To Woman

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Jkus2424, May 29, 2021.

  1. Jkus2424

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    Interested in chatting with any guys who are gay but married to a woman. Always thought I was bi, but ultra conservative parents etc so deep closet. Married, had kids etc. Fast forward many decades and after much Self internalizing accept I am gay not bi. Still closeted. Anyone in a similar boat.
     
  2. TouchMeHere

    TouchMeHere Expert Member

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    I try not to put too much weight on labels. I present to the outer world as straight because I'm married to a woman. But in the times I've been in a gay mode I would be comfortable being out as gay. I prefer to have sex with couples, both a man and woman simultaneously, as my first choice. Or with two men simultaneously. I suppose I'm bisexual. What's the difference what label really. It's important to be on a path of self discovery and self acceptance as an individual who can grow and evolve over time. Labeling narrows the internal narrative too much and, who knows, you might feel differently in 5 years.
     
  3. Hungus

    Hungus Expert Member

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    “And keep in mind that the you that makes life worthy of living today won’t be the same you that makes life worth living this time next year. Identities aren’t meant to be permanent. They’re like cars: they take us from one place to another. We work, travel, and seek adventure in them until they break down beyond repair. At that point, living well means finding a new model that better suits us for a new moment.”
    ― Kate Bornstein, Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws
     
  4. marriedoralguy

    marriedoralguy Cherished Member

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    Married too seven years but secretly bi since was 19 48 soon just be discreet I mean I have only stepped out once but missing sucking cock
     
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  5. Jkus2424

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    Thanks for reaching out. Yes everyone's desires and needs are different. Does your wife know about your various preferences
     
  6. Derek246

    Derek246 Cherished Member

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    Hey! I am from a conservative family. And thinking of going down the road towards a straight marriage. I am more worried for my girlfriend than for myself. I know it’s 2021 but am definitely planning to stay the straight course though due to my upbringing and stuff. It’s either single or straight married for me.
     
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  7. Jkus2424

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    We all must choose the path that we feel is best for yourself. I found over time things changed
     
  8. mattypap339

    mattypap339 Banned

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    Feel free to be yourself..It's really difficult i am sure but people who love you now are going to do so even if you come out.Do what is best for you..It will eventually be the best for others including your family too.
     
  9. brinzaulsschwul

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    Well said
     
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  10. marriedoralguy

    marriedoralguy Cherished Member

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    I agree no judging here it's all tough on everyone I have only stepped out once and unless I found the right situation u know married like me safe just not going out there
     
  11. marriedoralguy

    marriedoralguy Cherished Member

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    Just wish women would be more open to stuff more experiences to me would make marriage stronger
     
  12. brinzaulsschwul

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    If you're having all these questions and worries about the straight path, give it a miss. You've already said it's 2021, the world is changing and you're in New York - quite liberal and you have Cuomo as governor but for how much longer who knows!

    Worried about girlfriend?! rightly so, she'll clock that you're not totally 100% straight when the sex stops, she'll want to know why, she'll go abroad for sex if you're not giving it to her, she'll question your conservative parents about the lack of sex and then the wheels will come off, everything will be awful for you - you've lied, you've cheated her, you've deceived etc

    As for staying single if you go the other path, no, don't do it, be true to yourself, find a man you want to be with you'll be much happier in the long run it is 2021, well we are nearly half way through and soon it will be 2022

    Stay strong or not actually, you're staying strong atm for the wrong reasons

    Brinz
     
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  13. Jkus2424

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    Wish it was that easy. When you are married and there are kids etc involved, it is not as simple as just doing what you want. A wife who is nothing but loving and supportive and adored by the kids does not deserve to have the world as she knows it shattered because I have now determined I am gay. I hear what you are saying, but life is complicated
     
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  14. marriedoralguy

    marriedoralguy Cherished Member

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    Yes totally said that's it guys like us have to stay quiet otherwise family will be torn apart
     
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  15. marriedoralguy

    marriedoralguy Cherished Member

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    You have these other people out here Monday morning quarterback who like to make comments and think it's that easy
     
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  16. mattypap339

    mattypap339 Banned

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    Totally get it..Never said it's easy..But if you were your wife what would you prefer?Continue a life that's based on lies(because as time goes by you will tell her many more so that you can protect your secret) and have a fake happiness or getting harmed and have your world crushed but having the chance to move on eventually and live a life you deserve?That goes for you as well
     
  17. Jkus2424

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    You make an excellent point. But there is tge alternate which is keep tge status quo, be as honest as I can, and deny myself a gay lifestyle
     
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  18. mattypap339

    mattypap339 Banned

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    True..But you are going to have 2(at least) miserable people..But i can't tell you for sure what to do.It's always easy to say your opinion if you are not the one who is dealing with a problem.
     
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  19. marriedoralguy

    marriedoralguy Cherished Member

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    Hey Matty are u married by any chance ?
     
  20. mattypap339

    mattypap339 Banned

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    No but i'm a son of a gay dad so..
     
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