Interracial Relationships

[Beanie]

i´m latino and the other day was talking with a friend and i told him that i wouldn´t date anybody that isn´t a mixed race latino. he was little bit shooked because he said that the way i said it sounded a little bit racist, but i know i´m not. What do you guys think? my perspective is that is better for everybody if everyone stays with their own. Thoughts?

Absolutely couldn’t disagree with you more. When I look at a person I see a person. Not a skin colour, not a race or ethnicity, not a religion or faith, not a nationality not a anything except a human.

prejudice is horrible, and I am against it at all cost.

 

[XAngel97]

not many in south america, most are mulatos not black

Yes there are plenty in south america and they identify as such. Colombia, brazil, and venezuela have a large population along with guyana.

 

[Apolo1998]

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Whether or not you think you are a racist – based on what you've written in this thread – you are a racist. There may be some language issues here, but the way you have expressed your beliefs so far reveals an individual with deeply-held prejudices based on nothing but others' ethnicity.

Prejudice = pre-judging: You have made sweeping generalizations about other people and the relationships between them. That steps way outside the idea of your own preferences of the way people look or act. There's nothing wrong with me saying that I prefer partners who get horny over my barbecue skills, but saying that everyone else needs to get riled up over the outdoor cooking of their "own kind" and reject all other people is not okay. Worse, it is toxic to amp that up to say that mixed ethnicity relationships have a tendency not to succeed. Where is your evidence for that? And if there really is unbiased evidence, you still have to ask why? There are many social pressures on mixed relationships that might affect their success rate because of people like you.

Self-fulfilling fucking prophecy. Racism is disgusting, illogical posturing by people who don't think. Be better.

Except that he ask a specific question and made a racist statement at the end. If he didn't want to hear opinions he wouldn't have asked. I don't care who he wants to date that doesn't matter it's when you start saying things like people should stay with their own or that interracial relationships don't last. I don't care how he feels when you make stupid statements you deserve to get reposnes that make you feel bad. If he can't handle it don't ask dumb questions.

bold of you to assume that i feel bad because of the opinions of some random people in the internet

 

[Apolo1998]

The original poster of this thread shamed me indirectly for being biracial.

I don't mind him being shamed for being discriminatory. Not one bit.

when did i do that? i don´t care if you´re biracial, like idgaf about you lol

 

[Apolo1998]

Sometimes people need others to put a check on their behaviour. If I say something that is dehumanizing to a group of people (such as "stick to your own kind"), I want someone to speak up about it, even if that is embarrassing to me. Why? Because I accept that I make mistakes and sometimes need help recognizing those mistakes. It helps me become a better person.

Those that cry out that they are being shamed for saying something demeaning based on identity? They are frequently people that are used to social privilege, therefore they often lack humility: Being called out makes them insecure and their defense is to attack the person checking them. The alternative – which doesn't occur to toxic people – is being a mature, thoughtful adult who pauses and reflects on whether they may have some learning to do.

dehumanizing???? like what?? i understand that i worded what i wanted to say the wrong way- i meant to say that it is easier to date someone that looks and has overall most in common with you than the rest. saying that that´s dehumanizing is just so ludacrous that i´m not even dabating it

 

[Mule]

dehumanizing???? like what??

The fact that you're having trouble with what I said in my post tells me all I need to know. No debate needed.

 

[Apolo1998]

Yes. And its not about me feeling good it's about them feeling bad especially if they are racist. I have no simpathy for any person that is racist.

Shaming more often than not is just an illumination of an undesirable truth...whether or not somebody feels bad as a result of it is just a projection of their willingness to accept that truth.

the truth?? just because people agree on something doesn´t means that it is the truth. many people think like me, they might not say it because of responses like in this thread, but in reality most people decide to stay in their own race, and that´s ok, just like dating people of other races it´s also ok. but the fact that i cannot say what i think without being called a racist?? for fucks sake

 

[Mule]

but the fact that i cannot say what i think without being called a racist?? for fucks sake

Your responses are precise examples of what we've highlighted. Insecure defensiveness without the willingness to listen and learn. Thanks for becoming the evidence of what we were talking about.

 

[Apolo1998]

Yes there are plenty in south america and they identify as such. Colombia, brazil, and venezuela have a large population along with guyana.

i think i made perfectly clear that i wanted someone who speaks spanish, so in that list brazil and the french guyana are off. And people only identify as "afro latino" in the united states, here they´re just "negros" or "negritos". "Black" guys in south america don´t look like black guys in the US. There black people have stronger african features, here they look closer to the european side of the mix, mulatos. you shouln´t make statements like that if you weren´t at least raised in latinoamerica

 

[Apolo1998]

Your responses are precise examples of what we've highlighted. Insecure defensiveness without the willingness to listen and learn. Thanks for becoming the evidence of what we were talking about.

omg ok boomer

 

[Apolo1998]

btw thanks to all of the people harrasing me in the messages, love the attention

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

when did i do that? i don´t care if you´re biracial, like idgaf about you lol

Grow the fuck up or stop posting.

Just a friendly suggestion.

 

[XAngel97]

i think i made perfectly clear that i wanted someone who speaks spanish, so in that list brazil and the french guyana are off. And people only identify as "afro latino" in the united states, here they´re just "negros" or "negritos". "Black" guys in south america don´t look like black guys in the US. There black people have stronger african features, here they look closer to the european side of the mix, mulatos. you shouln´t make statements like that if you weren´t at least raised in latinoamerica

I dont know what your talking about but there are plenty of them who look african, so please stop playing. Next venezeula, colombia, and more have afro latinos.

Im half jamaican and belizean im aware of what im talking about, You mentioning black people in america makes no sense as and many look like those in america or africa here you go.
After centuries of silence, Afro-Colombians add their distinct voices to pop culture

 

[XAngel97]

Here's what I think happens and why I think people are unable to have that inner dialogue that allows their minds to be open to releasing or at least exploring the origins of their biases;
It s what I alluded to earlier in that in some cases an unwillingness to date interacially can serve as a protective measure when we speak about minorities or disenfranchised populations.
The best example I can reference would be black(specifically African American) women..in that many are quick to point out black hetero women's statistical lack of interest in anyone but black men serves a significant role in their ability to form the long lasting and loving relationships they want. Not to say there isnt a conversation there, but it completely ignores a lot of other social and cultural things that work against black women in the dating marketplace. Because frankly there's not a lot of "blackness" that I would have to squelch in order to attract a non black woman's attentions and affections, but I suspect many black women would have to hide or alter aspects of their blackness to attract anywhere near the same genuine(non fetishized) attention from non black men and thats even before you get into the european standards of beauty that are working against them further. So from all that, it can actually be a preventative measure to insist on only black men; to ensure a higher percentage of genuine interest, and to not take on an additional burden of having to teach an unknowing individual when so many burdens are already affixed.
Thats a pretty fair template for any minority to make that decision, so what about the status quo, in most cases, white folk?
Honestly, I think the same thought process is going on; a perception of loss of identity, possible loss of self, except the reality doesn't match. Its not nor ever has been a zero sum game. So what seems like an inequitable situation, a "If they cant do it why can't I" if you will, should be a recognition thats ones history and culture has already been taught and assimilated in to the social fabric, and that adding more to it can only strengthen it, while other's is actually in a precarious situation and some times needs to be preserved as is until it too can be accepted into the social fabric at large.

Interesting enough black women used to be with white men mor than black men/ white woman before legalization of interracial dating. It starting to reverse back to those levels though

 

[XAngel97]

As a middle eastern man, my physical preference is black, darker skinned woman. I’ve dated several and have had the best sex of my life with them. But the culture class is real, I had to end up with someone of the same culture just because of the social groups and family I’m a apart of.

So you basically used them for sex and married in culture.

 

[XAngel97]

All the women I fuck with endorse and actively encourage such terms of endearment and affection, far from, quite the opposite of finding it in any way degrading. Not one single woman has ever even hinted at such and actively use terms in reference to myself such as their 'White King', should I find that offensive bruh? Because I don't!

There clearly coons and suffer self hatred.

 

[Hatt_101]

the truth?? just because people agree on something doesn´t means that it is the truth. many people think like me, they might not say it because of responses like in this thread, but in reality most people decide to stay in their own race, and that´s ok, just like dating people of other races it´s also ok. but the fact that i cannot say what i think without being called a racist?? for fucks sake

English isn't your first language I know that I don't think you feel bad I said I don't care how you feel. If you feel bad by what I said that doesn't matter.

And people chosing to date someone with the same background as them that's perfectly fine that's their choice. When you say people should stick to their own that is where there is a problem. If you want to say racist things say it don't be afraid to say what you think.

If you were an older person this kind of mind set could be expected, not accepted but still expected, but the fact that it come from someone who is only a bit younger than me is sad. Chile me be less diverse but If you were in Canada you would see that many people especially people under 35 are dating someone that is a different ethnicity that them. And you being a gay man you'd think you'd be a little more tolerant.

Again if you can't understand English: I you only want to date people that are the same as you that is fine nothing wrong with that. But when you say what other should do regarding their ethnicity and dating that is where you're wrong.

 

[Hatt_101]

btw thanks to all of the people harrasing me in the messages, love the attention

So you do feel bad because if you didn't you wouldn't feel harrased. You wanted opinions this is what you got. You really think anyone would have sympathy for you

 

[Apolo1998]

I dont know what your talking about but there are plenty of them who look african, so please stop playing. Next venezeula, colombia, and more have afro latinos.

Im half jamaican and belizean im aware of what im talking about, You mentioning black people in america makes no sense as and many look like those in america or africa here you go.
After centuries of silence, Afro-Colombians add their distinct voices to pop culture

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i never said that black people with strong african features don´t

English isn't your first language I know that I don't think you feel bad I said I don't care how you feel. If you feel bad by what I said that doesn't matter.

And people chosing to date someone with the same background as them that's perfectly fine that's their choice. When you say people should stick to their own that is where there is a problem. If you want to say racist things say it don't be afraid to say what you think.

If you were an older person this kind of mind set could be expected, not accepted but still expected, but the fact that it come from someone who is only a bit younger than me is sad. Chile me be less diverse but If you were in Canada you would see that many people especially people under 35 are dating someone that is a different ethnicity that them. And you being a gay man you'd think you'd be a little more tolerant.

Again if you can't understand English: I you only want to date people that are the same as you that is fine nothing wrong with that. But when you say what other should do regarding their ethnicity and dating that is where you're wrong.

i don´t know what not having english as my first lenguage has anything to do with this lol. and me being gay has nothing to do with this either. i get the point ok, let me die a racist then lol

 

[Apolo1998]

So you do feel bad because if you didn't you wouldn't feel harrased. You wanted opinions this is what you got. You really think anyone would have sympathy for you

one of the people writting me told me that i should try getting fucked by a black dude, i don´t need that like i don´t need sympathy, thank you very much. And i´ll be deleting this thread soon because this is getting ridiculous