What A Mess: Betrayal

[Sklar]

Chapter 15

I wake up and there is an ice pick in my brain. Someone is driving it into the back of my brain and dragging it to the front of my brain. Then taking it out and repeating it. The intelligence officer in me starts to count.

1

2

3

4

5

6

Repeat

1

2

3

4

5

6

Repeat

Carol Burnett once described going through labor as taking your bottom lip and pulling it to the back of your head.

I would rather be going through labor pain, than this scathing eruption of pain is happening right now.

I am flat on my back.

Right arm draped over my eyes.

I feel like I am bleeding pain into the pillow.

There is a stabbing pain going

Throb

Throb

Throb

From the back of my skull to the front.

Even my hair hurts.

Tears are streaming down my face.

Tylenol.

I fucking need Tylenol.

I start to sit up.

Big mistake!

The pain goes from

Throb

Throb

Throb

To

VWOOM

VWOOM

VWOOM

I immediately lay back down, groaning.

Throb

Throb

Throb

Fuck

I thought my shoulder and arms were bad when Char had fallen asleep and left me trussed up in the restraints.

This makes that seem like a walk in the park.

I can’t lay here with this pain!

I can’t sit up, either! It makes it worse!

But I can’t stay here. The Tylenol is in the bathroom.

Fuck!

I reach out with the Force and try to bring the Tylenol to me.

Nothing.

Telekinetic power.

Nothing

Wishful thinking!

Nothing.

Fuck, what did I expect? That it would magically levitate to me. God, I hate feeling this helpless! Fuck, I may have to low crawl across the floor to the medicine cabinet.

An image of me low crawling through my bedroom to the bathroom forms. The floor is littered with pain mines and I am hitting them all as I low crawl to the medicine cabinet.

Fuck, that hurts even thinking about it.

My left arm twitches and hits something.

Wait.

Char is next to me! I try to roll onto my left side.

VWOOM

VWOOM

VWOOM

Ffffuuuccckkk, no.

I roll back onto my back, breathing heavily.

Throb

Throb

Throb

God, who would have thought this was the better pain level??

I take my left hand and flop it onto Char.

“Char,” I say softly, “Char wake up.”

I roll my arm back and forth onto her.

“Hmmm,” she murmurs, “Jim?”

She’s awake! Thank God!

“Char, honey, I need Tylenol,” I say in a soft voice.

“Are you okay?” Char says rolling onto her right side. Her movement making the bed shake. Making the throbbing worse! I grunt in pain and wince my face. “Oh my God,” Char beaths out, “Jim, what’s wrong?”

“Tylenol. Now!” I manage to say through gritted teeth. Char quickly gets out of bed, making it shake more. I close my eyes and bring my hands to the side of my head and press down on it. Trying to stop the throbbing and only making it more intense!

“Shit,” I mutter, dropping my arms to my side, making it go back to the throbbing it was before. Fuck, that hurts. Better the throbbing than the Vwooming!

Shit!

“Here,” Char says, next to me, startling me. I never get startled! What the fuck? She gently sits down on the bed. No extra shaking, thank God. “I have three Tylenol, Jim.” I feel her fingers at my lips and I open them. She drops the three pills into my mouth. “Here’s a glass of water, honey.” I try to sit up and can’t. I feel her put her hand behind my head as I lift up. That increases the pain but not to the Vwoom level. She puts the glass to my lips, and I drink like I haven’t had water for days. Once I finish the glass, Char gently lowers my head back to the bed. “I have a cold compress, Jim. Let me put it on your forehead.”

I feel the cool, dampness of the cloth on my forehead. I’m not sure if it helps but it’s not hurting worse.

“What happened, Jim?” Char asks, after a few moments.

“I don’t know,” I say, softly. “The pain in my head woke me up. How long since we fell asleep?”

“A couple hours. It’s 8:42 pm,” she says, after a quick glance at the clock on her nightstand. “Do you know what caused the headache?”

“No,” I say, softly, “we both just fell asleep after we got done. I didn’t have time to eat lunch today, but I doubt that would cause this. I’ve gone a few days without eating in the field, before. Nothing like that has happened.”

“Let me grab you something,” Char says. “What would you like?”

A memory from childhood flashes in front of me. “Can you make me a tuna sandwich with celery chopped up in it? And some cinnamon toast?” A slight smile forms on my face, from that memory.

“Of course, I can,” she says. She slowly gets off the bed and I hear her leave the room. I fucking hate that I can’t find her. My HUD is all staticky. The only time this has happened before, was when I was trussed up when Josh found me. God, I feel so vulnerable without it.

But it’s my home. I am safe here. I have Char here to take care of me. I just need to relax and weather this out. I’m more concerned about where this came from. I’ve never had migraines before. It can’t be because I didn’t eat. I’ve been starving in the field before and nothing like this has happened. Trust me, in survival school you learn to eat what you can, when you can. After two days of my traps being destroyed or broken out of, those caterpillars tasted good!

Gooey, but good.

I just lay there.

Zoning.

I slowly turn my head to my nightstand. There’s a plate with a tuna sandwich on it with toast. What the fuck? Why did Char leave it there? Better question is when did Char leave it there? I glance at the clock. 10:03 pm. I guess I zoned out and fell back asleep. She must have seen me sleeping and left it there for me when I woke back up.

That’s a scary feeling; knowing you were sleeping, and someone was in the same room as you and you didn’t know it.

Then it hits me:

My Psy Ops Training didn’t kick in!

Holy shit! What is going on in my brain? I always wake up when someone is in my area while I am sleeping!

I start to tremble a bit. If this was on a mission, I could have been killed! My team could have been killed!

That can’t happen again!

I need to be ready to go in an instant!

I gingerly start to sit up.

No pain.

Thank God.

Char is in the living room. My HUD is back. She “feels”…different…somehow.

I grab my plate and go into the living room.

“Char,” I say a little loudly, “I’m up.”

“Are you feeling better?” She says, as she turns from the couch to look at me. She looks fine. I’m not sure why she “feels” differently now.

“Well, the headache is gone,” I say, sitting on the couch next to her.

“I’m so glad to hear that,” she says, leaning in to kiss my cheek.

“I’m so glad it’s gone,” I say, as I take a bite out of my sandwich. “That was a very bad headache.”

“It must have been,” she says. “You didn’t wake up when I brought in your sandwich. You also didn’t wake up when I put your cock back in your trousers and buttoned you back up.”

“What?” I say, turning towards her, dropping the sandwich back on the plate, shocked. “You were able to touch me, and I didn’t wake up?”

“Yes,” she said. “I was expecting you to wake up, but you were like me after I have a powerful orgasm. Out like a light. I wasn’t sure if you were faking it or not. When I was able to redress you, so to speak, I realized that you were out cold. Jim, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” I say, worried. Worried and scared. Fuck. First those uncontrolled orgasms. Now this. Josh said that they would go away. But they haven’t. They’re now getting more powerful. But I haven’t had one outside of sex; like I did in the head and shower before the three way. At least that’s a step in the right direction.

But this. Her touching me while I am sleeping. That’s new. That never should have happened! Fuck. It’s one new thing after another, now. Is this what was happening to Paul? No. He was having nightmares and thrashing in his sleep. I was out like a light. Char was able to, as she said, redress me, and I didn’t react. That’s the polar opposite of what Paul went through.

“Look,” Char says, “we are both smart, intelligent people. Headaches happen. Hell, migraines happen, too. Let’s keep watch and see if it happens again. This could very well be a one-time thing. Let’s not panic because the ship hit a wave.”

“As always, you’re the voice of reason,” I say, leaning in to kiss her, with a calm I certainly don’t feel. Then another thought hits me. “Char, do you think this is about me being repressed?”

“What do you mean?” she asks, turning more to face me on the couch.

“Yes,” she says. “I am saying this with all the love that I have for you, Jim, but I had always thought you were a bit repressed, when it came to anal. Anything else, sexually, was fair game; bondage, fetish, roughness, tenderness, gear and, let’s face it, you’re fucking hot in your dress uniform. But the moment anal came up, so did the walls.”

I’m listening to her. It’s true. But I had always thought anal was gross. It just never crossed my mind that it might be anything else but gross.

“So, you’ve had these walls in place for decades, Jim. Decades!” She says in a calm, soothing voice. “So, when you finally did it, the walls came down.”

“That makes sense,” I said. Thinking and listening to her.

“But, when they came down, it exposed you to a lot of new sensations that you haven’t had any experience with. That’s why it was so intense for you last night. It’s all brand new to you. You don’t have a coping mechanism yet. So, your subconscious is trying to find ways for you to grasp and control these new feelings.”

“You said that I had years of walls come tumbling down and all those sensations were all brand new to me. Could this be a way of my mind trying to create a coping mechanism?” I ask her, remembering our conversation.

“It’s possible,” she says, slowly. “When we fucked earlier tonight, I know it felt very intense for me because I had finally broken out of the funk I was in. And it was intense, Jim. At least for me it was.”

“It was for me, too,” I say, with a smile. “That white wall of pleasure was just erupting all over my body, then it was concentrated, then it wasn’t. Then it felt like it was on the tip of my tongue as I was eating you out and you were very…responsive…to it.”

“White wall of pleasure?” she repeats with a question. “Is that what you are calling it?”

“Yes,” I nod my head. “It’s the only way to describe it. There’s also been blue lightning, too.”

“I guess I’m not as imaginative as you are, Jim,” she says with a smile. “I just feel the intensity of it. It’s like the pleasure is deeper than it has been before, if that makes sense.”

“It makes as much sense as my seeing colors with it,” I smile, as I kiss her again.

“We’re both relearning, Jim,” she says, leaning into me. Then with a sigh, she says, “I hate to change the subject…”

“But you need to change the subject,” I saw with a quirk of a smile.

“Lisa still hasn’t been able to get in touch with Matt,” she says, sitting up from her lean.

“I know, Paul told me he couldn’t get in touch with him, either,” I say, remembering our conversation. “He told me how many times he tried to contact him. Then he told me how many times Lisa tried to contact him.”

“Yeah, she is worried sick for him,” Char says. “It was really effecting her work, today.”

“Wow,” I say, amazed. Normally, nothing distracts Lisa. She’s one of the most laser focused people I’ve ever met.

“I know,” Char says. “I reminded her that you went no contact for hours when you left, too.”

“I’m sorry for that, dear,” I say, pulling her in for a hug. “I was so pissed off. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Especially you three. I turned my phone off.”

“But you came home in less than 24 hours. Matt has been no contact for 72 hours. She asked if the two of us could help find him,” Char says as we break the hug.

“Paul asked me the same thing as we were coming home,” I say. “Also, there is something that did happen that I forgot to tell you.”

“Which is what?” Char asks.

“Traffic on the base is starting to be bad, because of all the new construction that has started. He was trying to get in touch with Matt and failing. He started to break down and cry. I quickly pulled over, into a parking lot by the main gate. I hugged him as he cried himself out. He asked me to help him find Matt. Then he kissed me,” I tell her. I am not going to keep secrets from my wife. That’s what got us into this mess to start with.

“You did say you slept with him while Matt and I were gone,” Char says with no hint of jealousy or envy. “I was kind of curious if anything else would happen.”

“Welllllllll, that’s not all that happened,” I say, feeling my checks start to warm.

“What else happened?” Char asked me.

“Well, there were people walking by and I know some people saw us kissing,” I said.

“I’m not sure how that’s any of their business,” Char says, hotly.

“Well, it’s against the UCMJ, first of all,” I say. “I don’t see any harm coming from it but I didn’t want you to get to work and hear about it; since there are married couples that work on base and the FBI office.”

“I appreciate that, dear,” Char says with amusement. “I haven’t had a chance to ask you this yet but now is as good a time as any.”

“Shoot,” I say with a smile.

“Do you still want to have sex with Matt?” she asks, looking right into my eyes.

“That’s a good question,” I say, sighing, scratching the back of my head with my right hand. “I really did enjoy what he was doing to me. I did respond strongly to it. There were so many Pros to it. But it all centered on the blackmail. If I have sex with him again, will it be the same, if he doesn’t have that leverage?”

“Why does he need the leverage?” Char asks. “Why not just submit to his Big Dick Superiority? You certainly had no issues with that.”

“Are you admitting it’s real?” I say, with a smile.

“As Josh said, it’s real to you,” she says smiling back. “And quit avoiding the question.”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” I say, sighing. “I want to say yes, because it was a lot of fun. And it was working well. But with all that’s been happening, I haven’t been able to give it a lot of thought.”

“Do you want to have sex with Paul, again?” Char asks me.

“Yeah,” I say immediately, “I do.”

“No need to think about it?”

“Not even for a moment,” I say. “Honestly, Char, here’s the fucked up thing: If I can have sex with Matt in the morning, you in the evening and somehow fit Paul in, I think I would be very, very happy. But how can I tell Paul, who’s literally my best friend and a beast in bed, that I want to fuck him and that I want his eighteen year old son to fuck and train me, too? What would that do to their family dynamic? Think about it, Char. Here’s their morning conversation after you pick Lisa up from work:

Matt: Hey Dad, I’m going to train and fuck Captain Cocksucker, dump a load into him, and get him all hot and bothered for you, later tonight.

Paul: That’s great, son. (fist bump) Fuck him good so he’s all primed and ready to fuck me good and dump a load into me.

Matt: Will do, dad. Love ya!

Paul: Love you, too, son!”

“Oh, good God, Jim, you and your imagination,” she says laughing.

“I’m serious, Char,” I exclaim. “You heard how fucked up that sounds.”

“Yeah, it does sound fucked up,” she admits. “It’s funny but fucked up.”

“Yeah, it is funny,” I say, as look at my left cargo pocket. My phone is in there and it starts buzzing. I pull it out and look at who’s calling.

Holy shit, it’s Matt!

I show the phone to Char, “Answer it,” she says.

I put it on speaker.

“Matt,” I say as I answer the phone.

“YOU KISSED MY FATHER??!?!?!?!?!” He yells through the phone.

Fuck

 

[Sklar]

***********************STORY BREAK*********************

Hello everyone, I just wanted to take a moment to clarify a few things.

First of all, I want to apologize to everyone.

I had a very specific way I wanted to go with the sequel. I wanted to deal with the mental and emotional aspect of the ending from the first book. I couldn’t think of a way to bring sex into it, right at the beginning because of the emotional upheaval that Jim and family was going through.

But the feedback I was getting was people wanted the sex and I didn’t know how to bring it in sooner than I had originally planned. And that stumped me. How could I bring it back, sooner, and make it seem natural?

That stumped me and, honestly, threw me into a tailspin, as it was so outside the storyline I had envisioned. That’s why there haven’t been as many updates as I would have liked.

I am so sorry about that.

Then my writer’s block started to get chipped away and fractures started forming and ideas started to play out.

That’s where the sex scene with Char came from. To be very upfront with you, I don’t think that scene was one of my best. I hope you enjoyed it, but, overall, I wasn’t happy with it.

I do like it when people start talking about the characters so I do want to give a shout out to the following people:

@Stephenmass

@Mxexpert

@As_tas

@SacMichaelCA

@Anime2

@fitguy1

@JackM – Thank you for thinking this is a thriller. I never would have thought that. I do appreciate your thoughts.

@ndamood4sum – you had some great thoughts. To which I will directly answer those below:

The entire time I was reading this, I was thinking why Jim seemed like he couldn't be bothered with Matt's disappearance considering how he keeps thinking about him. Am I the only one that thinks it's weird how neither Paul or Jim have any idea where Matt could be when their job focuses around PsyOps?

A couple things here. Jim’s first and foremost thought was for his marriage and wife. Nothing else was/is as important to him than that. Until that was settled/taken care of, nothing else mattered to him. Since this story is solely told from Jim’s perspective, we don’t get to see what the other characters are doing, unless they tell Jim directly.

When I read a story, if it has the ring of truth to it, even if it is fiction it kicks it up a notch. Paul & Jim on a military base sitting in a car kissing as people walk by and parked pretty close to the bases exit isn't something that I could ever see happening in real life.

This wasn’t done accidentally and with no forethought. I was active duty Marines. I know that’s not supposed to happen and, as you saw at the end of the last chapter, there will be plenty of repercussions because of that <evil hint>

If you insist on having conversations with yourself in your mind, can you please find another way to show this instead of using quotation marks. Maybe use the single quotation mark. Yes I know that not how they are supposed to be used, but there should be a way to identify when you are talking to someone else or having a conversation in your head.

All flashbacks and the inner voice conversations should be in italics. As I read back through the story, I can see that the italics on LPSG isn’t as strong as it is on my word document. But they are there. That is how you know it’s an inner voice or a memory.

I really do love reading everyone’s thoughts and feelings for the characters. To me, as an author, that means that you are both invested in the characters and care about them, too.

As a final matter, I could have sworn I had written in a news update, either in Blackmail or Betrayal, like the sub plot with Pharma Inc, either on TV or the radio, about a death of a German Socialite. I can’t seem to find it and I am wondering if anyone else recalls reading about that.

I do appreciate all the feedback but more importantly, I do appreciate all of you!

You all help to make this story better!

All the best,

Mark (Sklar)

 

[Mxexpert]

***********************STORY BREAK*********************

Hello everyone, I just wanted to take a moment to clarify a few things.

First of all, I want to apologize to everyone.

I had a very specific way I wanted to go with the sequel. I wanted to deal with the mental and emotional aspect of the ending from the first book. I couldn’t think of a way to bring sex into it, right at the beginning because of the emotional upheaval that Jim and family was going through.

But the feedback I was getting was people wanted the sex and I didn’t know how to bring it in sooner than I had originally planned. And that stumped me. How could I bring it back, sooner, and make it seem natural?

That stumped me and, honestly, threw me into a tailspin, as it was so outside the storyline I had envisioned. That’s why there haven’t been as many updates as I would have liked.

I am so sorry about that.

Then my writer’s block started to get chipped away and fractures started forming and ideas started to play out.

That’s where the sex scene with Char came from. To be very upfront with you, I don’t think that scene was one of my best. I hope you enjoyed it, but, overall, I wasn’t happy with it.

I do like it when people start talking about the characters so I do want to give a shout out to the following people:

@Stephenmass

@Mxexpert

@As_tas

@SacMichaelCA

@Anime2

@fitguy1

@JackM – Thank you for thinking this is a thriller. I never would have thought that. I do appreciate your thoughts.

@ndamood4sum – you had some great thoughts. To which I will directly answer those below:

The entire time I was reading this, I was thinking why Jim seemed like he couldn't be bothered with Matt's disappearance considering how he keeps thinking about him. Am I the only one that thinks it's weird how neither Paul or Jim have any idea where Matt could be when their job focuses around PsyOps?

A couple things here. Jim’s first and foremost thought was for his marriage and wife. Nothing else was/is as important to him than that. Until that was settled/taken care of, nothing else mattered to him. Since this story is solely told from Jim’s perspective, we don’t get to see what the other characters are doing, unless they tell Jim directly.

When I read a story, if it has the ring of truth to it, even if it is fiction it kicks it up a notch. Paul & Jim on a military base sitting in a car kissing as people walk by and parked pretty close to the bases exit isn't something that I could ever see happening in real life.

This wasn’t done accidentally and with no forethought. I was active duty Marines. I know that’s not supposed to happen and, as you saw at the end of the last chapter, there will be plenty of repercussions because of that <evil hint>

If you insist on having conversations with yourself in your mind, can you please find another way to show this instead of using quotation marks. Maybe use the single quotation mark. Yes I know that not how they are supposed to be used, but there should be a way to identify when you are talking to someone else or having a conversation in your head.

All flashbacks and the inner voice conversations should be in italics. As I read back through the story, I can see that the italics on LPSG isn’t as strong as it is on my word document. But they are there. That is how you know it’s an inner voice or a memory.

I really do love reading everyone’s thoughts and feelings for the characters. To me, as an author, that means that you are both invested in the characters and care about them, too.

As a final matter, I could have sworn I had written in a news update, either in Blackmail or Betrayal, like the sub plot with Pharma Inc, either on TV or the radio, about a death of a German Socialite. I can’t seem to find it and I am wondering if anyone else recalls reading about that.

I do appreciate all the feedback but more importantly, I do appreciate all of you!

You all help to make this story better!

All the best,

Mark (Sklar)

Thanks for sharing Sklar (Mark). I thi k you should focus in your story. I like it from the beginning, that erotic story should be to be. Not only sex. It is so boring after one or 2 chapter. Meanwhile your story had turn to so many surprises and I love.
Please continue your thought.

 

[Anime2]

***********************STORY BREAK*********************

Hello everyone, I just wanted to take a moment to clarify a few things.

First of all, I want to apologize to everyone.

I had a very specific way I wanted to go with the sequel. I wanted to deal with the mental and emotional aspect of the ending from the first book. I couldn’t think of a way to bring sex into it, right at the beginning because of the emotional upheaval that Jim and family was going through.

But the feedback I was getting was people wanted the sex and I didn’t know how to bring it in sooner than I had originally planned. And that stumped me. How could I bring it back, sooner, and make it seem natural?

That stumped me and, honestly, threw me into a tailspin, as it was so outside the storyline I had envisioned. That’s why there haven’t been as many updates as I would have liked.

I am so sorry about that.

Then my writer’s block started to get chipped away and fractures started forming and ideas started to play out.

That’s where the sex scene with Char came from. To be very upfront with you, I don’t think that scene was one of my best. I hope you enjoyed it, but, overall, I wasn’t happy with it.

I do like it when people start talking about the characters so I do want to give a shout out to the following people:

@Stephenmass

@Mxexpert

@As_tas

@SacMichaelCA

@Anime2

@fitguy1

@JackM – Thank you for thinking this is a thriller. I never would have thought that. I do appreciate your thoughts.

@ndamood4sum – you had some great thoughts. To which I will directly answer those below:

The entire time I was reading this, I was thinking why Jim seemed like he couldn't be bothered with Matt's disappearance considering how he keeps thinking about him. Am I the only one that thinks it's weird how neither Paul or Jim have any idea where Matt could be when their job focuses around PsyOps?

A couple things here. Jim’s first and foremost thought was for his marriage and wife. Nothing else was/is as important to him than that. Until that was settled/taken care of, nothing else mattered to him. Since this story is solely told from Jim’s perspective, we don’t get to see what the other characters are doing, unless they tell Jim directly.

When I read a story, if it has the ring of truth to it, even if it is fiction it kicks it up a notch. Paul & Jim on a military base sitting in a car kissing as people walk by and parked pretty close to the bases exit isn't something that I could ever see happening in real life.

This wasn’t done accidentally and with no forethought. I was active duty Marines. I know that’s not supposed to happen and, as you saw at the end of the last chapter, there will be plenty of repercussions because of that <evil hint>

If you insist on having conversations with yourself in your mind, can you please find another way to show this instead of using quotation marks. Maybe use the single quotation mark. Yes I know that not how they are supposed to be used, but there should be a way to identify when you are talking to someone else or having a conversation in your head.

All flashbacks and the inner voice conversations should be in italics. As I read back through the story, I can see that the italics on LPSG isn’t as strong as it is on my word document. But they are there. That is how you know it’s an inner voice or a memory.

I really do love reading everyone’s thoughts and feelings for the characters. To me, as an author, that means that you are both invested in the characters and care about them, too.

As a final matter, I could have sworn I had written in a news update, either in Blackmail or Betrayal, like the sub plot with Pharma Inc, either on TV or the radio, about a death of a German Socialite. I can’t seem to find it and I am wondering if anyone else recalls reading about that.

I do appreciate all the feedback but more importantly, I do appreciate all of you!

You all help to make this story better!

All the best,

Mark (Sklar)

Hey @Skylar I've currently taken a break from the story for now. Not because I'm not enjoying but quite the opposite it's so good I want there to be more chapters for me to binge read lol.

Also please don't change up your orginal plan just for people that are opposed with reading sex. Stay true to your good writing and story telling. Adding a sex scene just for the sake of it is always annoying to read and lazy you can always tell.

 

[Sklar]

Chapter 16



“Hello Matt,” I say, ignoring his yelling, “are you safe?”

“DON’T IGNORE THE QUESTION!” he yells through the phone.

“I don’t have serious conversations with people who yell at me,” I say, as I hang up the phone.

“What are you doing?” Char asks concerned. I hold up my right index finger and give her a goofy look.

RING

RING

It’s Matt. I put it back on speaker.

“DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON ME?” he yells with indignation.

“I don’t have serious conversations with people who yell at me,” I calmly repeat, looking at Char with a bit of a smile.

“AFTER ALL HE…,” I hang up the phone.

RING

RING

RING – “Jim,” Char says with concern. I just hold up my right index finger.

RING

Before it can go to voicemail, I answer the phone.

“Are you going to have an adult conversation with me? Or are you going to behave like a spoiled brat? I’ll respect the first one. I’ll hang up on the second one,” I say, calmly looking at Char. Who is shaking her head in disbelief.

Pause

Pause

I can see him, wherever he is, glaring at his phone. Trying to control himself, since he is full of anger.

Pause

“You’re just wasting my time, Matt,” I say. “You have 5 seconds to calm down and talk to me or I am going to hang up.

5

4

3

2

1.”

“Fine,” Matt says very sullenly <dick throb>. FUCK! Power is still a turn on for me and I am now controlling him! Fucking focus! “Is this better?”

“It’s a start,” I say. “Before we go any further, Matt, are you safe?”

“What do you care?” he says sullenly.

“Is that an attitude, I’m hearing?” I say, sternly. <dick throb> God damn, it. Can we please stop. I can’t afford to be distracted right now.

“Of course it’s an attitude, you’re hearing,” he says with some heat. “You’ve made zero effort to get in touch with me. I could have been dead along the side of some road and. You. Didn’t. Care! And then after all he did to you, I find out you’re kissing my father? By the main gate! And everyone saw it! So, once I was out of the picture, you made a move on my father? How is that supposed to make me feel? What if Char finds out?”

“Char already knows, Matt,” Char says with a bit of humor in her voice.

There’s a gasp and a long pause as Matt digests this.

“Matt,” Char continues in a pleasant voice, “I know you’re still there. I already know about Jim kissing your father.”

“Y-you do?” he softly stammers. Which makes sense. With me he feels that he can be more stern because of the nature of our relationship during the blackmail. He was the man in charge of me. He can’t seriously think he can still get away with that, can he? With Char, though, he can’t be that way. Obviously, with her beside me, that threw him off.

“Of course, I do,” she says, as if it’s the most natural thing in the entire world. Here’s my husband, Jim Clinton. He’s a Captain in the US Army. And he kisses his best friend in front of everyone with his tongue. “Here’s what I don’t know, and I hope you can clarify something for me.”

“Wh-what is it?” he stammers. Fuck yeah. It’s about time he fucking stuttered! <DICK Throb> Jesus fucking Christ. Will you stop?

“Even though I was crying at the time,” Char says, “I distinctly saw you look at Jim and say: ‘Jim, I am so sorry. For everything.’ What were you so sorry for?”

Jesus, that was him basically apologizing for blackmailing me. But he doesn’t know that Char knows about that now.

“That…that was for the whole situation with mom and dad and them arranging the affair,” he says. That’s right, he left before Char’s involvement was revealed. If he blew up for his parent’s involvement with that, how will he react when he finds out about Char’s? Except for that slight stumble in the beginning, it would have sounded so natural. Like that was the actual truth. She is nodding her head, like she does, as she processes information.

“And, naturally, you were upset about that?” she says, still nodding.

“Of course, I was upset,” he says. “Who wouldn’t be?”

“And you were concerned about myself and Jim,” she says, still nodding her head.

“Of course, I was concerned about Jim,” he says. Then, quickly, “and you.”

“I appreciate that, Matt,” Char says in a caring voice. “I really do.”

“You’re welcome, Char,” he says, softly.

“But,” she says, “if you really were concerned about us, why didn’t you call Jim? Or me for that matter? Why were you waiting for a call from us? More specifically, why were you waiting for a call from Jim?”

Silence.

More silence.

Then a soft sniffling can be heard.

“I’m sorry,” he says, softly between sniffles.

“Matt,” I say, concern lacing my voice, “where are you? Let me come pick you up.”

“No,” he says, very quietly.

Damn it, I’m not going to let him stay wherever he is. I’m going to find him and bring his ass home.

But my voice doesn’t show that emotion.

“Why not, Matt?” I say. “We are all concerned for you.”

“No,” he says strongly, “I don’t want to see my parents. They betrayed you! They set you up! They are dead to me.”

Char gasps a little as he says that.

“Am I dead to you?” I ask him. “Is Char?”

“No, of course you aren’t,” he says. “Neither is Char. But my parents showed me they are only concerned for themselves. No concern about you. None whatsoever. And none for Char, either. Why should I care about them when they have no remorse about what they did.”

That’s not true. But, again, he left before they did show remorse.

“Because they love and care about you, Matt,” I say trying to project those emotions into my voice. “You know how many times they’ve tried to call you. That isn’t the actions of people who have no remorse.”

“That’s not remorse,” he says, angrily, “that’s guilt. And I won’t absolve them of it.”

“Matt,” Char says, “No one is asking you to absolve anyone of anything. They are concerned about you. Your mother was totally lost at work today. All she did was sit at her desk and either call or text you. When did she call you?”

“Every hour,” he says, softly.

“When did she text you?” Char asks.

“Every half hour,” he says, softly.

“When did Paul call you?” I ask him, fully knowing the answer already.

“He was the opposite,” Matt says, sniffling more, “texting on the hour, calling on the half hour.”

“Those aren’t the actions of people who are guilty, Matt,” I say, again filling my voice with love and caring, “that’s the actions of your parents. Who love you and are worried about you.”

“I know,” Matt says, as he starts to cry softly.

“Where are you, Matt?” I ask again. “Let me come get you.”

“No,” he says, his cracking, “I can’t see them. It hurts too much.”

Okay, he’s just being stubborn now. Just like a fucking teenager who thinks he knows everything. So, let’s play up to that.

“Let’s make a bet, Matt,” I say in a friendly voice. Char turns to look at me.

“What do you mean, ‘make a bet?’” he asks, getting his voice back under control.

“Just that, let’s make a bet,” I say with confidence.

“What’s the bet?” he asks

“That I can find you before midnight tomorrow,” I say projecting confidence in my voice.

“What happens when…IF…you find me, Jim?” he asks, gaining confidence in his voice.

“That you, myself, Char, Paul and Josh, all meet and we talk this all out and get it behind us,” I say, in a perfectly reasonable tone. “If, after that, you still want nothing to do with your parents, you are free to go your own way. But that meeting is a must.”

“And if you can’t find me?” he says.

“Then you are free to do whatever the hell you think is best,” I say. “I just need to ask you one, maybe, two questions.”

“What’s the first question?” he asks, taking the bait.

“Nu uh,” I say, “agree to the terms.”

“I will agree to the terms only if it’s you that comes looking for me. Just you. Not Char. Not mom. Not dad. Not even Captain McClendon. No one but you,” he says, sounding a bit more like himself. Just like I expected. “Anyone else voids the bet.”

“Then it’s agreed,” I say, with a smile on my face. And, just to make it more enticing, “Just you. And me. Alone.”

“Agreed,” he says, with confidence. “What’s your question?”

“Are you still on base?” I ask.

“Yes.”

“Then you can not leave the base,” I say, “you have to stay where you are.”

“Not a problem,” he says. “You won’t find me.”

“We’ll see, Matt,” I say, smiling, then hang up on him. I start to chuckle.

This will be fun!

 

[fitguy1]

This is gonna be good …

 

[Beefytank]

I love your writing. Re-read Blackmail a week or so ago. Glad to have Matt back in the picture!

 

[Sklar]

Chapter 17



“What on earth are you smiling about?” Char asks with disbelief. “How are you going to find him by midnight tomorrow? You have no idea where he is at.”

“Actually,” I say, with a big shit eating grin, “I know exactly where he is at. So do you, if you really think about it.” Char just sits there and looks at me. Clearly, not understanding. “During our break from the three way. Right here on the couch. That’s when he told us.”

Char takes a few moments to replay what happened that night. After she had measured Matt and we found out his true size <dick throb> Fucker, stop it. We had all moved to the couch and Matt confessed to us his secret fear. Suddenly, Char’s eyes go wide.

“You mean, he’s with…” she starts to say.

“That’s exactly who he is with,” I say with a grin. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. And I can easily verify it tomorrow by seeing who suddenly shows up around the office. But, even if we are wrong, which we aren’t, he’s going to make it very easy for me to find him.”

“Why do you say that?” Char says.

“What’s the one thing he’s wanted, since this has all started?” I ask her with a grin.

“He’s wanted you…OOOHHH,” she says, catching on.

“Yep,” I quip back at her. “Do you think he’s going to miss a chance to have Captain Cocksucker on his knees in front him?”

“Captain Cocksucker?” she chuckles as she looks at me.

“Yeah,” I say, blushing a little, “that was a nickname he gave me when this first started going down. Captain Clinton. Captain Cocksucker. He then abbreviated it to CC, so he could use it in public, if he chose too.”

“Well, that makes a lot more sense, then,” she says, grinning.

“What do you mean?” I ask, look at her.

“There were a few times in LA that he referred to you as CC,” she says, with a grin.

“When did those happen?” I ask.

“In the first few days, when people were asking if I was his mother,” Char says, thinking back. “I’d say I was representing his parents, and my husband wasn’t able to come. He said that you were Captain Clinton, also known as CC. It felt kind of flat, to be honest with you. But I figured it was something that an eighteen year old would say. So, conversely, it worked. Now, I actually get it.”

“Okay, my turn to ask you a question,” I say, turning towards her.

“Go ahead,” she smiles back to me.

“How was the sex with Matt?” I ask. This isn’t coming from a place of jealousy. We both knew, when she headed to LA, that she was going to have sex with Matt. That she would help to train him to be a better lover. I’m curious as to how he actually performed.

Uh huh, my inner voice says.

Hey, you’re back!

I’ve never gone away. With all that’s happening in here, I’ve been busy. That migraine did a number on me, too. Remember how I told you how things are messed up in here?

Yeah, I do.

That was positively OCD neat freak clean compared to what’s going on now. And, not to get distracted, you ARE jealous. You’re jealous that he would fuck her better than you ever could because he can stretch her and reach places you never can. Because he has the bigger, superior dick. Just like you did with Lisa, with your bigger, superior dick compared to Paul’s.

Fuck.

“Well,” Char says, sighing, interrupting my conversation, “to be blunt, it was what you would expect from an eighteen year old with a big dick. Lots of energy. Lots of enthusiasm. But nothing else. No style. No connection. When I told you and Josh about my first time being disappointing, it was almost like that. The difference being Matt and I know each other. So that did help. But, honestly, he’s not you. Yes, we both got off, but you are the better fuck.”

<DICK THROB>

<ASS CLENCH>

<SPLURT>

Yeah, baby!

“Fuck,” I moan, as I rock back. Fuck, what man doesn’t want to hear his wife say how her husband is the best lay? But to hear her say that, when the other man has a monster cock and can’t perform well with it?

(French kiss) Priceless.

I look over at Char and see her smiling.

“I figured you would like that,” she says, smiling, as I sit back up. “I didn’t think you’d have a physical reaction to it.”

“I didn’t think so either,” I say, as I feel my splurt in my cammies. “But it is a head rush, to hear that. But I am presuming that was the first time you two were alone, together. The idea was we were going to mentor him, to become a better lover. It was expected that he wouldn’t be good the first few times.”

“Yes,” Char says, nodding. “He wasn’t. He did get better. A little better.”

“So, same question you asked me earlier, do you still want to have sex with him?” I ask.

“I feel that I have to,” she says, brushing her hair back. “We did agree to help him. Even though he did manipulate the situation. He needs to know how to use that, so he doesn’t hurt anyone. He was very afraid when he thought he was eight by eight. Then he found out his true size. Well, we saw how well that went down. Think of what he’d be like if he did actually hurt someone. Plus, what if he’s still growing? When he said he was going to fuck you, what were your thoughts?”

“I was literally shaking with fear, Char,” I said, remembering kneeling in the shower, his piss all over me. “All I could think about is being ripped in two.”

“How do you think he would have reacted to hurting you?” she asks.

“I’m not sure,” I say, thinking back. “I was too worried about trying to please him and keep him happy. He did say, a few different times, that he had plans for my ass. But he never told me what they were.”

“You never asked?” Char asks in disbelief.

“Oh, I asked,” I said, with a harsh laugh, “he said that I didn’t have a need to know.”

“What?” Char says a bit hotly. “It’s your ass.”

“I know,” I say, ruefully. “But he kept that to himself. Honestly, in the beginning, I was grateful. I was having a hard time just learning to deep throat him and he was happy with that training. So, I had put it to the back of my mind and just concentrated on the deep throating. Focus on one thing, then another.”

“That makes sense,” Char says. “You do have that ability to focus on multiple things.”

“I honestly don’t think he had a plan beyond keeping me on a short leash, so to speak, and training me to deep throat him,” I say. “He made very sure to train me to deep throat him. It wasn’t until the three way that he actually had his cock on my ass. Previously, he had stroked up and down my ass crack, like we do when I fuck your breasts. And when his cock was on my ass, it just felt so goooooood, Char. That white wall of pleasure was washing over me and it made me more relaxed and calm and it magnified everything. When I started bouncing off of it, as you sucked me, I wanted it in me. I wanted it in me BADLY. I reached back and spread my own ass cheeks wider, so he could get in there. I was starting to impale myself on it. Then you stopped. That was like throwing a wrench into the works. But, fuck me, I would have gladly ripped my ass in two to have it in me.”

Char looks at me a few moments and leans in and kisses me.

Tenderly.

“What was that for?” I ask, blushing a little.

“I really do love you, Jim,” she says, radiating love. Then it hits me. That’s why she “felt” odd on my HUD. It shows her love for me. “That took a lot of courage to admit that. Here’s the problem, it’s not me he is excited for.”

“Yeah,” I say, taking my right hand and scratching the back of my neck. “I was expecting that. He has Army Captain Cocksucker at his disposal. Well, he did at the time. Hell, I was excited for it, too. He was going through the motions, wasn’t he?”

“To a certain extent, yes,” Char says, “At eighteen sex is sex. And I know he wasn’t faking enthusiasm. He wanted to have sex with me. During the three way, I didn’t catch it because we were all over each other. But one on one, it’s you he is really excited for, Jim.”

“That’s because of the blackmail, Char,” I say. “He had absolute control over me. That’s powerful and addicting. What he learned from you, he was going to do to me.”

“It’s more than that, Jim,” Char says, as she reaches over and grabs my hard cock through my cammies. What the fuck? No dick throb? My cock just got hard? Talking about Matt fucking me?? “He’s gay. I have no doubt about that, anymore. And he’s in love with you.”

<DICK THROB>

<ASS CLENCH>

<SSSSPPPPLLLLUUUURRRRTTTT>

Fuck

 

[fitguy1]

Keep em cumming Sklar!

 

[Sklar]

Chapter 18



“What?” I say, in disbelief but, damn, that splurt felt good! “He’s not gay, Char. I accused him of that the second day. But he flat out denied it. He told me he was going to live out every sexual fantasy he’s ever had on me. He told me that I was a living sex toy for him to experiment on and learn from. He said that when I got hard in his presence, when he gets me addicted to his cock and scent, that’s how he would know that he’s mastered how to use his cock.”

“Jim,” Char says, gently squeezing my hard cock, “you are getting hard for him. You’re cumming just at the thought of him.”

“How did we go from him to me, Char?” I ask, a bit defensively.

“Because, blackmail or not, you are still responding to him,” Char says gently. “Do you like having sex with him?”

<SSSSPPPPLLLUUURRRTTTTTTTTT>

“FFFFuuuucccckkkkkkkk,” I moan as the cum just pisses out of me, sending pleasure all up and down my body. I sniff a little as my nose starts to run and my chest tightens. “God forgive me, Char, but I do. The night Josh stayed over, after you left, then after Josh left, fuck! That was the hottest sex Matt and I had. Afterwards, as he was eating breakfast, I basically told him that he has mastered me.” <dick throb> “But that he has a long way to go before he actually knows how to use his dick. I told him that I have decades of sexual experience and it's in his best interest to let me use that experience on him. THAT got him hard. He stood up from the table and, just like I did to you and Josh, he showed me that huge erection he had in his shorts. Do I like having sex with him, Char? No. Do I love being subservient to his sexual desires? Fuck yes! I told you before, it’s the most fucked up thing, Char. Being subservient to him makes me a better man for you. It made me a better officer. The major even said so himself, not knowing what was going on. Hell, it made me realize my own feelings for Paul.”

I take a few moments to catch my breath and let get my emotions under control.

“But,” I say with a sigh, “is he gay? He says he isn’t. I have to go with that. I’m not gay or bi. But look at how I am reacting to him. I’ve already told you that if I was gay, Paul is the man I’d want to spend the rest of my life with. But I don’t react the same way with Paul. That’s probably because I’m me with Paul, the big, dicked stud and he accepts that. But I’m not gay. I’m not bi. I’m straight. And you are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, Char.”

I just look at Char She is looking at me. She is still holding my hard cock through my cammies. Hell, I can feel that stain growing. She is a mixture of love, awe, surprise and respect. Fuck, it seems that my interrogation skills are rapidly improving. My life may not be, but my skills are.

“And when I am with you, I just want to hold you. I know you can protect yourself. But I want to protect you, too. I want to make you smile. I want to be your rock, your foundation. I want make sure you are taken care of. I want you to know that you are the number one, most important person in my life. It ripped my soul out, thinking I was going to lose you, Char. I will never again take you for granted. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m just so very glad that you are my wife,” I say as the tears start to fall. Lord, I’ve been crying ever since Sunday night. But, fuck me, if crying isn’t therapeutic, too.

“Do it,” she says, as she smiles but tears of happiness are falling from her face.

“Do what?” I say, wiping the tears away with the back of my hand.

“Be his sub,” she says, love and caring pouring out of her. “If that’s what you truly want, Jim, I will not stop you. I know who you love and I am always, always, going to have your back. Josh may be right that there is plenty of blame to go around. But if this helps to make us stronger, do it. If this is what it takes to help fix what I helped to break, do it.”

“I don’t know if that’s what I truly want, Char,” I say. “And this isn’t relevant at the moment, as he’s not here, yet.”

“We both know where he is,” Char says, smiling. “When you bring him here all three of us can talk. I have things I need to say to him, too.”

“Such as?” I ask, giving her a crooked smile.

“You mean aside from him maybe being a father? Aside from him blackmailing my husband?”” she says with a mischievous grin.

“Yes,” I say, “what else?”

“How did he get his hands on those text messages and pictures?” she says. “How safe of a location are they hidden in? But, more importantly, what was his plans for your ass? Inquiring minds want to know!”

I just stare at her for a moment, humor is rolling off of her and I start to giggle. So does she. Then laugh. So does she. We collapse onto the couch, in each others arms, laughing hard. Laughing can be therapeutic, too.

“Oh, Lord, I needed that,” she says, catching her breath, as we start to sit back up.

“So did I,” I say, doing the same. My phone rings. It can’t be Matt. Why would he be calling back so soon. I look at the caller ID: Josh.

What’s he calling so late for?

 

[Sklar]

Chapter 19



“Hey, Josh,” I say. “Char is here. You’re on speaker.”

“Hello James, Charlotte,” Josh says good naturedly, “we’re over at Paul and Lisa’s. I know it’s late, but we saw your lights on. Can we come over?”

It’s close to midnight. What’s Josh doing over there? Who’s the “we”, he was talking about? I look over at Char, she nods her head.

“That’s fine, Josh. Can you give us 20 minutes, though?” I ask. I need to take a quick shower and clean myself up.

“Sure,” he says, “see you soon.”

We hang up with each other.

“What do you think they want to talk about?” Char asks.

“I’m not sure,” I say, standing up. “I’m more curious about who is with Josh.”

“What do you mean?” Char asks as she stands up and we walk back to the bedroom.

“Josh said ‘we’re over at Paul and Lisa’s.’ If it was just him, he would have said I’m over at Paul and Lisa’s. Who else is with him?”

“Someone from work?” Char guesses as we enter the bedroom.

“That would be a safe guess,” I say as I start to take off my clothes. Jacket and t-shirt in the hamper. Take off my belt and roll it up and put it on the shelf. “I would guess it’s Robbins. Or Meyers. But I’m not sure what’s so important that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning.”

“Maybe something to do with Karl?” Char asks.

“That makes the most sense,” I say, as I shuck out of my trousers and underwear. Fuck. I made a mess down there. I throw them all in the hamper. “We still haven’t found him, yet. But if we knew where he was, they’d be going after him, not calling on me and Paul.”

“Paul and I,” Char says with a grin.

“Okay, Pronunciation Police,” I grin back at her. “Let me jump in the shower and get ready for whomever will be there.” She grins back at my use of proper English this time then gives me a kiss on the cheek as she heads back towards the living room. I head into the bathroom to take a shower.

Suddenly, everything seems to be happening at once.

This meeting with Josh.

Matt resurfacing after being gone for days.

Getting us all together so we can hash this situation out and put it behind us.

Trying to figure out who the traitor or traitors are in Meyers company.

Waiting for the deputy director and the IDF.

Still have to work on that Guyana/Venezuela report for the major.

Just another day in the life of Psychological Operations!

I finish up my shower and jump into some casual clothes.

As I head down the hallway, my HUD picks up five people walking up my driveway. Who are the other two? I know that three of them are Josh, Paul and Lisa. One of them feels off, too. Well, not off. That person feels like Char does in my HUD. But that shows Char’s love for me. Who else would feel that way?

We all arrive at the door at the same time. Just different sides of it. I open the door to see who’s there.

Since I know who three of them are, I look for the fourth and fifth person. When I open up the door, I only see four people, though. And the fourth person is Major Rababbi?? I take a glance to where the fifth person should be, which is besides Josh, and there is a wash of panic and that fifth person disappears from my HUD, leaving just the four of them.

What the fuck?

“Sir,” I say, standing back, not letting my confusion show on my face, “please, come in. All of you.” They all come in and I shut the door. I bring them into the living room. Char had brought the kitchen chairs out so we would have enough seating. Everyone takes a seat. Major Rababbi takes the recliner, Paul and Lisa sit on the couch. Char and I (there’s that proper English) take the chairs she brought in. “What’s going on?”

“James,” Josh starts, “there has been an operation ongoing here at the base.”

“What operation?” I ask. “Why wasn’t I informed of it previously? What’s it’s mission?”

“You weren’t informed of it, Jim,” Major Rababbi says, “because at the time, you didn’t have a need to know. Now you do.”

“What changed, sir?” I ask him.

“Your deduction of the traitors in the company,” he says. Char gasps at this. Interestingly, Lisa does not. But that makes sense if they were over at their house. But conversely, Lisa isn’t Army. She’s FBI. She doesn’t have a need to know. But she does.

“I’m sorry for interrupting,” Char says, then looks at me, “there are traitors in the unit?”

I nod my head.

“Remember when I said I had a bunch of crap I have to take care of and can’t talk to anyone about?” Char nods her head. “This is one of them.”

Char calmly absorbs that information, but I know she is running through the people she knows at the base in her head. It’s only human to do that.

“So, what is this mission?” I ask. “I presume it has something to do with Meyers company.”

“It does,” Josh says. “The mission is being called Mission Impossible Capture Enemies.”

I take my right hand and facepalm myself, shaking my head.

“M.I.C.E? You came up with the name, didn’t you?” I say, turning my attention to Paul. Who is just grinning his ass off, radiating humor.

“Yep,” he says, pleased with himself.

“Ugh,” I groan.

“Gentlemen,” Major Rababbi says, gently.

“Sorry, sir,” I say as I sit up straighter.

“No need to apologize, Jim,” the major says. “It’s late and we are in your home, after all. I would like to keep this a bit more focused, if you don’t mind.”

“Yes, sir,” I say.

“For the past year and a half,” the major begins, “the upper brass had noticed something odd about Karl’s leadership and personnel. As we all know, he’s had the highest amount of wounded during training and the highest amount of staff changes. When he first took command of his unit, it’s only natural that there were some changes in the higher ranks. He had slowly replaced all the senior leadership there. Again, turnover is to be expected when a new Commanding Officer comes on board. The only exception to that was the Executive Officer as he was newly promoted to his rank and position. We thought Karl would take him under his wing and train him. Instead, Karl whittled away any power he had. Since this was his first time as XO, he didn’t know what he didn’t know. I want to further emphasis that the XO had no knowledge of what was going on. He did feel that something was amiss but could never put his finger on it. So, he took his concerns to the one person in the battalion that he trusted. Do you know who that would be, Jim?”

I take a few moments to think about it. Head lowered as I think, stroking my chin with my left hand. The major said very specifically that the XO went to someone in the battalion. So that lets out anyone at Regiment. So I turn my attention back to the battalion. If the XO didn’t trust the other senior staff then the only other person would be…

“The chaplain,” I say, confidently.

“Correct,” the major says. “Karl noticed that and nipped it in the bud. He was able to get the chaplain temporary additional duties at Guantanamo.”

“And since it was TAD, Karl wasn’t worried about replacing him, since TAD is usually one to three months,” I say, nodding at the genius of the plan. “He could keep approving the TAD and no one would be the wiser.”

“Correct,” the major says.

“I’m sorry for interrupting, again,” Char says. “Why are Lisa and I here? This seems like an internal Army investigation. Why are we being briefed on this? What does this have to do with the two of us?”

Now, that’s a damned good question. This is highly classified information. But the classification isn’t all that important. Both Paul and I have seriously high security classification. Both Char and Lisa have even higher security classification than either of us. So are cleared that way. But they really shouldn’t be here for this.

“Because our operative for this mission was able to flush Karl out of hiding,” the major says. “We believe that he, or one of his fellow traitors, will attempt to contact you, Charlotte.”

“Why would he be contacting me?” Char asks. Josh suddenly seems amused and Paul…

Psy Ops training kicks in.

Fuck. Paul “feels” the same as Char on my HUD.

Paul is in love with me.

And now he is a little embarrassed, but he is in love with me.

File it away for later.

“You’re the operative,” I say, turning to Paul. “It was the kiss. In front of the main gate.” And then after all he did to you, I find out you’re kissing my father? By the main gate! And everyone saw it! Matt’s words come back to me. “You made sure to be at a place where there would be a lot of military personnel and civilians at the same time. You wanted us to be seen.”

Fuck. I should be pissed off. But I’m not. I thought I could manipulate a situation. Paul is the true mastermind. No wonder Matt was able to pull off the blackmail so efficiently. He learned from his father. Paul took the situation of not being able to contact Matt and was able to blend it into his operation to find Karl and used it to actually get Karl pissed enough to break cover and make some kind of contact.

“I did want us to be seen, Jimmie,” Paul says. Proud but also has a bit of regret, too. He did what any of us would do on a mission, use it to our advantage. And he was, is, on a mission. “It would have been better if I could have brought you in earlier, but I was told no outside help. I’m sorry for that.”

Crap. Just like what I am doing with Josh and the major to find the traitors in Meyers company, the major said I couldn’t bring in Paul or Robbins.

Wait…

“Sir,” I say to the major. He looks at me with a slight grin on his face, expecting my next question. You don’t get to his level of experience by being an idiot. “We have concurrent missions going on with overlapping objectives. Can we merge the operations?”

“Yes, we can,” he says. “I wanted you to flesh out our plan more before I allowed Paul and Robbins to be brought in. However, Paul was able to get a rise out of Karl by using his homophobia against him.”

“Paul,” Char says, looking at him, “you used the gossip network to get information back to Karl. That’s pretty smart thinking. And you did get some kind of response otherwise you wouldn’t be here. What was that response?”

“I got a phone call,” Lisa says, smiling. “From an unlisted number, naturally. Since it was unlisted, I didn’t answer it. Then it called again. And again. Finally, I picked up and a distorted voice said that they have information that Paul is cheating on me.”

“You were expecting that call, weren’t you?” Char asks.

“Yes,” Lisa says, nodding. “The major allowed Paul to bring me on board. Paul explained the plan. I installed some recording apps on the phone. So I forwarded the message to Paul. I thought the plan was pretty good, knowing what I know of Karl and his psych profile.”

“Karl, actually called you?” I ask, amazed. Is he really that stupid?

“The voice was distorted. It was so Hollywood, it was comical,” Lisa said. “I told them to either offer proof or I am going to hang up. So they sent me the picture of Paul and Jim kissing in the car.”

“And that’s why you’re now being briefed, Charlotte,” Josh says. “You may get contacted, too. The situation actually works in our favor.”

“How so?” Char asks, looking at Josh.

“Both you and Lisa are highly trained and skilled FBI agents. You both can defend yourselves if need be. Karl has the mentality of someone in the 1950’s. Regardless of the awards and achievements you’ve both earned, he will still think of you both as typical housewives. Too dumb to think for yourselves. You only got your achievements by riding on the coattails of the men you work with. He will try to enlist either one of you or both of you to try and destroy morale,” Josh says. “Jim, you were correct when you said that this is the exact play from General Armstrong’s book on Morale Destruction. Destroy it from the top and destroy it from the bottom. Now, we have an addition layer, he’s going after your families.”

“What do you mean, he’s going after our families?” I ask, anger building. Paul, too. He already doesn’t like Karl. This just adds an additional log onto that fire. I am just getting my marriage back. My wife is pregnant. Fuck, Lisa is pregnant with my baby. I’ll be damned if I let anything happen to them.

“I don’t think he is going to physically do anything,” Josh says reassuringly. “His goal is to destroy morale. Happy wife, happy life is a truism. Destroy that, your life starts to get destroyed. Destroy that and it bleeds over into work. We can’t let that happen. Hence, why we brought Lisa in and now you, Charlotte.”

“What about Matt?” Char says. “Will he be brought in?”

Both Paul and Lisa are still feeling hurt because Matt hasn’t contacted them.

“Have you heard from Matt?” the major asks them.

Wait, he knows what happened??

“No, sir,” Paul says quietly. “We still haven’t heard from him since the argument we had.”

Well, that’s the absolute truth, while missing a lot of context.

“We don’t need Matt here to get the answer to this,” Char says, looking at the major. “If they are going to contact the wives, they could just as easily contact Matt.”

Psy Ops training kicks in.

That’s how Matt found out about it!

They contacted him after they called Lisa.

They sent him the picture of us kissing.

But they were expecting him to call Paul, not me.

They miscalculated there.

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t think they would contact your son, Paul,” the major says. “Can he be trusted with this?”

“Yes,” we all say. Paul and Lisa are shocked that Char and I agreed so emphatically. Josh knows what the true story is and was actually impressed with Matt’s ability to handle the situation. The major is clearly surprised that all of us, including Josh, answered. He wasn’t expecting that. “As long as he follows the expectations that Lisa and Charlotte have, I have no issues with telling him. He is an adult. This may make him grow up faster, though.”

Oh, he’s already grown up.

“I doubt that will be an issue, sir,” I say, “Paul and Lisa have done a remarkable job raising him.” Both of them radiate pride as I say that. And, honestly, they have. “How long has the operation (M.I.C.E. really??) been going on?”

“It started the week that Charlotte and Matt left for UCLA,” Josh says.

“So, I am presuming that this will be all over the base tomorrow,” I say. “Is that why we are meeting off base, to coordinate how we handle this going forwards?”

“That is correct, Jim,” the major says. “The Post Commander and his staff knew about it. I called them before Josh and I came over to Paul’s. The higher ups know what is going on. So there will be no backlash against the two of you for violating the UCMJ standards.”

“Hmmm,” I say, rubbing my chin.

“What?” the major asks.

“We may be able to get more milage out of this,” I say. Seeing the look on his face, and the growing interest from the rest of them, I go on. “Paul and I should keep it up. We can’t just say this is a one-time thing. Otherwise, they know they got played. I’m not saying we should be blatant about it but the more “public” we are with this, with no repercussions, the more pissed Karl will get. We need to keep this going to get more of a response from Karl and his cronies. In fact, if both Lisa and Char tell whomever is calling that they already know about it and aren’t concerned, that will drive Karl up the wall, too. Plus, the Romero Syndicate is either on base or in the area. We know they are going to try and extract him before we find him. We need to make him angry and careless. So we can get them all.”

Paul’s love skyrockets when I say that. Lisa is nodding in approval. Char’s love just envelopes me like a warm jacket. Josh is also nodding his head with approval.

“Are you saying you want to keep up the ruse that you are lovers?” the major asks, steepling his fingers.

“Yes,” I say. Hope soars in Paul. “If we keep it up, and there is no blowback from the higher ups, that will make Karl even more pissed off. And more likely to make mistakes and take chances.”

“Just keep feeding his homophobia,” the major muses. “I like it, but I’d want the wives on board with that. Ladies, what do you think?”

“We can’t have traitors on the base, major,” Lisa says, very logically.

“Anything I can do to help out, I will agree to,” Char says. I know my wife. She has ideas, too.

“Then it’s settled,” the major says. “I will take off and call the post commander and update him on what’s going on so there won’t be backlash against you. I’ll let the five of you coordinate and take it from here.”

We all say goodnight to the major as he leaves.

I look at the others as the door closes.

I can manipulate situations for what I want, too.

 

[Sklar]

Chapter 20



“So how is this going to work?” Lisa asks as we turn our attention back to each other.

“Before we get into the details,” I say, “there is something you two need to know.” Both Paul and Lisa give me their full attention. “They’ve already contacted Matt. He already knows about this kiss.”

“What?” Paul exclaims. “My son contacted you and you didn’t tell us?”

“What did he say?” Lisa asks at the same time as Paul. “Is he safe? Is he alright?”

Josh is focused on me, now. He, obviously, wants to know what went down, too.

“Wait, wait,” I say, holding up my hands. “I didn’t tell you because we literally hung up from him and then 5 minutes later Josh called, and all this happened. This is the first opportunity to tell you.”

Lisa nods her head understanding the timing of the situation. Hope and love flaring in her. Paul is also filled with hope and love and nervousness. He takes a moment to breathe deeply to calm himself down.

“What did he say?” Paul asks, once he has settled himself.

“He actually yelled at me,” I say. “He was pissed off. Wondering how I could kiss you after all he had heard that night.” As I made reference to the argument, Paul starts to spiral into himself with regret and fear. I snap my right fingers at him to get his attention and point my right index finger at him. “Stop that,” I say a bit forcefully. “What’s done is done. We are getting past it, but we still need to actually talk about it.” The sudden intensity of my voice snaps Paul out of his spiral. Concern and hope start to replace regret and fear. I lace my voice with calmness and warmth as I continue. “We talked for about ten minutes.”

“What did you talk about?” Lisa asks, leaning forward a bit. Paul leans in, too. There is a wash of amazement from beside Josh and then it disappears, too.

“We made sure he was okay,” Char says. “His feelings are still raw, and he is having difficulty processing them.”

“Do you know where he is at?” Paul asks, looking right at me.

“He is still on base,” I say. “I am ninety percent sure I know where he is at, too.”

“Then let’s go get him, Jimmie,” Paul says, standing up. “I want my son back.”

“It’s not that easy, Paul,” I say, standing up and placing my hands on his shoulders. “The last people he wants to see is the two of you.” Both Lisa and Paul’s emotions tank when I say that. “Please, Paul, sit. Let me finish,” I say, gently squeezing his shoulders and radiating love and concern to them both. Paul takes a deep breath, and Lisa reaches out to hold his hand. His sits back down on the couch, still holding her hand.

“Please, remember, what I am about to say is coming from a very hurt, very smart, eighteen year old,” I say, as I reclaim my seat. “He doesn’t mean what he said.”

“What did he say?” Lisa asks, with trepidation.

“He is very angry at the both of you,” I say, with a tinge of sadness. “He feels that what went down was a betrayal and he wanted to know why I would kiss the man who betrayed me.” Taking a deep breath, I continue. “He also said that the two of you were dead to him. That he wanted nothing to do with either of you.”

Tears start to run from Lisa’s eyes. Paul’s, too. They are absolutely crushed when I tell them this. “Hey,” I say, as I move off my chair kneel before them grabbing each of their hands, projecting love and warmth towards them. I feel an intense interest from Josh as he watches how I am handling this. “He’s just angry. He doesn’t know how to process his anger. He’s only eighteen. He doesn’t have the correct emotional tools to process all that happened.”

“Were…” Paul starts to say but starts to sniffle, “were his exact words: “they are dead to me?” I nod my head at that. “Then I know how he is going to process this.” I look at up at him an open question on my face. Char and Josh are also radiating curiosity. Lisa is radiating resignation. “Those were the exact words I used, when I came back from my parent’s house three years ago. I cut all ties with them and forbid Matt from contacting them. He’s going to do the same.”

Three years ago.

When all this started.

When Paul mentioned his parents a rod of absolute hatred and fear shot through him. I don’t know what happened then, three years ago. I do know that Paul didn’t like his parents before, from when their feelings about his twin brother, Micheal, came to light. They started to blatantly favor Paul over Michael when they became aware of Michael’s sexuality of being gay. And Paul wasn’t putting up with it.

“You said you knew where he is at,” Lisa says, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Yes,” I say, radiating confidence. “He confirmed he was still on base. So, it’s safe to say he is with a friend.”

“Which friend?” Lisa asks.

“He didn’t say,” I said, as I stand up and move back to my chair. “But I know who it is.”

“Who is it?” Paul asks, looking at me.

“Paul, he was very clear that he didn’t want to see you. Or Lisa,” I say, with compassion in my voice. “If I tell you where he is at, you will go right over there and you will scare him off.”

“Damn it, Jim,” he says, anguish in his voice, “he’s my son.”

“I know that, Paul,” I say, countering his anguish with my love and confidence, “I know very well how much he loves and respects the two of you. The amount of anger he is showing, proves that. You can’t have one without the other. But he made it very clear, that he will only talk to me.”

“What do you mean?” Lisa asks.

“I made a bet with him,” I say, with a smile. “The bet was that I would be able to find him before midnight and bring him home.” Before either of them could ask me questions, I lift up my right index finger to prevent the questions. “I told him that when I find him, he has to come back and all of us, you two, Josh, Char and myself, will all sit down and talk this out. If, at the end of that, he still wants to leave, he can. He countered that the only way he would agree to the bet, is if it’s just myself that comes looking for him. If he sees either of you, or Josh, or Char, the deal is off.”

“What do you mean, if he wants to leave?” Lisa says.

“If he wanted to come home, he would be here already, Lisa,” I say, gently. “He’s eighteen, remember. He’s a legal adult. If he wants to take off and disappear, he can. Hell, that may be what he was planning on doing. If it wasn’t for the fact that Karl or his goons contacted him, he may never have contacted me. So, the added bonus of getting Karl to show himself was having Matt reach out to me.”

“Why would he call you instead of us?” Paul asks, quietly.

“When you found out how your parents treated Michael, did you want to talk to them?” I ask him, gently.

“No, I wanted to tear them a new one!” Paul says emphatically. “The last thing I wanted to do with them is talk.”

“It’s the same situation, Paul,” I say, gently. “At least this time, he has someone he can talk to. I just hope he is smart enough to not tell anyone the reason for the argument.”

“I think that’s a safe assumption,” Char says.

“Why do you say that, Char?” Lisa asks, as we all turn to look at her.

“Look how fast the gossip network worked for the kiss,” she says, lightly. “It’s been three days since this all went down. Monday is when it all went down. Josh gave Jim and Paul Tuesday off. Wednesday we all went back to work. Now, it’s Thursday AM. We haven’t heard so much as a peep about the…situation in all that time. You both raised a very smart, young, man. Even though he’s pissed off, he is still keeping it confidential. He knows what he is doing.”

“Paul,” I say, “I know about his memory. I know he’s read all of the Psyop required readings. I know you and Lisa have both helped him with the context.” Both of them relax and start to radiate pride at my words. “Why do you think I said yes to the major when he asked if Matt could be trusted. Char agrees with me, too. So does Josh. But we’ve got to do this the right way. And that way is for me to bring him back. By myself.”

“I don’t like that,” Jimmie,” Paul says, quietly. “He’s my son. I should be the one to get him.”

“He is your son, Paul,” Josh says, earnestly. “But this is Jim’s mission. Do you trust him?”

“With my life,” Paul says immediately.

“Then trust him with your son,” Josh says, earnestly. Lisa nods her head, seeing the logic of the situation. Paul takes a deep breath and slowly sighs.

“Bring my son home, Jimmie, whatever it takes,” he says, standing up and taking my hand and looking me in the eyes.

“Whatever it takes,” I agree, standing up and grasping his hand and looking back at him.

“Whatever it takes,” Lisa says, standing up and grasping our hands.

Char and Josh come over and grasp our hands.

“Whatever it takes,” they say in unison.

 

[PouletAuPoivre]

Whatever it takes ...

Hoo boy! What a setup, Sklar ...

And of course I've been wondering how exactly things are going to go down when Paul and Matt each find out that Jim has been having sex with the other.

 

[PouletAuPoivre]

Oh, and this:

“We still haven’t found him, yet. But if we knew where he was, they’d be going after him, not calling on me and Paul.”

“Paul and I,” Char says with a grin.

No, "me and Paul" is correct, though "Paul and me" would be better. (It's considered more polite to refer to oneself last.)

Here's the lesson that too many people never got from their English teachers:

calling on Paul
calling on me -- you wouldn't say "calling on I," and therefore
calling on Paul and me

Paul is going
I am going -- you wouldn't say "me am going," and therefore
Paul and I are going

Heaven bless my grade school and middle school English teachers.

... or is Charlotte being the Grammar Police going to be a plot point later?

 

[Sklar]

Chapter 21



It’s 8 am, both Paul and I just parked our cars in the parking lot. We drove separately as I will be staying late to “track down” Matt. Paul was already in his car as I drove past his house, so he just followed me in.

I wanted to make it obvious to Matt that I will be by myself. He knows that I had always picked up Paul to go into work. I notice that the construction has gotten worse. They are doing the vast majority of the road work from 8 pm to 8 am, since there won’t be a lot of traffic on the roads at that time.

I also notice a bunch of kids throwing a baseball around. There’s six of them. As I get out of my car, Paul does, too. I notice the kids stop and huddle up like they are planning out their next play.

Just as I expected.

Matt has his friends on the baseball team watching the office for him.

Later on, I am expecting members of the track team to be out and about, too.

“Paul,” I say, as I come up to Paul and give him a hug. That’ll irk Matt but it will add fuel to the fire for the gossip network, too. Not that there are that many people about right now, but the construction has made detours all over the place. Driving by our office is one of the detours.

“Bro,” he says, as he hugs me back. I know it’s in my imagination, but the day just seems more…alive. Paul is definitely in a good mood. My saying we should keep up the pretense of being lovers has helped to keep him happy. The kids are more energetic but seem to radiate giddiness and are trying to be sly. But honestly, they are doing a very crappy job of trying to watch Paul and I covertly. “Is it me or are those kids watching us?”

“Yeah,” I say, breaking the hug, “they may think they are subtle, but to us, they may as well be cheerleaders screaming: Hey, we’re watching you!”

“That’s not all,” Paul says, as we walk to the office, “one took a picture of us hugging.”

“What did you expect?” I say. “We’re the new “it” couple.”

“Lord,” Paul sighs dramatically, draping his right arm over his forehead, “the things I do for work. This will ruin my reputation as a hard ass.”

“Yeah, for such a hard ass, you sure loved bouncing it on my cock,” I quip back at him, slapping his ass then opening the door to the office. Paul slows his walk as he starts to blush, embarrassed and astonished that I slapped him on his ass.

I come into the office and Paul is a few steps behind me. I can already tell the major isn’t in his office. He still is meeting daily with the base commander in regard to the situation with Karl. Josh is in his office. It’s just Robbins, Gomez and Sandaval. As if on cue, Gomez and Sandaval turn and stare at us. It’s a very eerie feeling. Normally, these two are the life of the office. Today however, not so much. Both of them are at Sandaval’s desk. Gomez seems upset about something. Sandaval is disappointed.

“Gentlemen,” Robbins says, nothing ever phases Robbins. He’s all work. “The XO would like to see you in his office.”

“Thank you, Robbins,” I say, as if nothing has happened, just another day at the office. Sigh. We make our way to Josh’s office and Gomez and Sandaval just watch us. I knock on the door.

“Come in,” Josh says, I can feel amusement coming from him. At least he’s in a good mood. I open the door, and we enter, then close the door. Paul goes and grabs a chair, turns it around and sits backwards on it. I grab the other chair and sit normally on it.

“What’s with Gomez and Sandaval?” Paul asks.

“The gossip network,” Josh says, as he gets his paperwork ready.

“I take it they were shocked by the news,” I say.

“I think it will shock a lot of people,” Josh says, “especially so soon after the news of the pregnancies. James, you’re the best known member of the unit. Paul, you’re not far behind him. This is news that people weren’t expecting to hear. But that’s what we are taking advantage of. I know we all stayed up late last night working this out, but I want to go over it again.”

“So, lets flesh this out more,” Paul says, crossing his hands on the back of the chair and resting his chin there.

“Yes,” Josh agrees. “Let’s review what is common knowledge already. One, both Charlotte and Lisa are pregnant. Two, the kiss. Three, Karl still missing. Lisa is one month pregnant, so people are going to think that the two of you conceived your child just before you left for training in Virginia. Charlotte is newly pregnant. So that is pretty straight forward.” Both Paul and I nod our heads in agreement. “What isn’t common knowledge: Karl was either a double agent from the start or, somehow, got compromised into becoming a double agent and somehow is affiliated with the Romero Crime Syndicate. The RCS is involved with human trafficking of captured Israeli soldiers and is operating in the border region of Venezuela/Guyana.”

“How does Karl fit into all of this?” I ask Josh.

“The Army Criminal Investigation Division was able to break into his email accounts,” Josh says, as he hands Paul and I a sheaf of paper. “These are not to leave my office, gentlemen. Once you feel you have them committed to memory, they are to be destroyed.”

“Yes, sir,” both Paul and I say, together, as we reach for the papers. CID has been busy. There’s a lot there. But, then again, Karl had been that units CO for just about five years.

“What a moment, Josh,” Paul says, looking up, “you say he might have been compromised. Are you also saying he might have been blackmailed into being the shit bird he is?”

Well, that certainly got my attention! What if Karl is actually innocent and didn’t know how to report his compromised state to Major Rababbi? What if all of this is because Karl is innocent and couldn’t extricate himself from it?

There, but for the grace of God, my inner voice says.

No shit! But I was being blackmailed for sex. Nothing to do with national or military secrets.

And what if he did want those?

As I told him, he didn’t come after me for state secrets and he didn’t come after me for vital information. He didn’t ask me to betray my country. What would an eighteen year old want with those? He just wanted sex. I can do sex. And, innocent or not, Karl was an active participant with the RCS. He committed crimes whereas I did not.

“It’s highly doubtful, Paul,” Josh says, interrupting me. “He had plenty of time to figure out a way, if he was compromised, to let the major know about it. Nothing in his emails suggest it, either. But, we do have to plan for every contingency. That’s one contingency.”

“I can’t believe he was compromised,” I say, drawing attention to myself.

“Why do you say that, Jimmie?” Paul asks, turn towards me.

“A few reasons, Paul,” I say. “First off, just our security clearances alone, is a good way to weed that out. All of us had to go through intensive background checks to initially get our clearances. Plus, we have to have background checks, again, when we get to a higher level of classification or the need to renew our clearance. There’s no way the FBI would not find something like that or something remotely fishy. We would have known if he was compromised a long time ago and have it taken care of.” Paul and Josh nod. “Second, Karl wouldn’t have been in the running for the battalion XO position if there was a hint of that in his background. Unless it popped up during the investigation phase. Which, if it did, that would explain why he was dropped at the last minute and Josh was given the role.” I turn to look at Josh.

“I can’t comment on that, James,” Josh says, then takes a drink of water from his lucky water bottle. “I don’t have that information. I just know he was taken out of consideration at the last minute. Which, again, could point to him being compromised. Either willfully or by blackmail.”

“Not necessarily,” Paul says, with a sigh. “As much as I don’t want to defend that shit bird, If they would have found anything like that, they would have arrested him. Or, at least, stripped him of his command until he was exonerated. They wouldn’t have left him in command. Is there a way we can find out why he was taken out of contention, Josh?”

Both Josh and I agree with that logic.

“I can ask the major,” Josh says. “He may or may not have that information.”

“Here’s something I don’t understand,” I say, as I quickly look over the emails. Both Paul and Josh look at me. “I can’t see Karl being high up the chain of command for the RCS. Why would he know about their operation at the border of Guyana and Venezuela? Flunkies don’t know the big picture of a gang’s operations. Just their own part. Why would Karl know about that?”

“Unless he was a part of that operation,” Paul says.

“How could he, if he was here with us or deployed?” I ask him back.

Josh sits back in his chair. Paul sits up straighter, still looking at his sheaf of papers.

“Okay,” Josh says, slowly, “let’s work with what we know about the RCS.”

“Based in South America,” Paul says.

“Deals with trafficked Israeli soldiers,” Josh contributes.

“They have operatives here,” I continue, “either on base or in the area.”

“Are there any missing people reported locally?” Paul asks, rummaging through the paperwork.

“Probably,” Josh says, rubbing his chin. “We can always contact the FBI for local missing people reports. Actually, we can just ask Charlotte or Lisa to look into that for us.”

“That doesn’t feel right to me,” I say, slowly. “That just seems to…mundane, to me.”

“What do you mean, James?” Josh asks, taking another drink of water from his lucky water bottle.

“Just that,” I say. “It’s too ordinary. Granted, I’m making light of a horrific trade. Any human trafficking is horrible. But, looking at it from the RCS’s perspective, they seem to specialize in military personnel. Snatching someone off the streets doesn’t seem to fit their specialty.”

“Do we have anyone on base as reported AWOL?” Paul asks, looking up from his reading.

“No, we don’t,” Josh says immediately. “When the major meets with the post commander and his staff, they go through those reports, daily. It’s a routine report and he passes that information on to me. None have been reported.”

Psy Ops Training kicks in

“That’s because it would bring attention to the RCS,” I say, with confidence.

“What do you mean, James?” Josh says, leaning forward with interest.

“Think about it,” I say, my excitement growing. This, THIS, is why I am so good at my job! I’m right. I know I am! “If the RCS was targeting army personnel, their absence would be noted and we’d be looking for them. What if there are no absences?”

“I don’t follow you, Jimmie,” Paul says. “How can someone be missing but not noticed missing?”

“How do you kidnap someone and not have anyone notice the kidnapping?” I say back to him.

“You replace them,” Paul says. “But you can’t replace people. People would notice. Unless they had a twin.”

“Why do you think we would notice, Paul?” I say, reaching over to Josh’s desk and pulling out two pens from his cup full of pens. “Watch.” I place one pen on the desk. Then swap it out with the other one. “Mission accomplished.”

“Not really, James,” Josh says, looking at the pen. He’s trying to see what am explaining, but not comprehending it. “Aside from the fact that we watched you do it, you replaced the pen with another that doesn’t look like the first one.”

“And we’ve worked with these men, Jimmie,” Paul says, looking at the pen, too. “We’d know if they were replaced.”

“Correct, Paul,” I say, nodding in agreement with him. “We have worked with them. So when could they have been replaced?”

Both Paul and Josh furrow their brows while thinking. Then, both of them, at the same time, get it.

“Before they were transferred in,” Paul says, angrily.

“Before we even knew them,” Josh breathes out slowly.

“That fucking bastard,” Paul growls. “He could target them from the incoming list we get and then have the RCS replace them before they get here.”

Josh picks up his phone and hits a button, “Robbins, please come into my office.” A few moments later, Robbins opens and closes the door. “Robbins, I need a list of all the personnel transferred into Meyers company for the past five years.”

“Yes, sir,” Meyers says as he turns and leaves the office, closing the door behind him.

“From when he took command,” I say.

“That could be hundreds of men,” Paul says aghast.

“We have to whittle it down, somehow,” Josh says. “How do we do that?”

“We can eliminate anyone that’s married or has kids,” I say. “Unless the RCS is swapping out entire families, we can rule them out.”

“So, single men and women,” Paul muses.

“Even then, that’s going to be a lot,” Josh says. “We need to break it down further.”

“Those with low or no contact with their families,” I say. “That way, they can’t be exposed.”

“What about those that were here during the five years and transferred out?” Paul asks. “How do we verify them?”

“One step at a time,” Josh says. “Let’s verify our hypothesis first. If it’s true, we turn those that transferred out over to CID and let them take care of it. That’s their job after all.”

“I’m right, Josh,” I say with confidence.

“I believe you, James,” he says back to me, projecting that emotion. “But we still have to verify it, first.”

“Oh, shit,” Paul gasps, looking up from his paper work.

“What?” I ask him. What did he find in the paperwork?

“Let’s take this a step further,” Paul says.

“A step further in what direction, Paul?” Josh asks.

“What if ‘Karl,’ isn’t Karl?” he asks, looking at us.

What the fuck?

 

[As_tas]

This will clue Jim in on what truly happened with "Paul" and his twin, won't it? I'll say it's a smart implementation.

 

[Sklar]

Chapter 22



“You think Karl could have been replaced prior to being transferred in?” Josh asks.

“That fits the pattern,” Paul says, strongly. “In fact, that would explain why his unit always has such a high rate of personnel going to the infirmary. Crappy leadership. Because his replacement isn’t military and thinks his men are expendable.”

“That’s too big a leap, Paul,” Josh says. Although Paul does make a good point.

“Why do you think he didn’t train the XO and stripped him of power?” Paul continues. “He doesn’t have the proper training to actually train him. Why do you think he has had a high rate of turnover in his senior staff? Those with experience would naturally question his stupid decisions. He probably brought in officers with less experience than he does and just let them fail and then got rid of them with a mark on their records. He got rid of the chaplain because chaplains don’t follow the same rules as the regular officers. They have to look out for the souls and spirituality of their men. The chaplain could have gone around Karl and went straight to the post commander, because they have that kind of authority.”

“There’s a couple huge holes in this theory, Paul,” Josh says.

“Such as?” Paul asks.

“His security clearance background checks,” Josh says. “The FBI has to do those checks. They would notice if someone wasn’t the same person.”

“Not necessarily,” Paul says. “The same person doesn’t come out and do the investigation. We fill out the renewal and send it back with all of our contacts and references. Then they come out. What was the name of the agent that did yours, Josh?”

“Thomas Scepaniac,” Josh says, immediately.

“Thomas, the Tank Engine?” Paul asks, with a laugh. I look at them with a what the fuck expression. Josh…actually blushes! Paul breaks out with deep laughter. Then Josh joins in on the laughter. “Of course, you would remember that name,” Paul laughs as he gets his laughter under control. Looking at my confusion, Paul continues, “Josh hooked up with him after his clearance was reupped. He was a bit sore and walking funny the next couple of days.”

“What can I say,” Josh says, blushing deeper, “he was thick and knew how to use it.”

<dick throb>

Don’t you fucking start with me!

Fuck, is that what will happen with Matt finally fucks me?

A mental image forms of me on my knees, spreading my ass cheeks apart, under a sign that says: HOLLAND TUNNEL.

That’s not funny!

BWA HA HA HA HA HA. So you’re going to let Matt finally fuck you?

“How about yours, Jimmie?” Paul says, turning towards me, preventing me from answering that question. “Do you remember the name of the agent who did yours?”

“Winnie Prescott,” I say immediately.

“You two are freaks,” Paul says, deflating a little.

“Paul,” Josh says, smiling, “it was a good thought, but I don’t see it happening. Plus, Karl has been married for over a decade. His wife would definitely know if he’s been replaced.”

“Hold on, Josh,” I say, an alarm bell ringing in my head. “Let’s not dismiss this so lightly. Karl’s wife isn’t a natural born citizen. She’s from a different country. What country is she from?” I already know the answer to this as we’ve met at various family functions.

“She’s from Bra…zil,” he finishes slowly, as the growing realization hits him.

“What do we know about her?” Paul asks, very laser focused on his theory, which, suddenly, has a new life. Quickly glancing through the emails in front of him.

“Not much,” Josh says, “whenever we met at the various functions, she was just a bit cold. I figured that was because of my being gay.”

“She never said much to me, either,” Paul says. “I figured that was because I don’t like Karl.”

Psy Ops Training kicks in

“You know, we’ve been going about this the wrong way,” I say, the room suddenly seems smaller. Paul and Josh look at me. “We’ve been thinking Karl was the one in charge. What if it’s his wife?”

Silence.

“That’s a disturbing thought, James,” Josh says, quietly. “That means she knew to target Karl prior to them getting married. That Karl was set up over a decade ago to be replaced. They’ve been planning this since before his marriage.”

“And they’ve been operating under our noses this entire time,” Paul says. “This was a coordinated effort, with years of planning behind it.”

“That’s not all,” I say, recapturing their attention. “Karl’s unit has had the most casualties in the past five years, too. What if they aren’t dead?”

“You can’t replace a dead body, Jimmie,” Paul says, matter of factly.

“What if there weren’t any bodies, Paul,” I counter. “In Iraq and Afghanistan, Karl has had his fire teams on patrol, and they encountered combat. Some made it back. Some were killed during the combat. But what if they weren’t killed? What if they were captured and reported killed? Karl could have set them up for capture and not have to worry about replacing them.”

Silence

Silence

“I don’t like that implication, James,” Josh says very quietly. “He’s targeting our own men and women.”

“He was doing that from day one, Josh,” Paul says, with some heat.

“He and his wife,” I say. The more I think about it, the more I feel Paul is right on this. “That’s what the RCS does. Where is she now?”

“She moved off base,” Josh says. “She lost her military housing when all this went down. Command didn’t want to seem heartless and kick her out right away. They were hoping to use her to find Karl, thinking he would try to contact her somehow.”

“They had to have had a contingency plan in place,” I say, the others nod at that. “She is the local leader of the RCS. Karl can’t be coordinating while he is hiding. All the attention is on him. She still has free reign to come and go, as she wishes. She’s been a deep mole for years. She married the original Karl to get all the information she needed for his history, friends, family, work and whatnot. Once she had all that down, that’s when she felt comfortable enough to replace him. I wouldn’t be surprised if the person who we know as Karl was someone that hung out with them, too. So he could rehearse for his role, see his mannerisms, without the original Karl knowing about it.”

“Do we know where she is living?” Paul asks.

“Out in town,” Josh says. “We can get the address, easily enough.”

“What’s the plan for her, then?” Paul asks, leaning forward.

“She will be on the lookout for anyone from the base to watch her,” I say. “That’s natural enough. We don’t exactly fit in with our attitude and haircuts. I’d say we draw the attention to ourselves while someone else does the surveillance.”

“Lisa and Char,” Paul says, nodding his head.

“No,” Josh says, immediately. “You can bet they know who your wives are. But we can let the FBI lead in that department, with Lisa and Charlotte as the contacts for us. Their experiences as profilers will help out in that. You two coordinate with them when they come over for lunch today.”

“Jesus,” I say, “it’s almost lunch, now.”

“Yes,” Paul says, happily, “I do like that part of the plan. I love the fact that we can work with our wives on this mission. Letting the four of us be seen together and them not angry about the kiss. I forgot how vicious those two could be when they start planning things out.”

“Did you forget about how they took down those two stalker brothers?” I ask with a laugh.

“Dude,” Paul says in awe, “I don’t think either of them will every bother a woman again.”

“No shit. Robbins is about to knock on your door, Josh,” I say, with a grin.

“How do you know…” Paul starts as there is a knock on the door.

“Enter,” Josh says. Robbins comes into the office with a manilla envelope and hands it to Josh. Paul turns and looks at me. I just smile.

“Here is the requested material, sir,” he says. “Captain Braveman, Royce is here to see you.”

“Royce?” Paul asks, clearly confused. “From the baseball team?”

“Affirmative, sir,” Robbins replies.

“What does he want?” Paul asks, clearly stunned.

“He just says he would like to talk to you privately” Robbins says.

“Let’s take a break, gentlemen,” Josh says, standing up and stretching. “We’ve been at this for hours and you have to meet your wives at the commissary. Let’s reconvene 1300 hours.”

“Sounds good,” Paul says, as he strides out of the office as I hang back, following him to the door. I see Paul go up to Royce, then I close the office door and turn back to Josh. This is an interesting turn of events. I was expecting someone from either the baseball team or the track team to come to the office and ask to speak to me.

I figured that would be one way that Matt would be keeping tabs on me. I wasn’t expecting him to ask them to talk to his father.

Interesting.

 

[Sklar]

Chapter 22



“Yes, James?” he asks, smiling. I go back to my seat and just before I sit down, a powerful wave of lust/honesty washes over me from the office. Followed immediately by a more powerful wave of shock/astonishment from Paul.

Gripping the back of the chair, I take a deep breath and block that out, as I file it in the back of my head.

“James,” Josh asks, concerned, “are you alright?”

“I need your advice, Josh,” I sigh, as I sit back down.

“On what?” he asks, looking at me. Then he takes a drink from his lucky water bottle.

“Is it even possible for me to take Matt anally?” I ask him, straight up.

A very slight movement of his left eyebrow tells me I caught him off guard with that question.

“Right off the bat,” Josh says, “probably not.”

“Probably not,” I repeat. I’m not sure if I am disappointed or relieved.

“Well, desire, lust, and lube, lots of lube, will play a big part in it,” Josh says, grinning. “But, just from a logical standpoint, I am presuming you’ve never taken anything anally, aside from that dildo I found next to you that night.”

“Well, I have been practicing with various dildos and butt plugs,” I say, remembering when Josh first showed up at my place and found me trussed up. “But I haven’t done it since this all went down.”

“That makes sense,” Josh nods in agreement. “There have been more pressing matters. But with the blackmail no longer pressing the issue, you still want to be Matt’s sub?”

“Can I?” I ask him back. Did I sound pleading to Josh? “It’s so odd to me to voluntarily say that I am going to sub when I’m not and I don’t have to. Do men actually do that of their own free will? What’s to prevent them from changing their mind half-way through whatever they are doing? What keeps them in line?”

“Of course you can, James,” Josh says. “And of course, men do. Women, too. Voluntarily be subs. Granted, the vast majority of those men and women do that because they lean that way naturally. But you’re not a natural sub. Except with Matt. He forced it on you. And you liked it. So what you are really saying is that you want to sub for Matt but don’t think you can unless there is a gun to your head? (I nod) That you are being (Josh holds up both his hands and with his index and middle fingers creates quotes) forced to sub makes it easier for you?”

“I’m not sure “makes it easier” is the correct phrasing, Josh,” I say. “It certainly was more enjoyable for me. There were a lot of things I did that were out of character for me but also made it easier for me, too.”

“Such as?” Josh asks.

“Calling him Sir,” I say, immediately. “I was calling him Sir starting day two whenever we were alone. He wasn’t Matt. He was Sir. Initially, he said he would make me call him Sir if I had displeased him. But I just did it naturally. When all three of us had dinner, prior to the three way, I didn’t call him Sir, because Char was there. He tried to trip me up when it was just him and I in the hallway, while Char was in the kitchen. I told him I could control it, if I wanted to.”

“And you wanted to?” Josh asks, tilting his head a little to the left.

“Yes,” I answered. “It just felt natural.”

“Stand up for a moment, James,” Josh asks. I do. Josh looks up and down. “Please sit back down and go on.”

“What was that for?” I ask, as I sit back down.

“Intelligence gathering,” Josh says with humor. “Why did it feel natural to call an eighteen year old boy…”

“Man,” I correct Josh.

“Man,” Josh says, good naturedly, “why did it feel natural to call an eighteen year old man, Sir?”

“Because he had all the power, Josh,” I say, emphasizing that with my hands. “It felt natural because he had me dead to rights with the blackmail.”

“You had told me, in the hotel room,” Josh begins, “that you developed a fetish about power and your cock, too. (I nod) Did you ever have anyone call you Sir or Master?”

“What?” I asked with shock. “No. I never had anyone call me that. I got off on the power I felt because I could fuck a woman better than a smaller sized guy. It never once crossed my mind to have them call me Sir or Master.”

“You never once, ever, thought to have someone call you Sir or Master?” Josh asks, perplexed.

“Never,” I say. “When Char and I role played, she would say “yes, sir” every now and then, but it was just part of the role, it didn’t do anything for me. I was already getting off on the power I knew I had.”

“What about with Lisa?” Josh asks.

Silence

“James?” Josh gently prods.

“I…I don’t want to talk about that,” I say, looking away, my chest tightening up.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t like who I was then,” I said, anger mixed with sadness. “I helped start the affair because of my ego, Josh. I was selfish and egotistical. Because I knew my cock was bigger that Paul’s. I knew I would be able to fuck Lisa better than he ever could. Because, as much as I respect Paul, I looked down on him because his cock wasn’t all that thick and smaller than mine. I distinctly remember thinking how I’d get off knowing Paul would fuck Lisa and she would be looser than she normally was. That I stretched her out, made her scream with pleasure. Because my cock was superior to Paul’s.”

“And by that logic, Matt’s is superior to yours, James,” Paul says, quietly.

“It is, Josh,” I say, equally quietly. “That was obvious through his pants that first night. It was fucking huge and that was when he was soft. That first night, I didn’t even see it hard. The moment I pulled it from his pants, I just stared at it and then he told me to put it in my mouth, and I did. It got hard in my mouth and the harder it got, the more it stretched my jaws apart. My jaws were sore afterwards. Even in my mouth, I could smell him. It just filled my lungs, like his cock was filling my mouth. Even then, I tried to get as much into my mouth and throat as I could.”

“Stand up, again, James,” Josh asks, quietly. I start to stand up and realize my cock got hard (of course it did) in my underwear. I rearrange myself as I stand up. Josh nods his head. He was expecting that. “Please sit back down, James.” I do. “When you blew Angel, what did you feel?”

“Like I said before,” I say, “I felt disappointed at first. He was so small. Then, when he started growing and getting bigger, I got more into it. But, there wasn’t anything there, mentally. Or physically. I didn’t get physically excited about it. I didn’t get any mental pleasure from it. We went there to prove Big Dick Superiority to Char. All we really proved is I can deep throat a thirteen inch cock. I felt used. I felt disappointed. I felt, honestly, humiliated. That’s why, when we came back to my place, I broke down and cried in the driveway. I didn’t get the same reaction from Angle that I did with Matt. I wanted to prove to Char that this was natural. That it happens every time there is a cock bigger than mine. Everything just seemed to align. It was so perfect and reasonable, prior to that. After that, I felt like I was lying to myself. But I’m not, Josh! I still react to Matt and his dick. Char mentioned to me that while they were at UCLA, they did have sex. But the sex wasn’t great. Which was to be expected. He’s never had sex before and Char is the first woman he’s been with that could actually handle his size. The idea was for the two of us, over time, to help him become proficient with his cock. No one was expecting porn star qualify sex from the beginning, regardless that he has a porn star qualify cock.”

“That makes sense,” Josh says. “No one is good their first time. No matter how much porn they study.”

“That wasn’t the only thing, Josh,” I say. “I just don’t know if I can say it. I’m not sure if I am breaking a confidence, is all.” It’s not my place to mention that Char thinks Matt is gay. If he is gay, than I am outing him against his will. And if he’s not, than I start a rumor about him that could equally damage him.

“Can you talk around it, to give me an idea of it?” Josh asks, looking at me.

“No, you’re skillful enough to be able to soothe it out of what I say,” I reply, grinning at him.

“Well, I’m no Captain James Clinton, when it comes to interrogation skills,” he says, with a smile, “but I can make do. What if I make an educated guess?”

“Wouldn’t that be the same?” I ask him.

“No,” Josh says, “it’s not. We can talk in hypotheticals, just like they do in court cases. It’s not a confirmation and it’s not a denial.”

“I’m not sure, Josh,” I say, sighing. “It still feels like I would be breaking a confidence with this.”

“Would you like to table this for another time?” he asks, politely.

“Yes,” I say, relieved. “At least give me more time to think about it.”

Josh gets up and walks around his desk to stand by my side. He puts his hand on my right shoulder, “Stand up, James.” I do. And Josh reaches out and hugs me. Tight. But not too tight. I feel his friendship, his caring, and, yes, his love, wrap around me. Like that night in the hotel.

What will be, will be, echoes through my mind.

A wave of sadness and wistfulness washes over me. I feel Josh tighten for a moment. Then, a wave of caring, from Paul, follows it. Josh tightens his hug again. I feel a wave of shock come from Josh. I feel a wave of amazement come from by his side. Which is so weird, as it’s only the two of us in the room.

We break the hug and separate, but still hold hands before us, level with our waists.

There is a thoughtful look on Josh’s face as he looks at me.

“What?” I ask him, quietly, blushing.

“Nothing, James,” he says, equally quietly. “Go have lunch with Paul and your wives.”

“Thank you, Josh,” I say, squeezing his hands.

“I just want to help, James,” he says, squeezing mine back.

 

[PouletAuPoivre]

Innnnnnnteresting ...



I see foreshadowing, but I'm not sure of what ...

 

[Sklar]

Chapter 23



We leave Josh’s office. As we do, the door to Paul’s office opens Royce walks out. The sadness/wistfulness is coming from him. He walks out of our office and back into the civilian world. Paul comes to his door and leans against it. Looking after Royce. Paul is radiating sadness, too.

What did Royce tell him?

I highly doubt that Matt sent him. This doesn’t fit that pattern that I thought Matt would fall into. Royce did this on his own. I start to walk over to Paul and pass Gomez and Sandaval. They are both still feeling the same way as earlier. And it’s totally directed at me. What did I do to them to deserve that??

“What did Royce want?” I ask Paul as he meets me with his cover in his hand.

“It’s the damnedest thing, Jimmie,” he says, as I grab mine and we head out the door. As we go out, I see that traffic is backed up. The road construction is not doing anyone any favors. The kids are still playing ball but now there are four of them. Only one of them is from the original six from this morning. “Fuck, look at that traffic. It’s bumper to bumper.”

“You know, it might just be quicker to walk to the commissary instead of driving,” I say, looking at the backup.

“Well, we can cut across the base and not be restricted to the roads,” Paul says. “That will save us some time.”

“Let’s do that,” I say, putting my hand on the small of his back and gently push him in the direction we need to go.

“Look at you being pushy all of a sudden,” he laughs as he goes with the flow.

“You liked it when I pushed into you, bro,” I say as I flex my fingers on the small of his back, scraping them against his uniform.

“Not as much as you liked pushing it in,” he quips back, pushing the small of his back into my fingers.

Both of us blush a bit as we look at each other. I can see the kids behind Paul. All four of them are looking right at us.

“We’re still the “it” couple,” I say, as I turn, Paul matching me.

“Yeah, those kids are certainly not professionals,” he laughs. As we walk, there’s not a lot of people on the sidewalk. “So, what did Royce want?”

Paul starts to blush deeper, and care radiates from him.

“Well, there’s no one around us, so no one can overhear what we talk about,” he says. “But I want what I am about to tell you to be classified. And I mean, classified at our level of security clearance, Jimmie. Only between us.” I nod my head. “Royce told me he saw the picture of us kissing. He…outed himself to me, Jimmie. He said he’s had a crush on me for a long time. He said he likes older men and asked me out on a date.”

Well, that explains the lust/honesty I felt earlier.

“What did you say?” I said, slightly shocked at this. That was pretty brazen of Royce.

“I thanked him but politely declined,” Paul says, still blushing.

“How did he take it?” I asked.

“He was disappointed and sad,” Paul said, softly. “He asked why? I said I was married. And he brought up the kiss. Marriage didn’t stop that, he said. I told him that Lisa already knew about it and she was fine with it. Then he asked if he could ask Lisa for permission.”

“No,” I say, awed. THAT took balls!

“Yes,” Paul says, remembering. “He said if he got permission from Lisa, would it be okay? Again, I said, no. I said that you were the only one that I was allowed to play with and no one else. At that point, he kind of fell into himself. From there, we just talked. About how long it took him to realize he was gay and who he liked. How his parents supported him and just wanted what’s best for him. We talked about what he was going to do as a journalist. He really wants to do investigative journalism.”

“No one from his friends interested him?” I asked as we left the sidewalk and started to cut across the park. I notice the baseball kids didn’t follow us. I do see some kids running relays in the far part of the park. That was expected.

“At first he tried,” Paul says, “but he found kids his age didn’t interest him. He likes them older. The maturity is a big draw for him. This is so different from when I grew up with Michael.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, curiously.

“His parents just accepted him for who he is,” Paul says, sadness filling him. “They love him unconditionally. He even told them he likes older men. They were a bit uneasy with that, he said. But they still loved him. It’s a far cry from what Michael had to endure with our parents. How can parents just turn on their kids, Jimmie? I don’t get it. Michael loved our parents, until they didn’t love him. Hell, I stopped loving them when they stopped loving Michael. Nowadays, it seems everyone and their brother is either gay, bi or curious and no one bats an eye. I’m so happy things have changed but it was too late for Michael.”

“Not everyone gets a happily ever after, Paul,” I say. “We see that all the time on our missions. Hell, even here, in the states, yes, things are better for kids like Royce but there’s still a long, long way to go before it’s better for everyone.”

“Oh, I know that,” Paul says. “It’s just the unfairness of it all.”

“Do you think, if you and Michael were born at the time Matt and Royce were, that your parents would be any different?” I ask him.

“No,” Paul sighs. “The times may change, by they never will.”

“I’m sorry, bro,” I say, hugging him. Hard.

“Thanks, bro,” he says, hugging me back equally hard.

“Well, the good news,” I say, breaking the hug and holding his hands as we continue the walk, “is you’ve got eighteen year olds hitting on you.”

“Who needs an eighteen year old, when I’ve got you?” Paul says, slapping me on the back. “What would you do, Jimmie?”

“Bend you over the bed again and fuck you balls deep, of course,” I say, playfully jabbing him in the ribs with my eight elbow.

“No, you ass,” Paul laughs, “let’s say Char said it was okay. What would you do if an eighteen year old made a move on you?”

Strip naked, get on your knees, put your hands behind your back and say: Yes, SIR!

SHUT THE FUCK UP

But, how do I answer this question. How do I let Paul know I’ve been sleeping with his son for the past month? Do I tell him that?

Just tell him the truth. His son blackmailed you because his mother and father and Char collaborated to trick you into having the affair. And he took advantage of the situation.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

“I think it would depend on the situation” I say, slowly. “Eighteen is legal age, after all.”

“Really?” Paul says, a bit astonished.

“Yes, really,” I say. “You said if Char gave me permission. I never really thought about it before. Like you, I was sexually active as a minor with girls around my age. I never looked to older women. I had enough to choose from that were of similar age. Even as I got older. We both have had sex while on missions to get more information from our sources. But our wives gave us permission for that. And that’s not quite the same as Char saying: Hey, look at the eighteen year old. Go fuck her.” Sigh. “You know my mother had me when she was young.”

“Of course,” Paul says. “You said that a few times over the years.”

“I’ve never told you the actual age difference between mother and me,” I say.

Are you actually going to tell Paul about mother being raped?

“Well, no,” Paul says. “I just figured nineteen/twenty-year difference.”

“Try fifteen,” I say, staring off into the distance, stopping, my mood cratering out.

“What?” Paul asks, astonished. “Jimmie. Jimmie,” Paul gently puts his hand on my right shoulder and turns me towards him. “Talk to me, Jimmie.” Caring, love and empathy roll off of him. “Was this planned?”

“Far from it,” I say, quietly.

“Did your father move away?” Paul asks. “What happened to him? Why wasn’t he in your life?”

“Mother…mother was on a school trip to New York City, in high school,” I begin. You would think that after all these years, I should be able to tell this story without shame. None of this was my fault, but I was the result of it. I should have been a constant reminder to mother about what happened. But she loved me unconditionally. Grandma and Grandpa loved me unconditionally. Just like Royce’s parents love him unconditionally. Just like Lisa and Paul love Matt unconditionally. But it’s still hard.

So

Fucking

Hard.

Sigh

Why is this hard? You told Matt about mother being raped. You didn’t react like this.

That’s true! Why was I able to tell Matt and not feel like shit? Why am I feeling this way with Paul? Paul has shared equally powerful emotional stories with me; just like Matt did when we talked on the couch. Is Paul’s emotions influencing mine?

Paul is our best friend. Putting the affair to the side, we trust him. You admitted you would trust him on a mission. Well, we’re on a mission right now and our mission has missions within the mission.

“Okay, Paul,” I say, with a deep breath, “same classification as with Royce. Char knows what I am about to say and one other, outside of my immediate family.” Paul nods and indicates to a bench and we move over to that and sit down. “My mother didn’t plan on having me, Paul. While on a school trip to New York City, she was raped and left unconscious in an alley.” Paul’s shock radiates out like an earthquake from him. He reaches over and hugs me tightly. “We have no clue who it was. When she didn’t show up to the museum, the chaperones started to get worried. But they didn’t know where she was. Luckily, mother was found by a lady from the Red Cross, and they took her to the hospital. She didn’t regain consciousness for over a day.” I pause and just stare across the field.

“Jimmie,” Paul says with love and care, “you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“It’s okay, Paul,” I say, with a deep breath. “The lady from the Red Cross stayed with mother. So she was the first person mother saw when she woke up. No one knew who mother was, because her ID was stolen. We think the rapist took it, but we really don’t know. They had her listed down as Jane Doe. Mother was panicked, obviously, and it took a while for her to calm down. When she did, she gave the lady grandfather’s number. So she called from the room phone. Grandpa and grandma showed up the next day. They drove in from Tennessee. Over thirteen hours to drive. The lady from the Red Cross said that the Red Cross would cover all the expenses from the hospital. My grandparents and the lady from the Red Cross worked together to get mother discharged. Since the hospital had her down as Jane Doe, they did want her full name. Mother didn’t want to give it to them when it was just her and the Red Cross lady. And since the Red Cross was going to pay for the hospital stay, my grandparents didn’t feel it was necessary to provide it. So she was discharged. While my grandfather was working with the hospital and the lady, grandma was able to contact mother’s school and told them mother was in the hospital. She said she would tell them more when they got back home.

“I’m glossing over the next part a little bit, but mother was deeply depressed. Which was only natural. But grandma and grandpa, her friends, even the school, made things as easy as possible for her. A month after she got back home, she realized that she was pregnant. No one could ever figure out who it was that raped her. Obviously, she kept the baby. But she loved me unconditionally. My grandparents loved me unconditionally. When she realized she was pregnant, that’s when her depression started to improve and the further along she was, the less depressed she was.”

“You’re so lucky,” Paul says a bit jealously. I just turn and stare at him. How the fuck is that lucky?? “Okay, that came out very, very wrong, Jimmie, and I am sorry for how I phrased that. From my perspective, if it were my parents, I honestly believe they would have forced an abortion and then hated their daughter, not only for what happened to her but for getting an abortion, too. They hated Michael. They couldn’t wait to get rid of him, but the terrorists did that for them. So they are guilt free for his death. They’ve never once said they missed him. They got rid of as much evidence that he ever existed. No pictures. No report cards. Not even the letter from the recruiter that said he joined the Army. The only reasons I have pictures of Michael was I was able to take them out of the trash and hide them. When they visited us when we were stationed at Fort Hood, they saw the pictures of Michael we had put up and blew a gasket. But your grandparents, your mother, hell, it seems that the whole town rallied around your mother. That’s love, Jimmie. That’s what I meant when I said you were lucky.” Okay, that makes sense, from his perspective. Still a crappy way to phrase it, though.

My phone buzzes. It’s a text message from Char:

WE’RE RUNNING ABOUT 15 MINUTES LATE

I show it to Paul, “Let them know we had to walk to the commissary. So we should arrive at the same time they do.”

AFFIRMATIVE. WE ARE A LITTLE LATE, TOO. WALKING TO THE COMMISSARY BECAUSE OF TRAFFIC.

CHAR: NO SHIT. THAT’S WHAT’S GOT US DELAYED. C U SOON. LOVE U

LOVE U MORE

CHAR: LOVE YOU MOST.

Seriously, Tangled?

Shut up, I say to my inner voice with a goofy smile. My mood improving.

We get up and continue on to the commissary.