Straight Friend Gay Friend

[deleted1539242]

not sure if this is already a thread but i had a question for straight men.
im a gay man and i became real cool with my coworker before he left to another job/ i became friend with someone at a previous job and we’ve stayed friends since.
i’ve only had gay friends so i know how we can talk and what we’re cool talking about. but i’ve never had a straight friend and i wanna know what did your gay friend do that made you comfortable with them? cause i wanna be their friend but i’m not sure how to not scare them away
like ex: if i saw this fine guy on twitter i’d send the tweet to my gay friend but i can’t do that with my straight friend.
does this make sense? it does in my head
like i obviously know friendships take time and effort to build and sustain but i want to let them subconsciously know we’re cool we’re friends

 

[tallmarriedprof]

Ive had two close friends that were gay -- but Ive also had numerous close female friends. I Just have lots of platonic friendships.

The gay guys didn't do anything in particular 'to make me feel comfortable with them'. They were just nice, chill, fun guys that I enjoyed hanging out with.

Honestly my take is most people appreciate being asked to do things/hang out, etc. Just ask a buddy who youd like to get to know, invite him to a group thing, whatever.

 

[deleted1539242]

Ive had two close friends that were gay -- but Ive also had numerous close female friends. I Just have lots of platonic friendships.

The gay guys didn't do anything in particular 'to make me feel comfortable with them'. They were just nice, chill, fun guys that I enjoyed hanging out with.

Honestly my take is most people appreciate being asked to do things/hang out, etc. Just ask a buddy who youd like to get to know, invite him to a group thing, whatever.

okay gotcha. i’m just like i guess nervous about having. straight friends and overthinking.
so basically you’re saying just be cool and try not to “do something” to have them think i’m cool more or less

 

[Gj816]

Just be yourself. If your straight friend knows your gay he knows you like mem. Most of us are accepting of others.
Just do guy things. Don't over think it.

 

[tallmarriedprof]

okay gotcha. i’m just like i guess nervous about having. straight friends and overthinking.
so basically you’re saying just be cool and try not to “do something” to have them think i’m cool more or less

Don't even think about 'do something to have them think I'm more or less cool".

Just be yourself. But fun, be nice, etc.

I love having all kinds of different friends -- makes it interesting. If he's cool, he will too.

 

[scarymovie3]

Look!. Before being "GAY", You are a person. Friends dont care about each other's gender/preferences. If you become friends with a straight man just because you liked him and hoped maybe someday you could hook him, you're a bad person and not a good friend.
you dont lose friends when switching jobs, schools, cities, you keep in touch, Only if both parties consider each other as friends, maybe if he considers you a real friend you will keep in touch, if he doesnt care then he does not consider you a friend, its all in your head. if that was the case i'd say, stop trying to make straight man fall for you, its not gonna happen dont be a shitty person.

 

[cofrader]

cause i wanna be their friend but i’m not sure how to not scare them away

You get to choose the sexual orientation of your friends? How would you scare somebody away?
In fact been friends lower the tension with a woman because relationship and sex are out of the menu.
Try not sending them Twitter of men, Twitter of woman could be better but useless on my opinion.
I must confess that a friend of a friend who appear to be flamboyant gay was hard to deal with by my younger self. I don’t know how would I react now.
The other thing if that I’m not making new friends after high school I don’t know I have former coworkers and meet again and chat but it’s not the same.
But I never knew the sexual tastes of my friends I assume they were straight fast forward we end up married with kids but if it end up different im his friend I can’t go against his happiness.

 

[svrocks]

I don't have any close friends who are gay but I've known a good number of gay men over the years. They were open about it and I've never found it to be a problem. They didn't do anything in particular to make me feel like we can be friends. They're just nice people and I don't see a problem with their sexual orientation.

 

[deleted1539242]

i

I don't have any close friends who are gay but I've known a good number of gay men over the years. They were open about it and I've never found it to be a problem. They didn't do anything in particular to make me feel like we can be friends. They're just nice people and I don't see a problem with their sexual orientation.

so i think i’m actually looking for the first time someone realized “hey this guy is cool i think i can open up to him”

 

[svrocks]

i

so i think i’m actually looking for the first time someone realized “hey this guy is cool i think i can open up to him”

Totally. I do feel like you have reservations of your own, too, and that part is up to you to address. We all run into some nasty people every now and then regardless of our sexual orientation. Just never let it get to you.

 

[brandon38]

Be yourself he like you for you so just enjoy your friendship.

 

[bigbill810]

not sure if this is already a thread but i had a question for straight men.
im a gay man and i became real cool with my coworker before he left to another job/ i became friend with someone at a previous job and we’ve stayed friends since.
i’ve only had gay friends so i know how we can talk and what we’re cool talking about. but i’ve never had a straight friend and i wanna know what did your gay friend do that made you comfortable with them? cause i wanna be their friend but i’m not sure how to not scare them away
like ex: if i saw this fine guy on twitter i’d send the tweet to my gay friend but i can’t do that with my straight friend.
does this make sense? it does in my head
like i obviously know friendships take time and effort to build and sustain but i want to let them subconsciously know we’re cool we’re friends

Definitely agree with the rest of the guys here. Someone's sexual orientation matters very little with how I treat them. Unless that person makes it a blatant point of the conversation, it more than likely doesn't come up. I just don't care; it won't hurt or help or friendship unless attention is drawn to it.

Do exactly what I assume you would do with your gay friend, talk about the things you have in common, and see where it goes. Peoples' threshold on how and when they open up to someone are different. Maybe you'll hit that point, maybe you won't. Don't take it personal if it takes time. You'll be fine.