Yes, to some extent. Again, I am just not into labels. Although I still consider myself straight, I am turned on by looking at big cocks. So, what does that mean?
So, what is the proper label?
I don't know, and frankly my dear...
Is there really such a thing as bi-sexual?
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So, what is the proper label?
I don't know, and frankly my dear...
I don't know any. You seemed to be making a distinction between bi and pan sexual in your post above. So what is the difference between the two in your view? You haven't answered that.
I consider myself pansexual or omnisexual as in I couldn't care less about someones gender or orientation. I'm either attracted to them or not. It's the combination of their looks, their personality, their energy, their vibe. And it changes constantly. I always say to people who tell me "oh, I could never be with a man/woman": "yes, you can. You just haven't met the right one". We all know the stories (or experienced it ourselves) of people who have known each other for years as friends or collagues or even enemies and after all these years they suddenly click and fall in love. The attraction was never there but when they really get to know each other it happens. Same with all the bromances. Of course not all bromances are sexual in nature, but I guess in a less restrained and labeled society a lot of people would just go for it, following their instincts and urges. After all, it's love and lust that count, not labels.
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I'd say they are pretty similar I'm just going off of what she told me the. I told you already though the difference is that they like everyone, in simple terms. Bisexuality only, by definition, refers to a person liking men and women. pansexuality is liking everyone regardless of gender.(and that is because not everyone identifies as a man or a woman) the only reason I pointed it out is she always refers to herself as pansexual but it still relevant to the question because while she is pan in the years I've known her she's only been with guys
It appeared to me that homophobia got in the way of his relationships with men (as he said, "what I need is to be straight), and even though he's able to have sex with men, he is emotionally blocked. It sounds to me that as serious relationships are taken as more significant than one-night-stands, men who internalize homophobia are able to cope with their erotic feelings if romantic feelings are suppressed. But of course, a guy who is able to enjoy sex with men or is attracted to men can not be called straight.
I really like the idea of pansexual and support it. But honestly rather doubt that people who feel they could never be with a man/woman are suddenly going to change their minds when they meet 'the right one'. Of course it can and does sometimes happen but maybe not that often? And I can't really think of any friends/colleagues/enemies who suddenly clicked and fell in love after many years. That just doesn't ring true to life in my experience.
No, they probably will not change their minds because they're not open to the possibility. Which is fine, each to his/her own. I just feel a little bit saddened by the idea that people are limited in their life because there are so many labels and stigma's.
I actually do know quite a few people who had known each other for years and discovered their feelings changed and fell in love. It's not that uncommon. It's a tv cliche actually, but then again there's some truth in every cliche.
It seems your premise hinges on these value measurements "can bi-sexually truly be equal in terms of liking each gender exactly the same amount, or is there a natural inclination to sway more to one gender than the other?
As a straight woman who sees both the pros and cons of each male and female, I find it intriguing that someone could like them exactly 50/50 with no overall inclination for one over the other."
How do you measure these values? It is apparent in defining these values that the variables are so many, dynamic and complex, that i cant see how these values can actual be measured.
There is also an assumption that bisexuality is fixed in its ratio, and is not subject to changes in the ratio.
As a straight woman who sees both the pros and cons of each male and female, I find it intriguing that someone could like them exactly 50/50 with no overall inclination for one over the other."
How do you measure these values? It is apparent in defining these values that the variables are so many, dynamic and complex, that i cant see how these values can actual be measured.
There is also an assumption that bisexuality is fixed in its ratio, and is not subject to changes in the ratio.
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The problems that we have with sexuality are often the labels that we put on it.
We draw a line with straight at one end and gay at the other and grudgingly draw bisexuals in the middle.
Anyone that's not in one of those buckets is viewed with suspicion (are they not out yet? are they in denial?)
The truth is that any one of us can find any other one of us attractive. We can all turn to each other for sexual pleasure.
That we don't is down to a million factors - many social constructs
But I don't care if you're male or female, trans, queer, questioning, straight, gay, bi or on the spectrum.
I choose the people in my life based on other criteria.
That's not for everyone. But it's served me well
We draw a line with straight at one end and gay at the other and grudgingly draw bisexuals in the middle.
Anyone that's not in one of those buckets is viewed with suspicion (are they not out yet? are they in denial?)
The truth is that any one of us can find any other one of us attractive. We can all turn to each other for sexual pleasure.
That we don't is down to a million factors - many social constructs
But I don't care if you're male or female, trans, queer, questioning, straight, gay, bi or on the spectrum.
I choose the people in my life based on other criteria.
That's not for everyone. But it's served me well
There is also an assumption that 100% straight is fixed in its ratio and is not subject to changes in the ratio. An assumption that you represent a fixed point and everything else (apart from perhaps your 100% gay polar opposite) is subject to flux and change - unstable.
- ach,
That's... not a definition of bisexual that I recognise. I call myself bisexual, by which I mean that I am capable of attraction to more than one gender. There's no requirement to be *exactly 50/50*, whatever that means.
Personally, I don't know how you would go about quantifying this anyway. I don't think about my sexuality in terms of the degree of my attraction to some platonic ideal of each gender; rather it is defined by the actual real people who I actually do find attractive. Without going around counting how many men, women, non-binary etc. people I find attractive and rating them all on a scale of one to ten, or something, I don't know how I would really meaningfully quantify a ratio. And honestly, who has the time? That ratio could change on a day to day basis depending on the sexy people I happen to see that day.
It might be a bit simpler if you just counted people you actually have sex with, but that seems like a rather blunt instrument, and it will still change over time.
Ultimately, this question seems to me to stem from a desire to minimise bisexuality and to pretend that it doesn't really exist, by writing off as many people as you can as "actually just gay" or "just bicurious" or whatever. Why the hell does it matter if people are "exactly 50/50", whatever you mean by that? It doesn't make someone any less bisexual if they are "40/60", or "70/30", or any other arbitrary number.
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I'm not attracted to women, that is sufficient evidence to disprove the claim that everyone can find both genders attractive
Bisexual doesn't indicate that someone is attracted to both sexes exactly equally.
I like and appreciate Shard38's comments above. It's the best explanation I've heard yet about my own orientation. I've described myself on my profile as 60% straight 40% gay. This is not some internal definition of who I am. It's actually more or less what my past experience has been but not even exact numbers.
An important question.
I spent most of my early years in the closet; people were either fooled into thinking I was straight, or they suspected I wasn't & immediately concluded I was therefore gay & in the closet. I internalised that & thought of myself as gay. When I met my current gf, 20 years ago, I was physically and emotionally attracted to her, even though I'd hitherto only been attracted to men.
For several years, my attraction to her was enough but then the attraction to men bubbled to the surface & I 'came out' to her as bi. I didn't want to tell her I suspected I was gay because I knew that would have ended our very special relationship. After several more years, I couldn't suppress my gay feelings anymore & had two quick, separate flings with young, very good looking guys. The experiences turned my life upside-down: I couldn't get an erection, didn't feel excited, or hungry for them, or even as if I was feeding the hunger that had built up inside me. To put it bluntly, I felt nothing, either emotionally or physically.
Burdened with guilt, I confessed. My gf stayed with me because she said she understood what had been building in me for years - I'd openly communicated it to her. She is the only person in the world who can turn me on, give me an erection & a satisfying orgasm. If I watch porn, or fantasise, nothing leaves me as flat or uninspired as gay sex. There has to be a woman. She has to be enjoying herself, and it has to be a straight situation (ie not MMF) in order for me to get off.
So I've had to rethink my whole identity. I'm not straight, but neither do I appear to be gay either. In my mind, I'm almost certainly bi, despite being attracted exclusively to men.
I spent most of my early years in the closet; people were either fooled into thinking I was straight, or they suspected I wasn't & immediately concluded I was therefore gay & in the closet. I internalised that & thought of myself as gay. When I met my current gf, 20 years ago, I was physically and emotionally attracted to her, even though I'd hitherto only been attracted to men.
For several years, my attraction to her was enough but then the attraction to men bubbled to the surface & I 'came out' to her as bi. I didn't want to tell her I suspected I was gay because I knew that would have ended our very special relationship. After several more years, I couldn't suppress my gay feelings anymore & had two quick, separate flings with young, very good looking guys. The experiences turned my life upside-down: I couldn't get an erection, didn't feel excited, or hungry for them, or even as if I was feeding the hunger that had built up inside me. To put it bluntly, I felt nothing, either emotionally or physically.
Burdened with guilt, I confessed. My gf stayed with me because she said she understood what had been building in me for years - I'd openly communicated it to her. She is the only person in the world who can turn me on, give me an erection & a satisfying orgasm. If I watch porn, or fantasise, nothing leaves me as flat or uninspired as gay sex. There has to be a woman. She has to be enjoying herself, and it has to be a straight situation (ie not MMF) in order for me to get off.
So I've had to rethink my whole identity. I'm not straight, but neither do I appear to be gay either. In my mind, I'm almost certainly bi, despite being attracted exclusively to men.
Thanks again Shard 38. In my case what happened is that I fell in love with a guy. It was something I had never realized could happen. It was not only unexpected but was also really wonderful.
Bi sexual doesn't mean that a person is attracted to both sexes equally. It just means they are attracted to booth sexes.
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