I Meet Insecure Guys That Think I'm A Nympho And Has Social Media Ended Monogamy?

[deleted1547822]

I have a high sex drive, love sex and am a very sexual person but this is only obvious with the right person. I think i choose and attract insecure guys even the bigger ones iv'e had. Must be going wrong somewhere haha

And it may be me but it seems the whole world is casual and when people are in relationships virtual temptations are too much to resist. Maybe I just need to go to a few more dating events haha. Doesn't get me down as much but you get asked why your beautiful and single haha

Are men really terrified of an ambitious woman surely not?

Humans are insecure. Potential insecurity is heightened in the early stages of a relationship. Men are generally trained to be cognizant of women's insecurities, and be reassuring. Men are generally trained to hide their insecurites.

If you're meeting almost exclusively insecure guys, is it possible that you're doing something to foment their insecurity? Are you treating them how you would like to be treated?

 

[cheeky]

Lol yeah, the ghosting thing is getting really old. Somebody from here was about to meet me and I asked if I could see his face before we met. Like, you know, know what the guy looks like? I mean my face is in every picture I post and I know the guy had been tugging the old bell-rope to my pictures from day one, didn't think asking for a face would be so scandalous. He started calling me shady, freaked out, ignored me for a while, asked last minute if we were still on, then ghosted. That's the ONLY case where there was some context to the ghosting. Sometimes a guy meets me and we have a crazy night, then he messages me for two/three days about how good it was, begs for more pictures and then drops off the face of the Earth. Sometimes it happens before we can even meet. I know it's unusual to meet a girl that's clear about wanting sex, but to be actually afraid of that is freaking sad. I do agree with some of the above thoughts that it's a masculinity thing. They gotta be in control or whatever. I dunno. It helps that I'm married. The real social irony is that my hubby is a big, chubby goofball artist/intellectual type. The Honda fat feel who wears hockey jerseys with video game logos on it. THAT'S the one guy I've been with so far who has been confident, straight forward, kind and understanding. Not scared of my sex drive one bit, but perfectly willing to make me feel better when a guy ghosts me. All these lean muscular dudes on here with big honkin dicks have paled in comparison to my chubby hubby when it comes to confidence and "big dick energy."

You might just be gettin side stepped for leg day at the gym

 

[MrsWildHack]

You might just be gettin side stepped for leg day at the gym

I have no idea how to reply to that lol. Joke? Insult? No idea.

 

[cheeky]

I have no idea how to reply to that lol. Joke? Insult? No idea.

Haha not an insult.. just criticism of the foolish big dick 6 pack alpha bros that clearly don’t know what a golden opportunity they are passing on.

They are the tv extras that die in their first an only episode appearance

 

[4103221]

Humans are insecure. Potential insecurity is heightened in the early stages of a relationship. Men are generally trained to be cognizant of women's insecurities, and be reassuring. Men are generally trained to hide their insecurites.

If you're meeting almost exclusively insecure guys, is it possible that you're doing something to foment their insecurity? Are you treating them how you would like to be treated?

My ex said I was a great caring gf long reason why we split. I definately treat all boyfriends hiw I would like to be treated. It is a relationship after all. And try to reassure around insecureties if im aware what they are. And I never know how deep their insecurities are until i am fully invested so dont go seeking projects to fix.

 

[4103221]

Lol yeah, the ghosting thing is getting really old. Somebody from here was about to meet me and I asked if I could see his face before we met. Like, you know, know what the guy looks like? I mean my face is in every picture I post and I know the guy had been tugging the old bell-rope to my pictures from day one, didn't think asking for a face would be so scandalous. He started calling me shady, freaked out, ignored me for a while, asked last minute if we were still on, then ghosted. That's the ONLY case where there was some context to the ghosting. Sometimes a guy meets me and we have a crazy night, then he messages me for two/three days about how good it was, begs for more pictures and then drops off the face of the Earth. Sometimes it happens before we can even meet. I know it's unusual to meet a girl that's clear about wanting sex, but to be actually afraid of that is freaking sad. I do agree with some of the above thoughts that it's a masculinity thing. They gotta be in control or whatever. I dunno. It helps that I'm married. The real social irony is that my hubby is a big, chubby goofball artist/intellectual type. The Honda fat feel who wears hockey jerseys with video game logos on it. THAT'S the one guy I've been with so far who has been confident, straight forward, kind and understanding. Not scared of my sex drive one bit, but perfectly willing to make me feel better when a guy ghosts me. All these lean muscular dudes on here with big honkin dicks have paled in comparison to my chubby hubby when it comes to confidence and "big dick energy."

Ghosting in both situations sounds familiar that got me over casual sex quickly made me feel rubbish. If i need sex then I will be clear thats what I am looking for you own your sexuality. Sadly some guys want wank bank pics and some like pussy carousel! Great description of your hubby and lucky you can have sides of sex too.

 

[marriedasian]

Guess anything thats different and you venture out is classed as ambitious. Guess iv'e studied alot but I have been supported. I like to travel and expand my horizons not afraid of life. So maybe someone who is along for the journey. But just feels that my independence may cause issues but its not usually voiced. I am quite happy in my self so have tried to evaluate why I end up with these men, might be my profession that draws them near. I dont choose them like that I only find out when i'm too deeply involved. Guess secure guys dont see me as a target or i'm not in the right places they are. Most probably doesnt help that i met my lasylt two exes online but thats the norm but may be something in that. Another ex i met in a club years ago very secure but other issues haha

sounds like you are pretty set in your own way and confident for it which is not a good or bad thing. also i'm reading that you are independent so i'm going to assume that you are also financially secure and well-grounded. again, not a good or bad thing.

for the most part, men who are secure in their own right are looking for women who will compliment their lives. for example, you are financially independent and well-grounded so if you met a man who was also financially independent and grounded, he may not be interested in you because he already has what you have... you would have to bring something else to the table (as would he too). i don't think it's your independence or profession at all that is causing you to meet insecure men. i would say that you really have to quantify what you want in a man and then see how you can compliment those qualities that you are looking for in a man. only then can you decide if you want to present those qualities in yourself to attract those type of men. if you can't or won't then there's no chance because why would a man want you otherwise (or vice-versa)? you would treat a man the same way if he was not a compliment to your life.

 

[marriedasian]

Thanks for the reply interesting insight, yes do have to find the right person to complement me not always that simple. Interesting that a man would not want someone grounded or independent as they have that never thought of that, maybe people look for opposites maybe they don't but everyone is different. Will just enjoy my life see what the universe throws my way

best of luck... this is why many successful, independent women have a hard time finding a man. not only are their expectations higher (as most women want a man that is at least their level or higher) but they already have what any potential man may be able to provide (money, food, shelter, security, etc.) since the man has always been regarded to as the "provider" and "protector". since these women have knocked men out of their lives as a potential "provider" and/or "protector", they are now seeking men for other reasons that may compliment their lives. many men will be intimidated by these women because what can they possibly bring to the table that she doesn't already have? what chance do they have? this is only a small portion of what causes insecurity in men.

works the same for men who are successful and looking for a woman for a long-term relationship and/or marriage with kids. they're not interested in a woman who makes a lot of money, they may be interested in a woman who wants to be a good housewife, knows the value of her man, takes care of the family, etc... the list goes on and different for each man/person. this is not to degrade women into lesser roles per se, it's just the reality of the situation.

 

[IntactMale]

Are men really terrified of an ambitious woman surely not?

No. Some guys simply don't find ambition to be an attractive trait in women. The idea of an ambitious woman, or a woman exercising ambition, is relatively new. Historically the ideal mate for a man was a woman who stayed close to home, took care of the home, and raised children. Things have obviously changed, but changing a behavior that was adapted to maximize benefit over a few hundred thousand years will take some time. And that behavior might not change at all for some guys, for some it is still a preference.

A growing number of men seem to find ambitious women attractive. I think the fact that dual income households, and households in which women are the primary money earns are both increasing significantly shows that shift. There are a lot more cases of stay-at-home husbands now when in the past that never would have been the case, I think a lot of men might even fantasize about that kind of scenario.

I think that in most case if you are experiencing problems in relationships with others it usually is more effective to look at oneself and what what you can change about yourself to improve the scenario, because you will never be successful in truly changing another person. I would suggest examining the type of people you are attracted to and why you are attracted to them. If the tendency is that they are all deterred from ambitious women then maybe there is a problem with the type of person you are attracted to, at least initially attracted to since obviously you don't have a long term attraction to this deeper aspect of their personality. So why are you initially attracted to men who don't satisfy your more long term needs.

But in regards to what you said about insecurity, insecurity is an internalized emotion. It is about oneself and not the person that they may be dating.

 

[SoaringSpirit]

Lol yeah, the ghosting thing is getting really old. Somebody from here was about to meet me and I asked if I could see his face before we met. Like, you know, know what the guy looks like? I mean my face is in every picture I post and I know the guy had been tugging the old bell-rope to my pictures from day one, didn't think asking for a face would be so scandalous. He started calling me shady, freaked out, ignored me for a while, asked last minute if we were still on, then ghosted. That's the ONLY case where there was some context to the ghosting. Sometimes a guy meets me and we have a crazy night, then he messages me for two/three days about how good it was, begs for more pictures and then drops off the face of the Earth. Sometimes it happens before we can even meet. I know it's unusual to meet a girl that's clear about wanting sex, but to be actually afraid of that is freaking sad. I do agree with some of the above thoughts that it's a masculinity thing. They gotta be in control or whatever. I dunno. It helps that I'm married. The real social irony is that my hubby is a big, chubby goofball artist/intellectual type. The Honda fat feel who wears hockey jerseys with video game logos on it. THAT'S the one guy I've been with so far who has been confident, straight forward, kind and understanding. Not scared of my sex drive one bit, but perfectly willing to make me feel better when a guy ghosts me. All these lean muscular dudes on here with big honkin dicks have paled in comparison to my chubby hubby when it comes to confidence and "big dick energy."

I love the term " big dick energy"...it rocks & is so descriptive of my guy....perfectly stated !

 

[MrsWildHack]

Lol yeah, the ghosting thing is getting really old. Somebody from here was about to meet me and I asked if I could see his face before we met. Like, you know, know what the guy looks like? I mean my face is in every picture I post and I know the guy had been tugging the old bell-rope to my pictures from day one, didn't think asking for a face would be so scandalous. He started calling me shady, freaked out, ignored me for a while, asked last minute if we were still on, then ghosted. That's the ONLY case where there was some context to the ghosting. Sometimes a guy meets me and we have a crazy night, then he messages me for two/three days about how good it was, begs for more pictures and then drops off the face of the Earth. Sometimes it happens before we can even meet. I know it's unusual to meet a girl that's clear about wanting sex, but to be actually afraid of that is freaking sad. I do agree with some of the above thoughts that it's a masculinity thing. They gotta be in control or whatever. I dunno. It helps that I'm married. The real social irony is that my hubby is a big, chubby goofball artist/intellectual type. The Honda fat feel who wears hockey jerseys with video game logos on it. THAT'S the one guy I've been with so far who has been confident, straight forward, kind and understanding. Not scared of my sex drive one bit, but perfectly willing to make me feel better when a guy ghosts me. All these lean muscular dudes on here with big honkin dicks have paled in comparison to my chubby hubby when it comes to confidence and "big dick energy."

Omg I just re-read my post and saw all the spell check typos... Uuuuug

 

[ItalTony9]

I have a high sex drive, love sex and am a very sexual person but this is only obvious with the right person. I think i choose and attract insecure guys even the bigger ones iv'e had. Must be going wrong somewhere haha

And it may be me but it seems the whole world is casual and when people are in relationships virtual temptations are too much to resist. Maybe I just need to go to a few more dating events haha. Doesn't get me down as much but you get asked why your beautiful and single haha

Are men really terrified of an ambitious woman surely not?

are they really insecure or just vulnerable?

 

[Barbarian73]

Lol yeah, the ghosting thing is getting really old. Somebody from here was about to meet me and I asked if I could see his face before we met. Like, you know, know what the guy looks like? I mean my face is in every picture I post and I know the guy had been tugging the old bell-rope to my pictures from day one, didn't think asking for a face would be so scandalous. He started calling me shady, freaked out, ignored me for a while, asked last minute if we were still on, then ghosted. That's the ONLY case where there was some context to the ghosting. Sometimes a guy meets me and we have a crazy night, then he messages me for two/three days about how good it was, begs for more pictures and then drops off the face of the Earth. Sometimes it happens before we can even meet. I know it's unusual to meet a girl that's clear about wanting sex, but to be actually afraid of that is freaking sad. I do agree with some of the above thoughts that it's a masculinity thing. They gotta be in control or whatever. I dunno. It helps that I'm married. The real social irony is that my hubby is a big, chubby goofball artist/intellectual type. The Honda fat feel who wears hockey jerseys with video game logos on it. THAT'S the one guy I've been with so far who has been confident, straight forward, kind and understanding. Not scared of my sex drive one bit, but perfectly willing to make me feel better when a guy ghosts me. All these lean muscular dudes on here with big honkin dicks have paled in comparison to my chubby hubby when it comes to confidence and "big dick energy."

As a former chubby I say, good on you that you have a chubby hubby you feel so highly of that understands you. Not many women let us in their lives as loves and partners.

 

[Adventurous]

I think some of the ghosting you can put down to married men who like the idea of it and then panic when they have to reveal their identity because they haven't been upfront at the start. So they disappear rather than meet or send pics for fear of being found out. Therefore sometimes you have to remember you aren't the reason they vanish.

They should just be upfront as I have been in the past - have a very high sex drive, need to be discreet because married, think ur sexy as fuck, shall we fuck each other's brains out with no string. Simple. It may not make u a good person but it's better not to waste people's time.

As for being ambitious - never change that!

As for women instigating sex - I don't think there is anything hotter than that so keep doing that too gorgeous!

Hope u find someone suitable and enjoy some great sex until Mr. Right comes along ;-)

 

[deleted4500261]

Not at all. Ambition with compassion is a great character trait. A healthy sex drive is also an amazing thing as well. I love all of that in a partner myself. Unfortunately there are still people of all genders that can be insecure and try and make you feel about yourself. Just be you and be proud.

 

[deleted1168963]

I have a high sex drive, love sex and am a very sexual person but this is only obvious with the right person. I think i choose and attract insecure guys even the bigger ones iv'e had. Must be going wrong somewhere haha

And it may be me but it seems the whole world is casual and when people are in relationships virtual temptations are too much to resist. Maybe I just need to go to a few more dating events haha. Doesn't get me down as much but you get asked why your beautiful and single haha

Are men really terrified of an ambitious woman surely not?

Not at all. I actually like confidence in a woman. I am an alpha male and need a strong minded woman even when it comes to sex

 

[4353731]

I think a lot of "alpha male" types over promise, and then in the face of a woman who we know will tell it how it is we have a legitimate fear we will under deliver.
Just my thoughts

 

[4388301]

I have a high sex drive, love sex and am a very sexual person but this is only obvious with the right person. I think i choose and attract insecure guys even the bigger ones iv'e had. Must be going wrong somewhere haha

And it may be me but it seems the whole world is casual and when people are in relationships virtual temptations are too much to resist. Maybe I just need to go to a few more dating events haha. Doesn't get me down as much but you get asked why your beautiful and single haha

Are men really terrified of an ambitious woman surely not?

Erry dude I been with until my current partner thought they wanted someone w high sex drive, and then they were with me and changed they tune. No able to keep up at all. So much bragging, so much self-ego-stroke from lot o (not all) dude. Intimidate I think plus some insecure about it. Was no always good about communicate how high libido was, caved to mainstream culture about how supposed to act. Last few was honest. Two no attempt to keep up. Partner tries, but natural low libido.

When monogamous, very much monogamous/loyal. Been monogamous, poly, ethical slut and fuck a lot, plus brief/tiny dabble in swing. Do no want more than partner, but they are no kink. Tried to find happy medium for years, but is just not in them. Not try to manipulate/force what I need from them, so. Came to agreement. Rules made. Even with permit, am reluctant to do anything with not them. Neither o us tempt by "virtual temptations". Both o us despise cheaters and while no dead, may see some people who be attractive, don't want anybody else. Big nerd, both o us. Lot of time online. Still no tempting.