Do Bisexual men actually settle down with men?

[Alex57]

Warn these poor women about the messages...

I did this as an experiment a while back to do a side-by-side comparison of the amount of opposite sex profiles between our (lesbian) dating apps and apps for gay men (I was trying to see if it was as bad over there as it is on ours). I was NOT ready for that inbox onslaught. Threw me completely off.

Pro-tip to any ladies reading and considering it: Don't put this emoji as your username on Grindr. That actually means something very specific.

I'm gay and dislike Grindr. I only use it to do background checks if I'm dating someone. I don't want to date anyone who is on that app. And I would encourage sane gay men to stay away from it. A lot of men who use that app are toxic and mentally unstable. I call it the cesspool for weirdos and closeted men.

 

[WilliamG]

I don't believe most bisexuals woke up one day and had a bisexual awakening. You were always bisexual. You just repressed those same-sex urges to live a heterosexual lifestyle.

Also, thanks for telling an yourself about the hookup app you use to cheat. I hope the women are taking notes.

See that's the thing. There's another well known guy here that also spouts the "we were bi all along" BS. It's just that. BS. I was NEVER into guys sexually till my 50's. I chat with many others that are the same. The LPSG ladies can and do hold their own. We are here for open sexual discussions. Not your ethical or moral issues. That's why this place exists. But hey... That's just my humble opinion.

Edit: I too just did my "background check" here. You seem to have an anti-bisexual agenda. And that's fine. That's your issue to tackle. Have a great day.

 

[Alex57]

See that's the thing. There's another well known guy here that also spouts the "we were bi all along" BS. It's just that. BS. I was NEVER into guys sexually till my 50's. I chat with many others that are the same. The LPSG ladies can and do hold their own. We are here for open sexual discussions. Not your ethical or moral issues. That's why this place exists. But hey... That's just my humble opinion.

Edit: I too just did my "background check" here. You seem to have an anti-bisexual agenda. And that's fine. That's your issue to tackle. Have a great day.

If calling out deceptive bi-men and their bullshit is an anti-bisexual agenda, I wear the badge with honour. I'm not here to cuddle anyone in their bad behaviour.

 

[bigboaster]

It's coddle... not cuddle. I'm sure no bisexual man even wants to touch you, let alone cuddle you.

 

[Alex57]

Nothing lost on me because I have no interest in bi-men. Even though I attract them. You thought you ate with that, didn't you? You're the prime example of a bi man who wants to be cuddled in your bad behaviour.

 

[Smallteaplant]

@Sagittarius84​

Can you write an explanation on why bisexuality in men is so complicated? People here are dancing around the issue.


I support bisexuals, however I feel like being with them is a wasted effort.

 

[HemmingwayI]

I don't believe most bisexuals woke up one day and had a bisexual awakening. You were always bisexual. You just repressed those same-sex urges to live a heterosexual lifestyle.

Also, thanks for telling an yourself about the hookup app you use to cheat. I hope the women are taking notes.

I agree with you. It is very likely that they had always had those feelings but had repressed them. That sort of inclination is more common than we might care to believe.

 

[Sagittarius84]

@Sagittarius84​

Can you write an explanation on why bisexuality in men is so complicated? People here are dancing around the issue.


I support bisexuals, however I feel like being with them is a wasted effort.

I don't know for sure but from the perspective of either demographic most likely to "consume" bisexual men(straight women and gay men), I think there are lot of things going on, respectively. I don't think any of these things are actually inherent to bisexual men nor their ability to remain in a long term monogamous relationship, but convenient scapegoats for efforts not wanted to be exerted or introspection not wanting to be explored. I think it's a lot easier to proclaim "he can't be faithful" on the front end then to admit your deficiencies that may have led to him moving on.
I think particularly with straight women that are or would like to be involved with a man in some manner of a poly situation but finds out he's bi, she can't subconsciously rely upon sexual gatekeeping(either individually or collectively in a "sister wife" type situation with other women) as a tool for behavioral influence.
I think bisexual men are largely figurative representations of the proverbial grapes on the vine in Aesop's fables, and most gay men and straight women are the foxes, content to equate their quality to the couple of spoiled bunches that obviously fell to the ground because they don't have the mindset nor capability to get up to examine the plethora of grapes overhead still.

 

[alexbickle]

As much as the sex with these men is great, I can't help but think I am a fetish to them. Just a fetish to them.

And bisexual men aren't a fetish for you? Because we know gays only "accept" one type of bisexuals - the ones who give them the straight guy fantasy. How many of the bi guys you fell for were feminine? Hell, how many of them were out of the closet?

 

[Smallteaplant]

I don't know for sure but from the perspective of either demographic most likely to "consume" bisexual men(straight women and gay men), I think there are lot of things going on, respectively. I don't think any of these things are actually inherent to bisexual men nor their ability to remain in a long term monogamous relationship, but convenient scapegoats for efforts not wanted to be exerted or introspection not wanting to be explored. I think it's a lot easier to proclaim "he can't be faithful" on the front end then to admit your deficiencies that may have led to him moving on.
I think particularly with straight women that are or would like to be involved with a man in some manner of a poly situation but finds out he's bi, she can't subconsciously rely upon sexual gatekeeping(either individually or collectively in a "sister wife" type situation with other women) as a tool for behavioral influence.
I think bisexual men are largely figurative representations of the proverbial grapes on the vine in Aesop's fables, and most gay men and straight women are the foxes, content to equate their quality to the couple of spoiled bunches that obviously fell to the ground because they don't have the mindset nor capability to get up to examine the plethora of grapes overhead still.

Touché. Bisexual men are harder to control in a sexual manner, which makes it harder for gay men and straight women to trust them.

I admit that heteronormativity in nature reigns supreme. I don’t want to compete with it. So whenever i come across a bisexual man, my instincts is to guide him to the opposite sex.

I want to say that sexuality is complicated and multifaceted. As much as I hate to say it. I think that Urien is correct. People have sex and relationships for all types of reasons based on their past experiences.

To be towards straight women, I think that most of them want someone who would worship them. Most women who value their womanhood wouldn’t want to be a bisexual as that ruins the illusion.

I wouldn’t want to date a bisexual as I would likely be a placeholder for some of woman. A bisexual is fun for a hookup, but nothing permanent. I know that they’re gay leaning bisexuals

 

[Urien]

And bisexual men aren't a fetish for you? Because we know gays only "accept" one type of bisexuals - the ones who give them the straight guy fantasy. How many of the bi guys you fell for were feminine? Hell, how many of them were out of the closet?

What's this tone? The keyword in what you quoted me is "Just".

Bisexual men are a fetish for me, but not JUST a fetish. So maybe take more time to read before you pounce on my case unreasonably.

 

[Alex57]

And bisexual men aren't a fetish for you? Because we know gays only "accept" one type of bisexuals - the ones who give them the straight guy fantasy. How many of the bi guys you fell for were feminine? Hell, how many of them were out of the closet?

Why do you guys think most gay men want straight men? Gay men who chase “straight” men aren't the same gay men who don't have an interest in bi men. Most gay men who don't have an interest in bi men don't want straight men.

 

[Alex57]

And bisexual men aren't a fetish for you? Because we know gays only "accept" one type of bisexuals - the ones who give them the straight guy fantasy. How many of the bi guys you fell for were feminine? Hell, how many of them were out of the closet?

Y'all need to stop taking your worldview from porn and Grindr. Feminine gay men who chase “straight” men aren't a representation of gay men.

 

[Sigma85]

I used to think the same thing, what i've learned is that bisexual men who prefer men over women (but still like women) identify as gay. They'll say "technically i'm bi" if pressed.
Men who identify as bisexual usually mean date and have sex with women but just sex with men. They say straight most of the time, but if they have any self awareness they say bi.

Also when i occasionally dabble with old men. I wouldnt say I identify being called a gerontophile/sexual bc i'd honestly never date someone that much older than me, nor do i seek them out, but the occasional fuck that happens sure. I wouldnt even know how that works or what that looks like trying to make it work. Its same for fat guys, its only happned a few times but basically it was a non muffin top type, more gut, hung and taking care of themselves and i would most certainly not say im a chaser in any capacity. The point being is i get how that label thing works now much better

 

[bigboaster]

I used to think the same thing, what i've learned is that bisexual men who prefer men over women (but still like women) identify as gay. They'll say "technically i'm bi" if pressed.
Men who identify as bisexual usually mean date and have sex with women but just sex with men. They say straight most of the time, but if they have any self awareness they say bi.

I think maybe some over generalization going on here, but for the most part you're touching on something real. Even bisexuals can be prone to thinking in a very binary way (that's just society really) and some do "mislabel" themselves willfully as gay/straight for the sake of convenience. Ultimately I still think this hurts bisexual visibility though, and doesn't do much to engender trust.

Also when i occasionally dabble with old men. I wouldnt say I identify being called a gerontophile/sexual bc i'd honestly never date someone that much older than me, nor do i seek them out, but the occasional fuck that happens sure. I wouldnt even know how that works or what that looks like trying to make it work. Its same for fat guys, its only happned a few times but basically it was a non muffin top type, more gut, hung and taking care of themselves and i would most certainly not say im a chaser in any capacity. The point being is i get how that label thing works now much better

This part I take some issue with though. I don't think gay/straight/bi etc can be compared to niche fetishes like gerontophilia, or having a preference for certain body types. I don't think that tracks at all.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Touché. Bisexual men are harder to control in a sexual manner, which makes it harder for gay men and straight women to trust them.

Yeah...something about how this is worded just rubs me the wrong way....I think if this is the notion that is gleaned from what I stated, then it is extremely important to reemphasize the purported "trust", which is supposedly so much harder to retain by straight women and gay men while dealing with bisexual men(although I think this also spills into most straight women's ideological aversion for polygynously inclined straight men), is a non sustainable construct formulated from manipulation and coercion and a willingness to rest upon the haunch of sexual gatekeeper as their primary contribution and function within a relationship.
Perhaps this is one of those looking down from the ivory tower moments, but as a straight man I'd say our defining challenge, especially in the modern age, is how to be a good relationship option with having fewer and fewer "gates" to keep. Is there some unrealistic expectation along this route for straight men to trust women despite not being gatekeepers of sex, protection, or socioeconomic stability, or is that just what par should be for the course?

 

[Tevin99]

This is what I have noticed in my anecdotal experiences as well. Bisexuals (bisexual males more specifically) by and large don't care to align themselves with the "lgbt community" or the "queer community". And the ones that do are typically very queer presenting anyway or lean towards same sex attraction more.

The more "discreet" flavor of bisexuals or the ones who lean more towards women and "pass" as straight. They don't consider their attraction to men a core part of their identity the way many gay men do. It is just... A thing about them. In some cases it's just an itch thye scratch every so often.

But many of them don't want to be associated with "ideology" or "queer politics" by default.

It's why I find it funny how the statistics of bisexuals in terms of polling and surveys are likely a heavy undercounting, when you factor in those bisexual guys don't like to actually label themselves that way for personal reasons, even though they enjoy having sex with men. Interesting stuff.

Ironically enough, the same ones that hide are the ones that are likely to normalize and increase acceptance of LGBT people, or at least same sex attracted people.

Yeah...something about how this is worded just rubs me the wrong way....I think if this is the notion that is gleaned from what I stated, then it is extremely important to reemphasize the purported "trust", which is supposedly so much harder to retain by straight women and gay men while dealing with bisexual men(although I think this also spills into most straight women's ideological aversion for polygynously inclined straight men), is a non sustainable construct formulated from manipulation and coercion and a willingness to rest upon the haunch of sexual gatekeeper as their primary contribution and function within a relationship.
Perhaps this is one of those looking down from the ivory tower moments, but as a straight man I'd say our defining challenge, especially in the modern age, is how to be a good relationship option with having fewer and fewer "gates" to keep. Is there some unrealistic expectation along this route for straight men to trust women despite not being gatekeepers of sex, protection, or socioeconomic stability, or is that just what par should be for the course?

And yet you have Bi men of Twitter and social media/dating apps saying and doing things that rubs straight women and gay men the wrong way. I know it's a small sample size and not representative of every bi male, but a lot of them that hang around gay twitter and gay porn space seem to play into the stereotypes and expectations held of them.

 

[Tevin99]

First... Most of us closeted bi guys use Sniffies. Second... Many of us started out as completely straight guys. Not a thought about sex with another guy. But later in life (you can come up with any reason you like) they started having thoughts of sex with other men. The internet opened up the opportunity to most of us. Maybe it's because I live in a large suburb... But that's they way it looks to me in the "Older Bi Man" community.

Some of those bi married DL men I asked them if they messed with guys in their younger years and most admit they had. They just didn't have the courage because back then it was a different time. Which is fair. However, there are lots of younger bi men still doing this today and at this point you have to shame them because there are no more excuses for it.

They chose their path, decided that they missed messing around with men, and simply go back to doing it again behind their partner's back. Even men that eventually breakup with their gfs, get a divorce, or lose their wife by death still eventually decide to go through it again even knowingly know they like guys and messed around. They want to have their cake and eat it too. All for themselves. And you'll see many proud of doing it on social media such as Twitter with other gay and bi men liking their posts, replying back "awesome, hell yeah" and enabling the behavior!

 

[jln89]

Some of those bi married DL men I asked them if they messed with guys in their younger years and most admit they had. They just didn't have the courage because back then it was a different time. Which is fair. However, there are lots of younger bi men still doing this today and at this point you have to shame them because there are no more excuses for it.

They chose their path, decided that they missed messing around with men, and simply go back to doing it again behind their partner's back. Even men that eventually breakup with their gfs, get a divorce, or lose their wife by death still eventually decide to go through it again even knowingly know they like guys and messed around. They want to have their cake and eat it too. All for themselves. And you'll see many proud of doing it on social media such as Twitter with other gay and bi men liking their posts, replying back "awesome, hell yeah" and enabling the behavior!

I've just read a thread for bi men on here. I think most of them share their one and only brain cell together. They feel sorry for themselves and try to reason their cheating with ranting on here, to goodness knows who, by saying they get no sex, no love, no prostate stimulation, no hope! POOR ME! These poor men. I'm hoping that someone starts a rock concert to get some funds in place for escorts. These guys won't make it otherwise.

None are actually trying to communicate with their wives. They've spent more time finding men who will keep their secrets and finding their buds and their own prostates, than they have ever spent the time to locate their wives gspot. Even time to put in romantic effort or to book couples therapy, is not enough to cover what they do.

The biggest sign is that they will risk having their partners heart break and their world destroyed in front of them, just so they can have a man friend to play with for a moment. But it's "just sex" apparently, they said. Then they come on a site to brag about their antics. Then no ones allowed to call them out as the majority are up to it. It's just sad. It also sets the bi men back 10 places, who are actually genuine. Hopefully my wishful thinking in waking up a lesbian will happen tonight! I'm collecting my cat lady cats, as there's no better future for me than with a loyal, cute, pussy cat. The vibrator does the rest.

 

[Alex57]

Some of those bi married DL men I asked them if they messed with guys in their younger years and most admit they had. They just didn't have the courage because back then it was a different time. Which is fair. However, there are lots of younger bi men still doing this today and at this point you have to shame them because there are no more excuses for it.

They chose their path, decided that they missed messing around with men, and simply go back to doing it again behind their partner's back. Even men that eventually breakup with their gfs, get a divorce, or lose their wife by death still eventually decide to go through it again even knowingly know they like guys and messed around. They want to have their cake and eat it too. All for themselves. And you'll see many proud of doing it on social media such as Twitter with other gay and bi men liking their posts, replying back "awesome, hell yeah" and enabling the behavior

I agree 100%. And when they're called out or exposed they cry biphobia. I have absolutely no sympathy for any of the deceptive disgusting men. Gay men who enable their behaviour are just as disgusting as them (I mostly see the desperate feminine ones doing it). Thankfully, most gay men are repulsed by their behaviour.